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Caleb Michael Holmes
Born: Tuesday, September 14, 2010
4:09am -- 8lbs 12oz -- 22in
My whole pregnancy I had no contractions at all and at my last two appointments I had only been a fingertip dilated. Since my mom flew in on the 10th we decided to try walking to progress dilation and hekp him drop. I never imagined it'd work out so well!
DH my mom and I took our dog out to the park and started walking and joking about my water breaking and DH about me hogging the baby We got 1/4 the way around the park and they asked if I felt anything and I said just like I might get my period. I blew it off as nothing because it was hardly noticeable. We got to the 1/2 mark and suddenly I felt warm liquid I had no control over. It just felt like I was peeing but it was SO MUCH and I just looked down and said "uh guys"! DH turned white as a ghost and my mom was so friggin excited she immediately started calling and texting family. DH ran to get the vehicle and we drove home dropped off the dog, changed, grabbed the bags and headed to L&D.
We got there at about 12pm and I was checked and told I was a 1 and he was stil pretty high up. The OB also said she felt the cord decending and if it continued to come down before his head it'd result in an immediate csection so I of course freak out a bit but only time could tell. They started me on pitocin at about 1pm because I wasnt getting consistent contractions. The nurse came and up-ed it every 30mins. I only made it 5hrs before requesting the epidural. (No clue how you super mommas can go without it!) After I got the epidural I was checked again and this time a 3. The rest is kind of a blur. I basically just sat there in bliss while the contractions got stronger. Then the epidural started to wear off a bit and I thought I would die from the pain. I asked for epidural guy to come back in and the nurse paged him but he took an hr to get back and during that hr I kept telling the nurse I felt like I needed to push and it was getting impossible to resist the urge. She didnt see how that could be because only an hr earlier I was at 6. But she called in the OB and she checked and said I was a 10 and she'd be back when baby was ready! At 1am I started pushing with breaks every now and then. Pushing was exhausting. I pushed for a good 3hrs off and on till he was born. That final push was amazing and by far the most beautiful part of delivery. The rush of love and emotion is so unreal and I cry every time I think about it.
Caleb was totally perfect and handed off to me after he got all his checks done. He was born so clean and pink! We got about an hr of alone time and then they came in to bathe him. The worst part of the experience was the pain afterwards. I had a pretty good size tear and could not stand up no matter how hard I tried. It took hours and lots of meds to get there.
DH helped me take a hot shower and I felt so refreshed! I was then moved to post partum and started nursing Caleb. It didnt go as easily as I imagined. My nipples and way short and he had trouble staying latched to them. But a nipple sheild solved all that!
Our stay was pretty uneventful and mellow. We got to go home Thursday afternoon and were told to come back the next day for a weight check. Caleb was down 13% Im not sure what he was at discharge but I felt like such a failure especially since my milk hadnt come in. But the nurse was super sweet and gave us some formula to syringe feed and was very encouraging about not giving up BF. So we were instructed to feed him with the syringe every 2hrs 1oz of formula. After each feeding I would pump that side for 10mins to see what I'd get and Im pretty sure it's milk! I never got the letdown feeling described though. My breast are definetly very sore and rock hard so maybe my milk has come in? Either way I saved the pumped bit to take to the nurse at todays (18th) weight check at 10am. Im praying that he's gained weight and my milk has actually come in so I can continue to BF alone. I really think he lost the weight because I wasnt feeding him enough. Id wait till he woke up and sometimes that'd be 3.5-4hrs I feel like such a bad mommy but Im glad the nurses are helping and hopefully I can continue BF and increase his weight by just feeding him more often.
In spite of our difficulties motherhood is absolutely amazing! I adore our little chunky monkey and DH is a godsend and my personal hero. I didn't think it possible to love that man anymore but seeing him with Caleb does it!
Please don't feel like you're being a bad mommy. I bet your milk has come in and that will make a big difference. The more you feed him, the more milk your body will produce, and the more he'll be able to eat.
I can't believe you pushed for 3 hours! Good for you!