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Not sure if anyone else is in this situation, but here goes!
DH and I have not DTD since, hmm, well, CONCEPTION!!! Yes, poor DH has been on a dry spell since early March. I was really nervous to do it at first since I was having spotting issues. Then my doctor put us on pelvic rest due to the placenta previa. My 20 week ultrasound showed that my placenta had lifted into the anterior position, so we were given the green light by my OB. I am still SO nervous since it has been a while and I don't want to bleed or do anything to hurt Morgan. I know millions of pregnant women do it all the time, I don't know why I just can't get over it! I mean, I want to - the desire is there, but the fear takes over. TMI - DH has the tendency to get rough and I can't stop imagining poor Morgan being poked in the face by DH! I try to please him in "other" ways, but I know it's not the same. He has been so cranky lately and I know this probably has alot to do with it. He doesn't seem to have any concerns at all with it.
So, there it is. I've said it. Any advice?
__________________ ~Jennifer~
Wife to Ken
Momma to Morgan
Baking a Rainbow
I don't let my hubby get very rough. There's times when I would like him too, but I'm too nervous. I've spotted twice after sex, but I know that's normal and it didn't sway me from not doing it.
I would say do it....but ease into it. Explain nothing too rough. Stop him if he gets carried away w/o knowing.
1) You might spot, it is totally normal.
2) No matter how endowed he might be (or thinks he might be), Morgan will not feel a thing. She is tucked way, way, way up there.
3) If you still are not comfortable, take care of him other ways.
Your not alone. I am not worried about the baby but I am just too dang tired. My husband and I work opposite schedules plus we have a toddler. We have probably had sex two or three times since finding out we were pregnant. I just have no drive for it. And I was like this when I was pregnant with my son. Even before I got pregnant, it was a rarity. Luckily, my husband understands this. He is just as exhausted as I am at night. Though he craves it a lot more than I do.
We have only DTD twice since conceiving... Granted, I have only seen him about 4 times since then, but we've only done it once on only two of the trips I've taken. I think he's more nervous about something happening than I am --- but I swear I'm determined to make up for lost time when he come back next month, as I'm afraid we may be told to stop soon!
I agree with the other girls -- Try to relax and be sure to try and control things if your DH starts to get a little out of hand. You'll be fine!!
We have rarely dtd since conception too.
Just too tired!!!! I have a 2 yr old and a baby attached to me all day plus the pregnant belly. I love being a mommy, but I sure don't feel like dtd late at night when dh gets home from work.
He's too tired most of the time too.
Not a big deal at all (for us). We always get back into the swing of things eventually but for us its not a big issue while I'm pregnant.
If he worked a normal schedule, maybe it would be more regular. But he works 2-11 and by the time he gets home, I'm already in bed exhausted from the day and from pregnancy too!
That's how I was too. I waited until my birthday in late July to even do something with him because I was so nervous. If you want to I would try it, just try to take it easy.
Maybe you could do a shallow position, like spoons at first. The first time dh and i dtd i had lots of spotting afterwards and i was really scared to do it again. But ive overcome my fear now and its more regularly now.
1) You might spot, it is totally normal.
2) No matter how endowed he might be (or thinks he might be), Morgan will not feel a thing. She is tucked way, way, way up there.
3) If you still are not comfortable, take care of him other ways.
__________________
Corey
Mom to: Kimberly (15), Caleb (14), Micayla (12),
Zechariah (11) and Frankie - born 1/3/11
Just like always, the first time will be the scariest. But talk it out with DH beforehand so he knows what to do. Then do your best to let yourself go with the moment! If you stress and don't enjoy it, you'll be even less inclined to try again. Good luck!
You are not alone, DH and I have not DTD since 2 days before egg retrieval, before and after transfer I was too nervous and now I just don't want to. We actually aren't usually very active in that area anyway but I know DH thinks I am weird (probably because I am usually the one wanting to).
we've only DTD a handful of times since conception too. probably a few between conception & BFP. but then i had some spotting issues in the beginning so we waited until about 12wks. since then it's probably been like 4 or 5 times. i am just always so freaking tired by the end of the day!
We're actually reversed in this... after my Dr. told us no sex until baby arrives (at our 10 wk visit! :S), DH wouldn't let me anywhere near him unless it was with my hand lol.... that is until a couple weeks ago (or it might have been last week.. i forget already) when I'd finally bugged him enough and he said ok that he'd ignore the Dr. for a night and we could have some fun . Part way into the "fun" session we realized that not only was I spotting, but I was bleeding like crazy, and actually ended up soaking through a towel on the bed, and into the mattress... I was mad at my vag for being an idiot... but now we know why the Dr. said no sex for us... Totally p-ssed off my polyp and we won't be taking any more risks until after delivery now.
I don't, however feel bad about the lack of sex.. I was just really horny that night! 9 months is such a short time to go without... and even if men get a little cranky, it's worth doing whatever makes you comfortable.
__________________
Thank you Thank you Thank you to Alethia for my awesome siggy!
Sorry, hubby and I have only DTD once since my 12 week bleed.. And I was so nervous about it that I just couldn't enjoy it at all.. It's really unfortunate I think since my hormones are going crazy right now and I REALLY want to. BUT, can't get over the fear of it. We finally got the green light to go ahead again yesterday..
Maybe just stick with positions where you are the one in control? That's probably what we're going to do. It'll probably still take a couple times of nothing bad happening before you relax again.. Remember some spotting is perfectly normal! I kept reminding myself of that over and over to prevent the inevitable freak out.. lol
But, ended up not having spotting at all with me controlling it.. But, yeah, I'm lucky, hubby doesn't care too much about DTD anyways. Usually I'm the one initiating, well, when I'm NOT pregnant..
We've only DTD once since Feb I was so bloated and uncomfortable while on the injectables that I really didn't want to, then after the transfer I was too nervous. Now, it seems that I go to bed way earlier than he does Oh my, we'd best get on this or it will be a very loooong dry spell for DH!
Wow - I thought we were the only ones! We did a couple of times in the first tri, but it really unnerves DH and it has only gotten worse since I have started showing. The really bad thing - my drive is GREAT right now AUGH!!
Count me out too, it's only been a handful of times for us too. I had some spotting in the beginning so we didn't do anything until after 12 weeks. I have a toddler who keeps me busy and I'm usually too tired to even think about it. Nine months isn't that long to go without, we have the rest of our lives to make up for it, hopefully all of the deprived DH's out there understand.
DH and I have only DTD a few times since conception. He is afraid of hurting me and baby and I just can't relax enough to enjoy it. On the positive note, we have become really good cuddlers.
