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CIO...how to do it?


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  #1  
January 8th, 2011, 03:22 PM
croutonluver2's Avatar Veteran
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Ok, I was reading Kristin's post about Aly not sleeping, and that's just like Jon...I can usually get him down in his crib around 8:30-9:30 after nursing him to sleep, then he's up sometimes every 2 hours or so, and more recently, it's like everytime I put him into his crib, he wakes up and we start the process over. Half the time, in the middle of the night, when he starts his tantrum, I pick him up and we go out in the living room and camp out and he falls asleep next to me...although sometimes he plays and it's not real successful So for CIO...how do you handle you LO crying? I've done it for like 5 minutes and couldn't do it anymore. I know he needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own, but what if he doesn't stop crying? How do I know if something is really wrong? Also, at school, they can't get him to take naps, sometimes a 15 minute nap and that's it... so he should be good and tired, but it seems l ike he just doesn't need sleep Any advice or suggestions? Thanks
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  #2  
January 8th, 2011, 03:38 PM
Shantastic27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I don't have anything to say about CIO, but just wanted to offer support and hugs! Livi has been going through a nasty stage the last couple weeks with sleep, and I'm hoping she's coming back out of it now. But it's definitely hard when they're not sleeping well!

Also, Livi has NEVER napped for long periods of time. It took me awhile to accept the fact that she doesn't need as much sleep as I thought she did. Is Jon super cranky during the day when he doesn't nap, or does he act okay?
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  #3  
January 8th, 2011, 03:51 PM
AlexasMomma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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with alexa we put her in the crib and just let her cry IF she cries for 20-30 min I go in and rock her normally she will only do her "being murdered" cry for the first 10-15 min then she calms it to a whinny cry then she will am it up a little if she goes back to the "being murdered" cry it normally means she pooped but anyway after 20-30 min I go rock her for about 10-15 min so she can calm down a little and catch her breath then I will put her back in her crib and she is normally out within 30 min or at least has stopped cryin and is playin with her toys in the crib most of the time now though she is out before the first 30 min but if she has been cryin for about an hour and hasnt gone to slep I bring her out and just put her in her jumperoo and put on her dvd player so she "bores" herself after about 30 min- an hour of that I put her back in bed hope this helps if you have any questions feel free to write me hope he starts bein a better sleeper for ya alexa now sleeps from around 11 to midnight she goes to sleep and wont wake up till about 10:30am
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  #4  
January 8th, 2011, 04:24 PM
Racine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When we established Gavin's schedule using CIO, I set a timer for twenty minutes and turned the monitor on only enough to be able to see the lights going and not hear him crying. You want to monitor if he's still crying but it helps to not actually be able to hear it. If he were still crying after twenty minutes, I'd go in and hold him in his room just long enough to get him calmed down and then put him right back in. I'd repeat that process for up to an hour. I feel like it's really important for them to understand that nighttime is for sleeping, daytime is for playing. even if he did want to be up in the middle of the night, I would just hold him in a dark room and rock him or cuddle with him. He'd get bored and sleepy much sooner than if we were playing or talking and eventually figure out that fussing or screaming isn't going to get him anywhere.

IMO, as long as you know that all his needs are met and he's not in pain....there is nothing wrong with letting him cry. GL!
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  #5  
January 8th, 2011, 04:37 PM
Brannyt's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with Racine! I also want to add that you might need to tweak whatever you do based on his temperament. For example, Bryn tends to get PISSED if we go in to try and calm her, so I usually let her cry/fuss for up to 20 minutes like Racine does before deciding what to do. She also doesn't tolerate being picked up well. Most of the time, she will fuss for 10-15 minutes before falling asleep.

Definitely do the thing with the monitor. Hearing it is the worst and it will break you down. Just make sure he is fed and dry and seemingly tired. If you know he's teething, treat that as you normally would.

Stay strong mama! It can be hard, but teaching him to sleep on his own will be worth it for him and you in the end! Oh, we also do it for naps too. We started at night, and just kept on with it. However, if it doesn't seem to work as well during the day, do whatever you need to do to get him to sleep as he usually does during the day.

GL!
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  #6  
January 8th, 2011, 07:14 PM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I just started doing CIO on Thursday. We are having AWESOME results! I was spending 5 hours YES REALLY 5 hours a day rocking and patting Mason to sleep. He fights his sleep so bad. Then he got to where he was scratching, pinching and hitting on me the whole time I was rocking him. We saw the pedi on Monday and here's what he said to do:

Put him in his crib drowsy but awake and leave the room. If he's still crying in 5 minutes go in and check on him but don't talk to him and leave the room quickly. If he's still crying in 10 more minutes do the same. The next time wait 15 minutes. He said to follow this at nap time and bedtime.

I started it Thursday for the first nap of the day. Tonight he cried for 2 minutes and then rolled over and passed smooth out He's also sleeping all night again. He was waking up 2 and 3 times a night.
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  #7  
January 8th, 2011, 07:25 PM
Love_the_Shoes's Avatar Love my girls!!
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What happens if your baby gets so worked up they start to choke on their sobs and when you pick them up they seem to not be able to catch their breath?

This is what Alyssa does...she will cry for hours if we let her. I know this b/c that's what happened earlier this week. We had been up since 10 with her and I finally let her cry in her crib after making sure all her needs were meant..turned the monitor's sound off just like you are suppose to and b/c of pure exhaustion, accidently fell asleep..woke up an hour later and turned the monitor on and she was still going.

I was so angry that I fell asleep.

Stephanie, I'm glad to know Jon is just like Aly when it comes to hating the crib...and naps...and sleep in general.
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  #8  
January 8th, 2011, 07:31 PM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly? I tried CIO a month ago and Mason would honestly get completely TICKED off mad, screaming so I gave up and thought maybe he wasn't ready and it was something I'd have to deal with it. When we saw the pedi on Monday he urged me to try again and he said to be firm and stick with it and this time it's been pretty easy.
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  #9  
January 8th, 2011, 08:54 PM
Mommyof3Hoppers's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can't bear the CIO method. I want to use it so badly with Ben and have tried but he is very strong willed. The last time I tried it (and it was the last time I will ever try it again) I put him in his crib, kissed his head and told him it was bed time and walked out of the room. 2 minutes passed and his cry went from "where's my mommy" to "I am injured." I went back in his room with the light off and noticed his arm was "dark" and so was his mouth. I turned the light on and he was covered in blood. He had gotten so upset that he slammed the top of his gums on the crib rail and split his gums open. I felt terrible. I started crying and told my husband that CIO is not an option for him anymore.

Now I am reading the "No Cry Sleep Solution" instead. So far I am liking her methods. It takes some patience but she says if you follow her advice within 30-90 days your child should be sleeping like a champ and they don't have to go through the CIO at all. Maybe try to read this book too if CIO isn't working for you. Already Ben is napping during the day 2 times for a total of 2-4 hours. Before the book we were lucky to get an hour nap out of him! Just a thought! Good luck to you and what works for your family!

(I would just like to add that I am in no way judging any of you that use CIO, it just doesn't work for us!)
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  #10  
January 10th, 2011, 07:06 AM
J-V221's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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With Addisyn we use a pacifier... so I'm not sure if this will really help a lot of you ladies. But here goes......

When Addisyn needs a nap I let her finish a bottle and then lay her down in her crib; give her her lovie, paci, and blanket. I then turn on the sound machine to ocean noises and its constant noise with no timer for naps. If she cries I time her for 1 min, go back in and put the paci in and leave closing the door. She rarely does this anymore but if she continues I just continue to stand my ground by going back in at 1 min and putting the paci back in and leaving. She knows I'm there, but that she needs to take a nap.

At night I put on a different noise and it's timed for 15 mins and off the rest of the night. I did this so that she understands the difference as to why she's in her crib for a nap and for bedtime. I haven't had issues at all and I know everyones LO is different but I wanted to share! GL!
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  #11  
January 10th, 2011, 07:48 AM
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I use the CIO method with all three of my kids. The only thing with using it is that you and your baby need to be ready for it. It shouldn't take more than a few days for it to work. With Alex it took one day. With my older son it took 2 days. My dd always loved her sleep, so we didn't really have to use any method to get her to sleep. In my experience if they are doing the im being murdered scream then they prolly aren't ready. I didn't let my kids scream it out. If they fussed or cried that was fine. If they got really upset and started screaming then I went and got them. Also all kids sleep differently, so try not to expect your baby to do what everyone else's babies are doing. I never read a book, or anything about CIO. I just did what felt right to me. That is the best advice I could give you is do what feels right to you. If you think that he has been crying for to long, or to hard then go get him. Just follow your instincts. I think that is the best way to do CIO is to follow your instincts.
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  #12  
January 10th, 2011, 08:36 AM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We did it for Jed - but of course modified it for what works for us. I set the timer for 5 minutes and then went in and put the binky in his mouth and rubbed his back until he was calm. Then I left. It took a few days.

I'm not sure what you do if they are screaming bloody murder? You might ask your pedi? Maybe you need to set the timer for a shorter interval so that you go in and calm them when they are crying but not screaming?

There are lots of different books out there but you have to just find what works for you and your family!
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  #13  
January 10th, 2011, 09:17 AM
JaxonsMom2010's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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CIO doesn't work for us, so I have no advice. I just wanted to offer some HUGS!
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  #14  
January 10th, 2011, 07:07 PM
renee4152's Avatar Proud Mommy of 2!
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We did the same thing Amanda's pedi said and it worked great for us. Once it got to the point where he was tired, but wouldn't let us rock him to sleep, we knew it was time.
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  #15  
January 10th, 2011, 07:25 PM
jen*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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ugh - it sucks, doesn't it? We had a good thing going for a while, but then Archie was sick, got a ton of teeth all at once, and he was back to waking more frequently. Just last weekend we let Arch CIO and the first night was painful. He cried for about 40 mins as I stood up in the kitchen alternating pacing and stopping to work on seating charts. Finally he fell asleep on his own. The next night it was 20 mins. Since then, nothing. I rock him for 5-10 mins before putting him in his crib on his belly. Then I leave and usually he is either asleep or very close to it. If he wakes within the next few hrs, we let him cry and it is usually for just a few mins and then he is back to sleep for the night. I need to move in the direction of putting him in his crib more awake, but I think we are working toward it and I'm fine with how things are right now. Actually, tonight he was super fussy while I was rocking him, so he calmed a bit and I put him in his crib. He started crying harder, but I left the room and within 4 or 5 minutes he was out. Our dog opened his door later (she always likes to check on the kids!) and so I got to peek in and see his snoozin' away!

Both of my boys get/got more angry if we went in and tried to soothe them without picking them up, so that is why we opted to just close the door and wait it out. It sucks, but Jack (my almost 3 yr old!) is a great sleeper and I think what we did helped to make him that way.

Good luck to you. It's so hard. Don't you wish they had a "sleep" button like a computer?

Do you have a video monitor? We don't for Arch, but we do for Jack, but that might give you more peace of mind so that you can check in without your LO knowing? IDK - just a thought. I was going to move Jack's monitor into Archie's room for a while if CIO took longer.

Good luck!
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  #16  
January 10th, 2011, 07:36 PM
lauriebeth's Avatar mommy to Riley Grace
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We used CIO a couple times with Riley, and since then, we've had no problems getting her to take naps or to go to sleep at night. I honestly don't remember what we did, exactly, but just wanted to offer hugs and let you know that the results are awesome and fast. It's so hard to listen to the cries, but when you know sleep is what's best for them, it makes it easier to do it. You know 2 days of crying (or 3 or 4) is better than weeks, months, or years of sleepless nights.
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  #17  
January 12th, 2011, 06:10 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Racine View Post
When we established Gavin's schedule using CIO, I set a timer for twenty minutes and turned the monitor on only enough to be able to see the lights going and not hear him crying. You want to monitor if he's still crying but it helps to not actually be able to hear it. If he were still crying after twenty minutes, I'd go in and hold him in his room just long enough to get him calmed down and then put him right back in. I'd repeat that process for up to an hour. I feel like it's really important for them to understand that nighttime is for sleeping, daytime is for playing. even if he did want to be up in the middle of the night, I would just hold him in a dark room and rock him or cuddle with him. He'd get bored and sleepy much sooner than if we were playing or talking and eventually figure out that fussing or screaming isn't going to get him anywhere.

IMO, as long as you know that all his needs are met and he's not in pain....there is nothing wrong with letting him cry. GL!
That's exactly what we did, but we started with about 5 minutes and worked our way up. I'd go peak in her room when her cries got louder, but I'd try not to let her see me if possible. I only go in about every 15-20 minutes now that she's older and pat her back or pick her up so she knows I'm there, but she had to learn that when she's tired, it's time to sleep. I rarely ever have to go in anymore, I know the difference when she's just whining and usually right about the time I'm ready to give up and go settle her and start the cycle over again, I've noticed if I let her ''peak'' pass, she usually puts herself right to sleep, as soon as she's gotten that last good cry in and knows she's not going to get her way, she gives up trying to fight it and goes to sleep. Otherwise, she'd get overtired and then the cycle gets worst and then not want to sleep at all. You'd think the more tired they are, the better they would sleep, but for some reason it's the total opposite.

And yes, it is hard, especially the first few times you'll try it, and it will seem next to impossible, but if you're consistent, I'd think that within a week you should see a big difference. I agree with Racine that sometimes the best thing to do is make sure you can hear him if he screams like he's hurt or something so you can go peak in, but it's best not to be able to hear every single whine, or else you tend to focus on that and 5 minutes feels like forever. I usually start a chore and tell myself not to go check on her unless she's still crying when I'm done, and then by the time the dishwasher is unloaded or the laundry has been switched over, she's sound asleep. It'll probably take a while and might be tougher since he's older now, but eventually I bet he will barely cry at all when you put him down. Melodie rarely fusses at bedtime and usually if she fusses for a max of 5 minutes when it's time for a nap, that's it.

I know I'm late with posting this, so I was wondering how have things been the past few days?
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