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As some of you may remember, my future MIL is throwing my shower for me. Like alot of people right now, her family is experiencing some financial difficulty. Not having the shower is not an option because I don't want to hurt her feelings, but I do want to help out with any expenses that may be incurred for invites, refreshments, etc.
Is there a polite way to approach her about this? I'm completely lost. Would it be rude or tacky to just bring her a cheque?
Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009
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I would maybe just ask her what you can do to help? I mean, if you take on some of the food or decorations, that will definitely help with the expenses. My two best friends are throwing mine, and I asked them if there was anything I could help out with. I don't think I would bring a check necessarily, you could just be direct and say that you know finances are tight for everyone right now and you don't want this to put a strain on her budget, and that you'd like to help out. I don't think that would be rude at all. Good luck!
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I agree with Shannon. I would say something like "hubby and I have talked about it and we decided that we would like to pay for the food. Showers can get expensive and there are already so many other things you are paying for (decorations, cake, invites ect) we'd feel so much better if you would allow us to cover at least the food costs."
That way you are not going to embarrass her by inadvertently suggesting that she can't afford it. She can accept your offer more comfortably (hopefully) if she feels that it would be making YOU feel better and its something you really want to do.
Good luck. Hope you have a fabulous shower!
Maybe you can give the money to a close friend and have her give the money to your MIL. Your friend could say that she really wanted to help out, but doesn't have the time to plan and can help financially. That way you still help out, but she just doesn't know.