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I can't get into specifics as I'm on my work laptop. Let's just say that things are happening there that directly impact MY CLASS and there's little I can do to stop them. And quite honestly, there'd be little I could do even if I were there. I know I shouldn't care because I'm on leave but I have to go back in January and if these changes go into effect, I'll have to deal with them then.
I told DH I wanted to stay home for an entire year and he said we couldn't afford it. I'd dress Betsy in the same 5 white onesies to save money if it meant I could just stay home.
So now I'm sobbing here at the kitchen table, trying to keep quiet because she's sleeping and if she wakes up, she'll want to eat -- and I can't let my baby eat when I'm sobbing.
I'm sorry -- there's no one else's shoulder to cry on right now.
I'm sorry, Amy!! Work stress is really the absolute LAST thing you need right now!
When did you and DH talk about you taking the whole year off? Maybe it's something you can revisit now that you have this whole new additional stress? And if you do take the whole year, will you still be guaranteed your job when you get back? If so, taking an extra semester, if it will help your emotional and mental health, might not be such a bad idea. There are lots of little ways to scrimp and save money (talk to Constance and Kris ). And hopefully going back next school year will give you a fresh start. Plus, you'll have extra time with Betsy!
However, if it's out of the question, hopefully the changes won't go through, or if they do it won't be as big of a change as you're anticipating? I'm just sorry that you're dealing with this when you should be able to be focusing on your brand new baby and being happy and enjoying her and healing!
__________________ Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)
I'm sorry you're dealing with work crap right now, especially while on leave. I know it's hard, especially for me, but one thing I've tried to teach myself to do is to not dwell on things I can't control. VERY difficult sometimes, but when you're able to let go and focus on what you can control, it can make life much easier. I'm not trying to sound preachy, just wanted to give some advice on what I try to do. Just try to enjoy your sweet baby girl
I'm so sorry, Amy!!! I think Amy has some ideas and questions that are great to ask... and you may not even want to ask or answer them right now. Wait until the beginning of November to revisit the idea of taking off the spring semester. I know money may be really tight then, but you also want to weigh the cost of day care, stress, and the emotional connection you may want to have during this first year. ((HUGS)) I know it's tough, but the important thing is that Betsy has you and you have her and no matter what happens at work, you'll always have her to make your day even better
__________________ Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
I'm so sorry. I am a teacher too, but I am taking a few years off. DH works full time, and we just live very simple (which we have come to genuinely enjoy). The real financial issue for us is that it will take longer to pay off student loans. Maybe if you and your DH sat down and crunched some numbers you might find it would be do-able for you to take some time off.
Maybe the best thing to do right now would be to try to not think about the issue at work or being a SAHM, and then revisit the SAHM idea in a couple of weeks or so. I feel for you though. I hope you can come to a solution that brings you peace soon.
Thanks girls. I spent the afternoon crying, but I think I got it all out of my system now. DH and I have talked about the situation and I know what I need to do at work. I really can't stay home for the full year -- financially it would be tight but even worse is that if I did stay home, I would lose my seniority over the next social studies teacher -- and in this bad educational climate, I cannot afford to lose that.
Betsy and I are cuddling on the couch right now and she's looking all super-duper cute -- it's the best stress relief in the world! Thanks again!