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Kylie is 3 months old today, and we have been struggling with BF'ing for about the past month. My supply went WAY down and I started supplementing. I BF every feed, but it just wasnt enough, so I'd give her a bottle afterwards. It was a bad habit to even start, but I knew my supply wasnt enough for her. After a month of endless pumping, lactation cookies, and adjustments to my diet, I think its about time to throw in the towel. I'm having an emotional time coming to terms with this. I feel like I'm cheating my baby out of something; I feel like I should keep trying. But my body knows that the little amount of milk I am giving her isnt worth much at this point. I just feel so extremely guilty. Kylie loved nursing, and I felt so proud to be able to nourish her. I feel so guilty. Any suggestions as to what I can do to get over this? I keep telling myself that I am a great Mommy, but every time I give her formula, I cant help but feel like I failed her.
I understand how you feel, this is how I felt when I stopped BFing and started pumping exclusively. My supply went way down and I had to start supplementing formula. The first week I started supplementing, she got a horrible cold and I felt incredibly guilty.
Here's the thing: You can only do your best. I have to remind myself of that. I did the best I could. Daphne is getting some formula. It will not kill her. Many, many, many babies are 100% formula fed, and they are FINE.
Breastfeeding is more difficult for some people than for others. It was incredibly difficult for me. Daphne turned 3 months last week and I'm about to stop pumping and throw in the towel too. I'm only getting about 12oz of breastmilk a day, and for all the effort (I too tried teas, cookies, etc.) it really isn't worth it for 12oz of breastmilk. I pump every 3 hours all day long for about a half hour to get that amount and it's just too time consuming to keep up. But I do feel guilty, so I know where you are coming from.
I don't know that there's anything that can be done to get over the guilt, just know there are LOTS of people out there in the same boat as you are, you aren't alone, and Kylie will be FINE and PERFECT.
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Thank you Claire 1979 for my lovely siggy.
Thanks, girls. I try to tell myself that many babies NEVER get breastmilk, and turn out fine. I never had much luck with pumping, but I kept it up anyway. Kylie hasnt gotten sick yet, knock on wood. I think its just gonna take time for me to get used to the idea of not BF'ing anymore.
Please don't feel guilty. Before you know it, she will be in a new stage of starting foods and you will look back at this short period of time and just be proud of how long you actually nursed her. Many women don't make it this far--you did great!
When I stopped pumping at 7 months with my first, I couldn't believe how "free" I felt. To not be attached to the pump, watching the clock to figure out when to pump, and have your body back just feels great.
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Mindy (32)
DH (34)
Thank you to peimum for my adorable siggie!
That's my status on Facebook right now that I "wish I could stop this immense feeling of guilt everytime I pour Jack a bottle". He's been ff for 2 months now and I still feel horrible about it. There are a lot of women in your boat and I'm sure we all have guilt...I don't know how to get over mine either
Chloe- I have my good moments and my bad. Somedays, I tell myself, Kylie is happy, growing and thriving on the formula, so I must be doing something right and I should stop being so hard on myself. After all, my Mom went through the same thing we me- having to stop BF'ing due to supply issues. And its not like I spent my childhood looking at my Mom as if she withheld something from me.
Other days, I just feel so guilty. Yesterday was the first day I didnt nurse, and I felt somewhat ok with it. But today I'm reeeally engorged so I might give in when she wakes up. At this point, I think I do it more for my satisfaction than hers. Its not like she is getting much.
My guilt is already setting in - right now I'm debating formula (again) when I go back to work. I just feel like I need/want to still BF, but not sure my time at work will allow for it. I'm more torn than ever. And he still loves it so much.
I felt guilty with my girls, too. It's definitely part of the mom role. Guilt-free living is sort of out the window. Now I feel guilty for other things too as they've grown. Such is life as a mom, I guess.
I know how you are feeling...I haven't used any Formula yet, but I am having difficulty maintaining my supply now that I'm working. I don't have much time to pump at all, and I have a hard time relaxing enough to get much. It's getting to be less. So far, I'm still keeping up, but I have NO extra if he decides he wants to eat more. It's tough, but you have done so much good for your daughter! Happy mommy is important for a happy baby. She will be just fine
I wouldn't feel guilty. I lasted 2 weeks with my first and a month with my second. It was hard but i did what i could and i was glad both my babies got the best stuff which was in the begining. Lasting 3 months is great, not everyone can reach that milestone. Be proud that you did and your baby got the best. She will love you no matter what
What people don't know before having a baby is how difficult bf'ing truly is. And I think that needs to be out there more for new parents that it really isn't as easy as some people make it out to be.
I've had to supplement for Rachel since she was 4 days old because I have a very sh*tty supply. I was told I'm in the 5% of people who would never produce enough to ebf. Did I feel guilty? He!! yea I did. And you know why - it's because there's still that "stigma" towards those who choose to or have to formula feed over breast feed and even though I physically could not produce enough, I still got sh*t from people (who knew my situation, might I add) telling me that "breast is best" and asking why I wasn't strictly breast feeding!?!? (obviously those people have never been in a situation where their supply was low or they were having some sort of issue with bf'ing).
I cried for the first few days knowing that I wouldn't be able to give her only breast milk, but honestly, after seeing Rachel finally gain weight (she was down 16% of her birth weight within 3 days of birth because I didn't produce anything) and continue to gain weight well, I quickly realized that THE most important part is that my baby is getting food somehow and thriving.
Kylie will be perfectly fine on formula. You're still a great mom!
Last edited by ~my2beauties~; June 23rd, 2010 at 11:53 PM.
Don't feel guilty at all. You are an amazing mother not matter what. You gave your precious daughter three months of breastmilk, and that's amazing!!!! I weaned William after six months, and I remember going through the exact same feelings you're going through. Today, William is a very bright, and healthy 3-year-old. He rarely gets sick, and he's extremely smart for his age. Honestly, I think environment plays a huge role over what type of milk your baby gets. Patrick is EBF now, and has already had two little colds, so that tells you a lot right there. I am a little jealous, because I would love to have my body back...it's such an amazing feeling... trust me. Good luck with everything, and we are definitely here for you. No one should judge based on the best decision you can make with you and your daughter. Oh, and wean slowly to avoid painful engorgement.
What people don't know before having a baby is how difficult bf'ing truly is. And I think that needs to be out there more for new parents that it really isn't as easy as some people make it out to be.
I've had to supplement for Rachel since she was 4 days old because I have a very sh*tty supply. I was told I'm in the 5% of people who would never produce enough to ebf. Did I feel guilty? He!! yea I did. And you know why - it's because there's still that "stigma" towards those who choose to or have to formula feed over breast feed and even though I physically could not produce enough, I still got sh*t from people (who knew my situation, might I add) telling me that "breast is best" and asking why I wasn't strictly breast feeding!?!? (obviously those people have never been in a situation where their supply was low or they were having some sort of issue with bf'ing).
OMG! I am convinced that there are more than 5% of us out there, first of all. You should not feel guilty. They supplemented Lauren at the hospital without my permission so my supply and bf'ing efforts were doomed from the start. She was 5 lbs 6 oz and it took 10 days for my milk to come in and it never really came in like gangbusters like most women describe. I've felt guilty from day 1 but I had to come to the realization that the number one goal is to feed the baby. I've been pumping exclusively since around 6 weeks and still supplementing with formula. Once the nursing stopped my supply fell off and I'm around the same 10 to 12 oz a day, pumping 5 to 6 times a day. I'm working also, and it is very hard to keep up. Lauren comfort nurses but she has forgotten how to latch properly because of the bottles so it's become very uncomfortable when she does nurse. I'm determined to make it to 6 months, but have contimplated stopping earlier and certainly would NEVER blame you for doing so. You gave it your best, your baby is healthy and happy, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.
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My prayers for a healthy baby to hold in my arms were answered on February 18, 2010. God is GOOD! Mommy to 6 angel babies. Nicole
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