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i'm so upset with DH *updated/resolved


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
March 29th, 2010, 07:38 PM
kemper2.0's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I was looking at nursery pictures for ideas today and got to thinking about how terribly bad I wanted to know the gender. I've wanted to know since I got my first BFP at 10 DPO and now that I feel like EVERYONE in our ddc knows the gender except me, it's killing me! So I looked online for places where I could have an elective ultrasound and I found one right in my town for only $100. I think that's a really great deal and I want to do it soooo bad. I asked DH about it, figuring he would say of course! Well, he said no!! Apparently since he doesn't care to find out now he doesn't think it's a good way to spend the money. First of all, we can afford it. I mean, it's a hundred dollars... Second, he just bought himself a $140 present for his "birthday"... which isn't until July. When he told me this I just bawled my eyes out. I was quite the sight. I know a large part of that is hormones, but it really upset me. My gender ultrasound at my OB's won't be until the end of *pril/beginning of May and I feel like it may as well be years. I don't realy have a question and I don't think I'm looking for advice. I guess I just wanted some sympathy I'm going to try to talk to him about it again.
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Last edited by kemper2.0; March 30th, 2010 at 12:37 PM.
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  #2  
March 29th, 2010, 07:59 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I'm sorry he said that and isn't being sympathetic to how you're feeling. Hopefully he comes around!
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  #3  
March 29th, 2010, 08:11 PM
Momma-J's Avatar Teach Empathy!
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So sorry you are feeling so sad! I can honestly say that not knowing till birth is wonderful!!! Now I am not saying that you don't constantly wonder or are not anxious to find out but it is a feeling you cannot decribe when you find out at the birth.

This is my last baby and am so afraid of finding out via u/s. My biggest problem is that my children are not allowed at the docs so therefore cannot go to the u/s. They are there at the births and actually cut the babies cords so I hate the fact that they can't take part in the u/s so I am thinking we will go pay for one. The only problem.......we may see what the baby is! lol

It looks as though you plan to find out at the docs appt? right? Well I promise you that it will be here before you know it. Also at this point it still could be tough to tell.
As far as dh... he will probably come around. Hormones are crazy for us right now and believe it or not things are harder for them right now and their responces are not the same as they may have been. Just relax and bring it up at another time. I would say that paying for the 3d/4d u/s is so far beyond the $100 anyway. That type of u/s is amazing however I am waiting till I am further along because the more weight the baby puts on the more like themself they begin to look and those photos are priceless! Tell him thats what you want for an easter present. Not cause you are anxious but for the cd and 3d photos!
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  #4  
March 29th, 2010, 08:33 PM
ardisbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I bet by the time we hear back from you he will change his mind! Tell me he did right? Guys can be so like that when there's something we want that they don't seem to think is important. Feel better Kat!
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  #5  
March 29th, 2010, 08:33 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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  #6  
March 29th, 2010, 08:37 PM
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Hugs! You are in the same boat as a lot of us here. I mean really in fact only like 10 or so people in this DDC know the gender and the majority will not find out until April/May some even later. The 3D U/S are amazing hun but I will say that they are much more special when you get them between 28-32 weeks, by then you can really see the baby, right now it's not as exciting unless you only want to know the gender and don't really care about the other stuff. Either way I hope your hubby comes around and whatever decision you make is a happy one.
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  #7  
March 30th, 2010, 03:39 AM
Angel_Maker
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Fortunately my DH is anxious to confirm the gender, so he's all for an elective U/S now, HOWEVER he doesn't want a 3D u/s at 30wks+ because he said he doesn't want to see what the babies going to look like before he's born......sooooooooo.......I'm going without him

We've always said we wanted to kids....and by the end of the year that should be our reality, so this very well will be my only pregnancy (to term hopefully) so I am going to do what makes me happy. DH understands

If your DH just spent $140 on himself....then I'd say go spend the $100 on YOURself.....he'll live I promise!
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  #8  
March 30th, 2010, 04:21 AM
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Hugs... I understand you. MY DH would be exactly the same, I don't even bother asking anymore. I just patiently wait till my US. I am going to set my date today and it will be around your date. You are not alone without US!
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  #9  
March 30th, 2010, 04:37 AM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
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Totally feel your pain Kat! I have been dying and begging to know since the BFP and also found an elective place around $100 and DH said no because our health insurance covers anything our doctor on post does free. So I'll be waiting till the end of April/beginning of May too And my tard of DH bought himself a $300 shotgun a couple weeks ago So you're definitely NOT alone I've cried and whined over this for weeks now!
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  #10  
March 30th, 2010, 05:27 AM
J9+J+C=Complete's Avatar Charlotte & Jacob's Mommy
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Just remember that a lot of women right now are 18+ weeks so some aren't paying for the elective u/s and are just finding out from their appts. I know it feels like everyone is finding out, but as someone said before, only like 8 people know out of probably 100 on here. Four weeks will FLY by before you know it! It will be worth the wait and you can spend the 100 bucks on cute baby items as soon as you find out the gender Unless, of course, he changes his mind!
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  #11  
March 30th, 2010, 05:48 AM
pbcups10's Avatar Super Mommy
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I totally understand how you feel. I am due 9/6 but am waiting until my 20 weekk u/s n 4/19 to find out the sex and it feels like forever... but I'm trying to enjoy the suspense too. In my area a gender only 3d u/s is $185! Yikes. But if I could get one for $100 I probably would. Maybe hubby will come around... if he gets to buy himself gifts so should you!
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  #13  
March 30th, 2010, 05:59 AM
-Trish-'s Avatar Mom to 3boys & a Princess
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If it were me I would just book it and go...but that's just me, I don't like to be told what I can and can't do LOL...but my hubby would never tell me no if there was something I really wanted, he spoils me a bit like that I hope your hubby changes his mind and you get to find out soon!
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  #14  
March 30th, 2010, 06:35 AM
QuaintandQuirky's Avatar Keri
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I would wait (I am waiting just like you). The people who know gender are the ones who are posting, but I think most of us don't know the gender yet. We just aren't posting threads announcing that we DON'T know yet! KWIM? In the grand scheme of the pregnancy, it's not that long to wait! I'm dying to know too, believe me!

What I would do is take the money and spend it on something fun for yourself or the baby once you find out! (to get back at DH!!! muahahah)
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  #15  
March 30th, 2010, 06:44 AM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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(((Kat)))

First of all, like many of the other posters have said, there's a bunch of us that aren't getting our gender scans until the last week of April (myself included). I was given an educated guess of Baby Acorn's gender at the NT scan, but it was too early for it to be 100% accurate and to act on that (and as MommyKent has shown us, early gender prediction can be way, way off!). So in terms of waiting for what seems like forever.......a lot of us will be waiting with you.

Secondly, if you can afford it and you want it, you should do it. My DH might voice his opinion on something, but since we have separate accounts, it's my money to spend the way I want to. DH spends oodles of money on fishing equipment, so when we do start shopping for Acorn, he better stay out of my way so I can get what I want!

Hope the situation works itself out (and DH sees the light!).
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  #16  
March 30th, 2010, 06:50 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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Awww... I can feel your pain! I'll be 19w5 days when I get my u/s done. I'm like the other gals... I may have gone forth with the u/s if it was that important to me, but like the other said, you may not get nearly the wonderful views that you'd get at a later time.

Perhaps you can call your docs office and ask to be put on a waiting list for an earlier u/s (at about 18 or so weeks?) if an opening comes up.

Or....

You can work on your DH some more A mother's day gift, early, is a great idea
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  #17  
March 30th, 2010, 07:16 AM
mt23hc's Avatar Melissa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by -Trish- View Post
If it were me I would just book it and go...but that's just me, I don't like to be told what I can and can't do LOL...but my hubby would never tell me no if there was something I really wanted, he spoils me a bit like that I hope your hubby changes his mind and you get to find out soon!
Ditto.

I hope he comes around and if not, I would just go and do it. If you CAN afford it, why not!? PS: I went and had an elective but it was 2D. You could call and ask if they offer discounts on a 2D just for a gender peek! The company I went through did "gender peeks" for $40. It was 2D and only lasted about 5 minutes but it served the purpose! We saw his goods and she showed us his heartbeat and we saw him moving and flipping around.
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  #18  
March 30th, 2010, 08:48 AM
ameriguat
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I don't know either! I told Estuardo I wanted to do the 2 session thing for $200 and he said no too....BUT I said If this is going to be my only kid, I want to have every memory I can. I want them to know of how much they were loved and it would be a great memory to pass down. Then I asked if he said no because it was about the money and he said yes, so I said now do you understand why I want to do it? and he told me to go ahead!

NOW, the freaking office is closed when I can do it and to have my step mother there on her day off is going to be hard and the office doesn't have any available times for when I need them...EERRRR so I am waiting for my phone call that I don't know when will come!
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  #19  
March 30th, 2010, 12:37 PM
kemper2.0's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for the support everyone! It is finally resolved. I told him that I would be willing to spend "my money" on the ultrasound and that he can come if he wanted to, but I was going to go ahead and book it.
Then he had a better idea!! We'll be going to see my mom this week in Dallas and he suggested I 'look for a place there and see if anyone can do it for cheaper. If not, go ahead and book it that way your mom can see him/her too while we're there'! and I found a place that only charges $65. It's only 2d but they will tell me what I want to know and plus my doctor does a 3d/4d at every ultrasound so I'm not missing out on anything.
Soooo, I booked an appointment and we'll find out the gender on Friday!!!!!!!! I'm so excited my mom will be there with me and DH We're both very excited about it and well, DH is just happy he isn't forking over the money lol.
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  #20  
March 30th, 2010, 12:39 PM
mt23hc's Avatar Melissa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kemper View Post
Thanks for the support everyone! It is finally resolved. I told him that I would be willing to spend "my money" on the ultrasound and that he can come if he wanted to, but I was going to go ahead and book it.
Then he had a better idea!! We'll be going to see my mom this week in Dallas and he suggested I 'look for a place there and see if anyone can do it for cheaper. If not, go ahead and book it that way your mom can see him/her too while we're there'! and I found a place that only charges $65. It's only 2d but they will tell me what I want to know and plus my doctor does a 3d/4d at every ultrasound so I'm not missing out on anything.
Soooo, I booked an appointment and we'll find out the gender on Friday!!!!!!!! I'm so excited my mom will be there with me and DH We're both very excited about it and well, DH is just happy he isn't forking over the money lol.
GREAT! I'm happy for you! That is exactly what I did...just a 2D gender peek
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