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Pregnancy pact--lifetime..


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  #1  
January 24th, 2010, 07:29 PM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So I'm watching that movie on lifetime based on the pregnancy pact that hit headlines a few years ago.. I know that alot of whats in this movie is fictional to add to the hype of television, but it really pisses me off..

I was a teen mom. I got pregnant at 16, and had my son at 17. I didn't mean to get pregnant, nor did I sit there and expect it to be a "huggies commercial" I did alot of preparation, read books, did internet research, and even voluntarily joined a parenting class.

And I still wasn't prepared.

I don't like how fake they make this movie.. Like a girl that had her baby, they go and visit her, and she's crying and whimpering about how much it hurts, because she tore vaginally, but she looks like she's recovering from a MAJOR operation.. this lady asks how the baby is, and the father is like "I don't know, okay, I guess, she's in an incubator or something." like they don't even care.

I just can't stand it. This movie gives teen moms a bad name, like all of them wanted to get pregnant and were too young or stupid to acknowledge the degree of severity that pregnancy is..

Ugh.
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  #2  
January 24th, 2010, 07:35 PM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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I've been watching it too and I think that's what the movie is getting at - that these girls were trying to get pregnant because that what they thought it would be like, like a Huggies commercial. It is a different view of teen pregnancy than is normally shown, though.

I can understand how it would upset you though.
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  #3  
January 24th, 2010, 07:39 PM
k8liz311's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I haven't watched it yet but I have it DVR'd. This story actually came from a town a few towns over from mine. it was all over the news at the time.. that's why I was interested in watching it.

It's not fair that they do that because it does give teen moms a bad name. There are plenty of mother's that I know that had their kids in their teens and were great mothers.

From the story that I knew about this.. the girls did want to get pregnant.. but I have no idea how mature they were about it. Unfortunately one group of naive girls can give a bad name to so many others that don't deserve it.
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  #4  
January 24th, 2010, 08:40 PM
frgsonmysox's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I watched the movie. Not all teen moms are naive but a lot of them are. A lot of teen moms think that having a baby is going to be easy and there is going to be this cute little thing you can dress up who will always love you and la la la la land. I thought the movie was actually quite accurate in portraying that side of it. A lot of times we see these young teen celebs who have a ton of help and support and make it appear so easy. I think more teens need to be aware how difficult it is.
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  #5  
January 24th, 2010, 08:58 PM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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i def. agree that many times teens DO get pregnant on purpose, and think its all coos and giggles.. (we've all seen maury lol) but no, I know people personally who thought it would actually be great to get pregnant in highshool..

I was just not one of them.
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  #6  
January 24th, 2010, 09:17 PM
Bosley's Avatar Hillary
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I watched it too and thought it was better than some of the other Lifetime movies, although I can see it would upset you. I agree with Mylene, I think the point was that these girls thought everything would be rosey and wonderful and that they would have something fun to play with and dress up. The only one who seemed to have a different motivation was the main redhead, who wanted to fit in with the others and was scared of her boyfriend going away to college. Unfortunately turn on Montel or Maury or one of those other talk shows and you do see some very confused young girls actively trying to get pregnant and thinking having a baby is going to fill the emptiness in their lives.

But I did spend most of the movie thinking it was weird that none of the girls ever actually prepared for their babies in the slightest. That and they all kept partying yet no one brought up the issue of pregnant girls smoking or getting drunk. I also think it also glossed over how hard it is to raise a baby. There was that bit with the one girl trying to get the baby to breastfeed, but then they finished on that happy note with the redhead having a wonderful time in her bedroom playing with her baby as if it were the easiest thing in the world.

And of course, as I think we can all appreciate at this stage of our pregnancies - why did this girl only have morning sickness once? and how the heck did her mother make the connection she was pregnant after one bout of sickness when she was so positive her daughter was a virgin? That's a pretty quick leap! And how come not a single one of them complained about their big, uncomfortable tummies, boob issues, feeling tired, etc. And my favorite - how was the redhead still in teeny, fitted shorts and a tiny top by the end of the movie? Shouldn't she at least have had a pooch by then?
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  #7  
January 25th, 2010, 07:15 AM
sweatshirtgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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Darn, I forgot to DVR it. It was a local news story here for a while since I'm also just a few towns away. I will have to check and see if they are replaying it anytime soon. I am guessing a TON of the movie was made up - probably the only "real" thing was the premise of the whole movie.
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  #8  
January 25th, 2010, 08:06 AM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I haven't watched it - but it is on my DVR. I can understand why it would upset you though - hearing what had been described. I can tell you that every teen mom is so very different. I teach in a high school and we have girls that are pregnant that think it will be a Huggies commercial. It is quite sad. And then we have those that take responsibilities and understand how much their life is going to change. they take the classes and prepare - much like you did. Movies are made to play on emotions and often are quite exaggerated. I just hoope that it emphasized how difficult it is to be a teen parent so that kids can realize what they are getting into!

I mean - I am 33 and about to be a first time mom and am scared out of my mind! I give you props for doing it so well at 17...you must be really courageous.
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  #9  
January 25th, 2010, 09:45 AM
ca_dawson's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think the thing that bothered me the most was how the girls were drinking and smoking and partying and driving drunk and no one seemed to make a big deal of it! And why did none of those babies come out prematurely or with fetal alcohol syndrome with all the partying they did? Props to you though for doing so well at 17. I think those girls who are actively trying to get pregnant at such a young age don't realize how hard it will be.
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  #10  
January 25th, 2010, 10:13 AM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I didn't get a chance to watch it. Hopefully it will come on again.
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  #11  
January 25th, 2010, 11:14 AM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Anyone seen the new show "teen mom" on MTV? I don't really care for that show either, because these girls are putting a show on for the show.... Some of the stuff that happens, you can tell is hard and real, but then other things, not so much.. Every single girl on there, for instance, has a teen dad to go along with them (whether hes completely mature about it or not) I got pregnant by an older man, and was alone..

Same with the life of an american teenager...

I don't think they are doing a good job at all by trying to really get the concept of a teen mom.. I think they should talk to someone like me, read my online journal that i've kept since before my son's birth.. Get it from a prespective where it wasn't about cameras, and what people think about you...

I don't like how they make it seem easier than it is.. All of it just seems so fake.

I was fortunate to have my dad's financial support when I had my son, without him, I wouldn't ahve been able to keep my son, or finish highschool. I even managed to get an associates degree.. But it was really, really hard, and I had ALOT of growing up to do, which honestly took years.

They need older teen mom advocates, not the TEENS themselves who are still 16/17 and still doing so much growing and maturing, because I look back on who I was then, compared to who I am now at 23 and it amazes me...

I always try to tell young girls (my cousins for example) the truth of it.. But honestly, they don't listen anyway, because they were like me "It'll never happen to me." I knew I was supposed to be on birthcontrol, and I knew I should've used condoms, and I knew I shouldn't have drank while having unprotected sex (smart much?) But I did.. And I ended up raising my son on my own at a very young age.

Not that any of you need this lecture I just think that TV is trying to OVERPLAY the whole teen mom thing, but its so hard to really show how hard it is from an immature teen's prespective, you need someone who's grown a little and who can realize WHY it was so hard, and WHY things like partying and drinking were unimportant, but at the time, seemed so important.

I say you can't get everything from a teen moms prespective because teen moms are stubborn and proud.. I'm still overly proud LOL because you have so many people telling you how much you DONT know, and how YOUNG you are, etc..Teen moms have a tendency to be their own boss.. It takes a long time to grow and say "they were right, and I should've listened."

I don't know.. im ranting.. I am having a boring day.
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  #12  
January 25th, 2010, 12:02 PM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Kristi - well said! I agree that many of these shows are not accurately portraying what life as a teen mom is really like. You should have your own show!
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  #13  
January 25th, 2010, 12:13 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Kristi,
I agree with you totally. I got pregnant with my first child at 18. And while of course I would never trade him- it was hard- but not in the ways that the media usually portrays it.
For me, I never cared about the fact that my baby meant I couldn't go party or hang out with friends (like Farrah on "teen mom") I never, ever expected anyone BUT me to care for my son. I KNEW he was my responsibility. I did depend on my parents financially throughout my prenancy and for 6 months post partum, until base housing because available (hubby and I married when our son was 4 days old but didnt' live together for 6 months as he was in the marine corps and I was at home waiting for the base to open housing for us) But I did work part time while I was still at home and my husband did send his paycheck home to us (which my parents graciously allowed us to keep in savings while THEY bought what our son needed)
I never expected anyone else to get up in the middle of the night with him or bathe him or get his bottles ready. THat part wasn't ever hard to me. I thought that part was easy. What was not easy was learning to totally give up the selfishness that naturally comes with being a teenager. It was HARD to not sleep in in the morning, HARD to always have someone else who came first. For me it was the maturity that took a long time- not the daily tasks or the logistic responsiblity.
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  #14  
January 25th, 2010, 05:46 PM
RawrDiino's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I just wanted to chime in, if you dont mind.

I watched the Pregnancy Pact, and I watch Teen Mom (every Tuesday). I think that you are absolutely right, they do a really bad job at portraying teen moms. Unfortunately I think that the reason that teen moms are visualized that was, is because a lot of them are actually like that, irresponsible, immature, and believing everything will be like the huggies comercial, or easy, or it will keep their boyfriend around.

I say all these things as a teen mom myself. My DS was born when I was 16. My babys father was a teen daddy. WE were lucky. I mean - so incredibly lucky. If it werent for how fantastic my parents are, I wouldn't have finished highschool, and gotten a degree in MA. I am even starting college, full time next year. My babys father is my fiance, of 5 years. I was LUCKY.

But I dont say all this, trying to show the good side of being a teen mom. Things are hard, my fiance and I almost didnt make it through the tough times. This movie, didnt show moms like you, or me, or fight tooth and nail to make things right over an accident (turned miracle) that we had. And one of these things SHOULD.

So, the narrow all that down. I completely agree with you.
And as for the show Teen Mom, Farrahs babys father isnt around at all. I don't think there was ever a mention of his age. In fact, she ignored him and tried not to tell him she was pregnant in the first place, so I don't know.
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