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happy but sad :(


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
September 17th, 2010, 09:34 PM
Mom2#1Drakester's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: fort worth, tx
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Well i decided to stop bf'ing I felt that it was stressing me out and probably in turn stressing out Drake. He spent his whole day just crying and rooting. Now we give him the bottle and he just looks so relaxed and happy and so much less crying. I am sad b/c i will miss the bonding but he still seems happy to get the bottle from me and I know all that really matters is he is eating I just spent to much time thinking about it, hoping i was doing it right, and at night when he would bf I was up for hours sometimes and as much as I wanted to it was just to hard on me and in turn was causing me to not enjoy it as i should be.
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  #2  
September 17th, 2010, 10:04 PM
MotherFrog's Avatar lost in la la land
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: lost in Iowa
Posts: 6,537
Hun, he's happy, he's healthy and thriving, your a good mommy, don't be upset! You gave him a great start already, you should be proud you went as long as you did!
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  #3  
September 17th, 2010, 10:58 PM
lovely_serendipity's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Don't be sad...its more imortant that u do whatever it takes for you to enjoy ur LO and be as stress free as possible!!!!
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  #4  
September 18th, 2010, 12:02 AM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 10,797
That is almost exactly what happened with Beau. I gave him a bottle after he cried for hours with my breast in his mouth not nursing.

Except now I am up in the middle of the night... pumping.
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  #5  
September 18th, 2010, 02:32 AM
Justjessie's Avatar Really Just Angela
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,125
You will be MUCH happier...if it wasn't working out for your guys, so be it. And you will find that bottle time is bonding time, too. Bonding time is always better when everyone is smiling =)
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  #6  
September 18th, 2010, 05:33 AM
ginnkneephur's Avatar Rainbows and Sunshine
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,175
As long as you are feeding your baby be proud of yourself. So breastfeeding didn't work out... No big deal. You are doing what is best for the well being of you and your son.

When Zakk was supplementing I would still give him the bottle while we had skin to skin contact. See if that helps with you feeling like you are missing some kind of bond. Do NOT beat yourself up.
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  #7  
September 18th, 2010, 05:35 AM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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Location: The Midwest
Posts: 10,094
Don't beat yourself up over this decision. You have to do what's right for you and Baby Drake. Bottle feeding is bonding time too -- you're still spending time with him, you're still connecting with him. (((Hugs)))
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  #8  
September 18th, 2010, 06:34 AM
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I never felt less bonded with my first son who couldn't BF than I did with my second who did. In fact in some ways I think I paid more attention to my oldest when we bottle fed him pumped milk-the feedings were so short, I'd usually watch him while he at, while my BF kiddo took forever at first and I'd often just zonk out while he nursed or watched tv.

I think the whole bonding "argument" as a pro of BFing is a way to make moms feel bad.
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  #9  
September 18th, 2010, 06:41 AM
~SavedbyGrace~'s Avatar ~Nichole~
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicagolandish, Illinois
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I know exactly how you feel....I quit bfing and pumping after a 2 week cycle of non stop crying and feeling like a failure. BUT, I am so much happier now and so is Grace. I tried and so did you. That's all we can do! I blame this society for making us feel this way, the horrible guilt. (not jm, you guys are very supportive and ROCK) The nurses, the lactation consultant, even the freakin formula companies.....they all made me feel horrible. The good knews is your kiddo will be more than fine.....happy moms make happy babies!! That couldn't be more true!!

Don't beat yourself up hun, I did enough for the both of us!
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  #10  
September 18th, 2010, 07:12 AM
Lauraubie's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post

I think the whole bonding "argument" as a pro of BFing is a way to make moms feel bad.
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  #11  
September 18th, 2010, 07:43 AM
Angel_Maker
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Definitely don't feel bad hunnie....You are definitely not a bad mom because you're not BFing....like others have said, as long as Drake is eating and is healthy and happy, you are doing your job There's not doubt that you love him to pieces so don't you worry about what others think....

I'm sure that when FIGGY gets here and I'm out in public feeding him/her a bottle, I will get stares from people who think I'm a "bad mom" because I'm not BFing....but they won't know that I can't BF, and I definitely won't consider myself LESS of a mom because FIGGY is getting a bottle. KWIM?

Enjoy this time with your little man...he won't be little for very long, so just soak it all in
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  #12  
September 18th, 2010, 07:48 AM
ginnkneephur's Avatar Rainbows and Sunshine
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,175
People will always have something to say about how you feed your children. You get looks for bottlefeeding... then you get looks for breast feeding. You can't make everyone happy. You can make Drake happy and he is the most important.
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  #13  
September 18th, 2010, 09:13 AM
Frangipani's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: the lower 48
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Maker View Post
I'm sure that when FIGGY gets here and I'm out in public feeding him/her a bottle, I will get stares from people who think I'm a "bad mom" because I'm not BFing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ginnkneephur View Post
People will always have something to say about how you feed your children. You get looks for bottlefeeding... then you get looks for breast feeding. You can't make everyone happy. You can make Drake happy and he is the most important.
That's exactly what I was thinking. I remember reading this big debate online a few months back (not here on JM), it was an article about someone breastfeeding in public, with a cover on, and how inappropriate the writer felt that was. There were all sorts of responses in the comment section that were both pro and against this mother feeding her child in public. It's ridiculous!
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  #14  
September 18th, 2010, 09:18 AM
sassysarah's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Central Ohio
Posts: 5,523
Don't feel guilty for doing what is best for you and Drake. You can definately still bond with your baby over a bottle and this way DH and others will get to bond with him as well.
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  #15  
September 18th, 2010, 10:16 AM
Minilegs's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Kaia's Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Maker View Post
Definitely don't feel bad hunnie....You are definitely not a bad mom because you're not BFing....like others have said, as long as Drake is eating and is healthy and happy, you are doing your job There's not doubt that you love him to pieces so don't you worry about what others think....

I'm sure that when FIGGY gets here and I'm out in public feeding him/her a bottle, I will get stares from people who think I'm a "bad mom" because I'm not BFing....but they won't know that I can't BF, and I definitely won't consider myself LESS of a mom because FIGGY is getting a bottle. KWIM?

Enjoy this time with your little man...he won't be little for very long, so just soak it all in

Brandy-just a side note to say that adoptive moms can lactate and if you want to nurse your baby, you can. My friend nursed her twins this way. Sorry to butt in to the thread!
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