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The last couple weeks I've become depressed and not as interested/happy about the baby. I know that probably sounds like a terrible thing to say, but it's true. I'm just feeling so achy and overwhelmed with everything...what if I hate being at home with the baby? What if the baby has colic and I can't deal with it? What if the baby has a terrible health problem? What if it's too hard living without my income? It's too much, and I think my brain is coping by trying to detach from the situation.
The frustrating thing is that I already take an SSRI (for anxiety), so you'd think I'd be extra-covered from depression. I gotta say, though, that taking the SSRI just seems to make some things worse. What if it hurts the baby? What if the baby has some of the withdrawal symptoms?
ohhh first of all BIG HUGS. I am sorry you are feeling this way. I am sure you are not alone. becoming a mother is scary and rewarding at the same time. Just know that we are all here for you and understand your fears. I would talk to the dr about how you are feeling. Maybe they can give you some advice. I think there are always going to be what ifs in life. Take each day as it comes* I try to live my life like this.
I am sure having your shower this weekend will boost up your excitement. Our LO's are almost here.
Thank you I bet the shower will help. Playing with the registry used to help, but I don't want to look and find out whether something's been bought, so I'm trying to avoid it!
What doesn't help is when someone asks how I feel and I say "Oh, just tired and achy" and they say "well if you think you're tired NOW" or "you're just going to get bigger, you know." Other people's negativity really gets me down.
And what-ifs have always been a problem for me---not just with this! It's time to make a change for the better in that regard. It's not healthy for me OR for the baby.
I'm sorry that you are feeling all of that -- it is overwhelming. I truly believe that when your sweet baby is here, all of those worries will fade away. Maybe not right away, since things are hard initially, but you will begin to feel better. I hope you feel better before then, but I'm just saying that having your baby will help you to see that everything will be ok. Talk to you friends/family/doctor and get support -- now and once the baby arrives. Being a mom is hard, but you aren't alone - lots of people care about you and will help and you can always come here for advice and support which is important. Thinking of you...
I know how you feel. I was very much the same way when pregnant with my DD. It's scary being a first time mom. Heck I'm scared this time around too thinking "what did I get myself into starting all over again." I would talk to your OB about your feelings now and just remember to be open with people about how you feel especially when the baby gets here. I suffered from really bad PPD and talking was the only thing that helped so stay open with everyone.