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Anything new going on you want to get off your chest?
Well, as most of you know, I am like a bazillion days late. I dont *think* I am pregnant...but I guess there is a chance. I've taken one test and it was negative. Two days ago I thought I had food poisoning but now am not sure it is/was that. Ugh, I hate to even admit this but I will really be upset if I am pregnant. Which is awful, I know. I would never get an abortion or anything, but I feel like I will resent this baby for putting me through another rough pregnancy and worse delivery and aftermath. I KNOW its not the baby's fault (if there is one) but I worry that is how I will feel. Ok, just had to get that off my chest! Thanks for listening!
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*thanks to Madge for my fab siggy!*
A truth about me today is that I love my son with all of my heart and soul, and yet there are days that I just watch the clock and count down to his bed time. He doesn't want to be put down anywhere, but when I hold him he kicks, squirms and claws at me. It's just a rough phase we have to get through. Once he learns to crawl, this phase will be over.
Michelle, I understand how you feel. I don't think you're a bad person for feeling that way and as every mother knows, you'd love that baby just as much once (s)he arrived. It's just hard to feel excited for something you're not planning/prepared for. I hope you keep getting the negatives and get A. Flo back soon.
My truth? Hmmm...I guess there's a part of me that's missing the start of a new school year. I'm looking forward to staying home with my girls and feel fortunate because I know so many women wish they could, but can't, BUT I loved teaching & will miss it. In the long run, I know this move is a great opportunity for my DH and so that's just what you do (as a couple) but it's hard leaving all our family, friends, house that we loved, AND my job!
Lori- Madenn is in the same boat as Blake, I count down as well but even nighttime is a struggle last night he woke up 7 times.. I'm counting down to his 3rd birthday bu then he should be doing better haha!
Kelly: That would be very hard! I commend you on doing whats best for your husband and giving up something you love!
My truth is I am so bitter towards df because his car got taken away so he has to have my car to get to work which leaves me stuck at home all day. I can't even go to the gym or anything! And he's been so busy working there is no groceries in the house and I feel it is his duty to provide them for me since I no longer can work with no car.. he doens't care theres no groceries cause he's not home but I am!! ughhhh
Michelle - I have totally been there. I got what I think may have been swine flu a few months before we decided to try to have a baby. Being so sick really messed with my cycle and made me super late. I was feeling just like you. We were living in a 350 sq ft studio and with no room for a baby. Maybe getting sick messed with your cycle.
Hmm my truth? I really hope that Colin is not a "momma's boy" when he gets older. My husband says that I am "fiercely independent" and I hope my kid picks some of that up from me. I will of course love him however he turns out.
My truth...I've considered quitting breastfeeding so I can finally lose some weight. I feel horrible for thinking it. I swear this lack of sleep is messing with my head. Which leads me to my other truth...I am so tempted to let her CIO at night. This is the oldest any of my kids have been without sleeping through the night or at least giving me a 6-8 hr block of sleep. Last night she was up every 2 hrs! I am exhausted and I feel like I just can't do this anymore
Yeah Tiff do not feel guilty. I am quitting BF at 6 months and I don't feel guilty at all. I need sleep and a vacation! I will never get used to waking up at 4AM. Tonight will be Colin's first BM+formula bottle.
ugh, my truth is a terrible truth. we are overdrawn by about $300 in our checking right now. we got popped with like 5 NSF fees...the bank covered us for $200 negative but after that they started rejecting everything and still charging us the NSF's. hubby gets paid tomorrow, so we'll have barely enough just to cover what we are negative and pay 2 bounced checks to the grocery store (had no choice we needed food) and 1 to something that is auto drafted every month for dh. then i know the grocery store will charge us like $25 for each of the 2 checks....then we will be broke again and won't be able to pay our car insurance, electricity, or phone bill.
Joci- So sorry! That really sucks! It's hard not to feel resentful in a situation like that. I hope things improve for you soon!
Judy- Hopefully you'll get a balance of Mama's boy and independent. My husband is a pretty good mix...loves him his mama, but I know ultimately he loves me and the girls & we're his first priority.
Tiffany- I'm sorry I understand what you mean not sleeping through the night. My pediatrician just told me that at 6 mo. Anna should no longer need the middle of the night feeding for nutritional purposes. I never considered not nursing her, but I think I might just try to rock her back to sleep at the point, because like you, I put her down at 9 or so and am up at 1 and 4. I am SO ready to start sleeping again! Hang in there. But if you decide to go to formula, I'm sure noone will fault you for it.
I have to go to court tomorrow for the traffic tickets I got for driving with a suspended license (which happened cause my insurance lapsed) and driving with no insurance. I am soo terrified because this has never happened to me before..these are the first tickets I got in my life. I just wish I hadnt been so stupid as to not pay my insurance. But I really couldn't because hubby and I were struggling just to pay our rent. I just want to get this over with
(This was really hard to admit for me as I feel like a complete and total jerk for this whole thing)
My Tuesday truth is that Jace has never slept completely through the night ever. And b/c I'm so tired from working, I've been sleeping unintentionally through his cries and him waking up. DH has been giving him a bottle in place of me breast feeding him b/c he sees how my exhaustion affects my day. So, he's pretty much weaned completely. Being tired makes me delirious and the past few days I feel like can't even think straight.
I miss being able to spend time at home with Jace and being able to be available to the girls and DH for whatever they need - emotionally and physically. I wish I could duplicate myself. *sigh*
I am so upset with myself and my body chemistry! I have been good as far as eating and exercise go, but I have gained weight! I HATE THIS!!! The new clothes I bought for work that were fitting me perfectly are now too tight and I have the muffin top going again! Stress makes me gain, but I just started work 3 weeks ago and just started bringing Kingston to a babysitter this week so I can't NOT be stressed right now!! I hate that I worked so hard all summer to lose a measly amount of weight and within 3 weeks, its all starting to come back. Stupid, stupid, stupid!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!: brickwall:
