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From Dear Abby

Forum: 2010 Playroom


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January 19th, 2010, 06:00 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Bettendorf, IA
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I'm a bit of an old woman I guess and I read Dear Abby every day, this was a question today and I thought it was appropriate here :

Dear Abby: Please settle a dispute between my wife and me. One of her co-workers, "Cassie," is eight months pregnant and also overweight. My wife saw her and said, "Wow, you've gotten as big as a house!"

Cassie told her she was hurt by the comment.

In my wife's opinion, what she said is not uncommon when said to a pregnant woman.

I think the comment was inappropriate. What do you think?

-- Needs a Mediator,

Gainesville, Fla.

Dear Needs a Mediator: I agree with you. No one, pregnant or not, wants to be told she resembles an orca.
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January 19th, 2010, 06:12 AM
homeschooling mom of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Jersey Shore, but MI is home
Posts: 1,960
I agree it's not "nice" to tell someone they are huge but I also agree saying "you're so tiny" can be just as upsetting... I like to stick with "you look great" since big or small I think all pregnant women are beautiful!
~ Candi
wife to Craig 5/28/2002 mom to Aliya 3/31/2004 and Liliana 4/6/2010
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January 19th, 2010, 06:13 AM
Racine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Mitten
Posts: 2,143
Just goes to show you what may be common sense to most people is actually debatable to some....

I'd slap someone if they said that to me.

Thank you, Meganpixel, for my awesome siggy!

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January 19th, 2010, 07:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 3,492
I agree that you have no idea what a woman wants to hear so I think it's best to stick with you look great.

[/COLOR]Nathan(6), Reagan(6), Riley(5), Kaycee(3)

Our Blog

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January 19th, 2010, 07:45 AM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: ID
Posts: 13,200
I used to comment when people were small because i figured it could only be taken as a compliment but i now i think that could be irritating as well. I agree sticking with comments like "you look great" is the best thing to do.

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January 19th, 2010, 09:40 AM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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um. yeah. comparing someone to a house, or a whale, or a cow, is just an insult..

Saying "wow you've blossomed since becoming pregnant"

or "My, your belly has grown "

or something to that extent is different..

wording, means ALOT in how you want something to come across.
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January 19th, 2010, 10:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 1,646
I don't see how saying someone looks small is offensive in the least, but I still stick to "you look great" because people get offended by things I don't understand

You look like a house, on the other hand, is just blatantly wrong.

My thought is that if you wouldn't say it to a non-pregnant person, you shouldn't say it to a pregnant person. Even though pregnant people are supposed to get bigger.

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January 19th, 2010, 10:28 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,041
I'd be pretty pissed if someone said that to me.

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January 19th, 2010, 11:13 AM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,663
Is it wrong that I am laughing my butt off at that "Dear Abby" letter? Who really needs that to be mediated???? How do you think that such a comment is acceptable??? What a hoot!

Thank you Kiliki for my awesome siggy!

visit our family blog at www.stalkedbythestork.com
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January 19th, 2010, 12:33 PM
Loving My Piglets
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: England, UK
Posts: 34,596
My friend told me i had got "massive" since the last time she saw me then quickly pointed out she meant my bump and not me.. but i did take it the wrong way at first so i think it's best to stick with "you look great!" lol
..together for 12 years..

R (10) 24.04.06 - our little angel
R (9) 07.06.07
L (8) 05.06.08
L (6) 26.04.10
C (3) 15.02.13

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January 19th, 2010, 02:24 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 26,352
I find it surprising that the wife thought it was an appropriate comment to make. A woman should know better. The appointment scheduler at my office today asked me when I was due and then said "Wow, you've got that much longer?!?" I kinda took that as similar to "you're huge!" Oh well.

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