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Kind of annoyed at my mom


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
February 7th, 2010, 11:50 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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From the very beginning of this pregnancy, she's asked if it was planned. It was and yes we know that Lily is only 2 right now, but we wanted kids closer in age. Just last night we were at my friend's surprise party (my friends know my parents very well so they were invited), and my mom was talking to my friend's mom about having kids. I hear my mom telling her mom "Well I know that they didn't really plan to have kids this close in age, but..." Yes we did! It doesn't matter how many times I tell her that we planned to have this child, she just doesn't get it. The only part of this that we didn't plan on was me being out of work and down to one income, but that happened after I was pregnant. I feel like just because I didn't do things the exact way she did (being married for 8 years before having her first and then waiting 4 years to have another child) then it means that I'm not capable of knowing how my fertility works. Ugh!!
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  #2  
February 7th, 2010, 11:53 AM
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That would annoy me as well. My mom made a similar kind of comment and I reminded her that the spacing between Lily and the new baby will be 19-20 months and my sister is only 19 months older then me. I think she just forget how close in age my sister and I are. And we planned ours this close as well.
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  #3  
February 7th, 2010, 11:56 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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How annoying. I know you've been having a hard time with your mom this time around for whatever reason. At this point all you can really do is ignore it because she clearly isn't hearing what you've been telling her. I'm sorry she isn't more supportive or excited. Aren't your sister's girls about the same difference as Lily and Abrielle will be? I can't remember...
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  #4  
February 7th, 2010, 11:57 AM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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My MIL is very happy for us but she and my FIL do repeatedly tell us that kids are supposed to be spaced 2 years apart, no further than that. They are happy we're pregnant again but they think we messed up b/c we didn't do the way they did.

It is very annoying.
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  #5  
February 7th, 2010, 12:12 PM
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I'm sorry, that would massively tick me off too! I hate when people/family go around saying things one way or another... planned or not it's not something I think you discuss with other people, its the parents choice to have those conversations if they choose... and honestly why does anyone ask/care? Our girls will be 6yrs apart, I get a ton of comments also... really no ones business if it was a semi surprise (which it was, sex w/o pulling out or protection can lead to these things we know) or for all they know we had been trying for 6yrs.
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  #6  
February 7th, 2010, 12:57 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mylene169 View Post
Aren't your sister's girls about the same difference as Lily and Abrielle will be? I can't remember...
Pretty close, they're about 31 months apart and Lily and Abrielle will be 27 months apart. Apparently it's perfectly okay for my sister to have kids that close together but not me. She must forget that I'm an adult sometimes.
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  #7  
February 7th, 2010, 01:42 PM
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That would tick me off as well. My MIL did kind of the same thing when we told her we were expecting. DH and her ended up having some words but things seem alittle bit better now.
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  #8  
February 7th, 2010, 01:51 PM
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That's incredibly annoying. First, your girls' age difference sounds pretty normal to me. Second, it was rude of her to even ask whether it was planned. Third, I don't understand why she'd go around saying it wasn't, even though you said it was! I'm sorry she is being so obnoxious about it.
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  #9  
February 7th, 2010, 05:58 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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uggggg! DH's family is like that too. It's apparently a sign of low class or something to them that we didnt plan our kids far apart, like we are just poor, overbreeders that can't seem to smarten up about what causes pregnancy! LOL! Really, for them is about public perception. It's about what they THINK people are thinking of us! Who cares!
Dh's sister even frequently remarks that with so many kids, she is SURE someone is being neglected and that there is NO WAY we can PROPERLY give them ALL attention. It's so frustrating. Like because its too much of a job for her, that means we shouldn't do it?
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  #10  
February 7th, 2010, 07:35 PM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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yeah that would totally annoy me too! 2 years is a perfectly normal and COMMON age for people to have children, especially when they want children closer in age..

My mother likes to rub my rough pregnancy in my face with "oh well you wanted it!" and she isn't exactly thrilled with our child's name "Audrey" and after trying to talk me into the name "abigail" she actually told a relative she thought we were going to name her "Agatha" UGH because she couldn't remember the original name.. Seriously?
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  #11  
February 7th, 2010, 08:31 PM
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I totally hear you and think i would feel the same way. I think our "mothers" or MILs need to remember they had their turn with their kids (us) and now it's our turn. Let us make our own mistakes and do it the way we need to. The lessons we need to learn are not the lessons they needed to learned. No one is going to do it perfectly (there is no perfect way). I'm also a big believer that each generation should make progress from the one before it - so I hope to take the good from my mom and build on that - but then I sure hope my daughter and son take the good i do and build on that when (if) they have kids.
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  #12  
February 8th, 2010, 10:37 AM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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God, I hope I can remember that when my children are grown! I hope I dont do this to them!
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  #13  
February 8th, 2010, 10:57 AM
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I'd be upset too! Its not like you had a baby and then 2 months later ended up pregnant again, and even if u did, SO WHAT!

Sometimes people need to keep their thoughts to themselves.
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