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Time is going TOO fast This morning, I kind of freaked out a little. Just YESTERDAY, I swear, Logan turned 9 months old. I look at my ticker, and he is already on his way to 9 1/2 months! That means that I barely have 2 1/2 months of maternity leave left. Time is suddenly moving a break neck speed and it does not feel good
I feel like I spent a lot of his first few months completely swamped and overwhelmed (and scared about his weight for his entire first month) and it was all a blur. Now, I'm hyper aware of him and how amazing it is to be his mommy and how much I love spending every day with him (not that I didn't before, but now that I feel confident and capable, I can enjoy it so much more, kwim?), and I feel like I woke up to that just in time for my time to run out. Well, maybe at 6 months, but once I hit that mark, I feel like a clock inside of my head started ticking really loudly as my time at home ran out.
We are hoping that I will be able to go back just part time, but I have no idea how feasible that plan will turn out being. J and I need to go over our budget again this afternoon so I can feel more confident or just accept that I am going back full time. I would love to be a SAHM full time, but with J still in school, we can't quite afford it yet. It doesn't help that these last months won't even be spent just with Logan...as of February, I have to start looking for a job. The position that my employer is holding for me is a full time one, and not one that I enjoy, so I can't imagine doing it long term. That means that I have to find child care for Logan, and that is a whole other issue (which I am posting about in the Umbrella in just a sec).
Of course, I want him to grow up and I want to enjoy this journey with him. But right now, I just really, really, really, really, really want time to SLOW down, kpleasethnx?!!!!!!
Ugh, I just needed to vent and cry about it to people that would understand
Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009
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Going back to work is difficult. It's a HUGE transition. You, Logan, and J will get through it and will readjust. One thing I always try and remember is that it's the quality of time spent, not the quantity.
Thanks for my gorgeous siggy, Jaidynsmum!!!
I wish someone would have REALLY told me to stop all the worrying and focus on just holding Aly--I also worried all the time when she was first born and now I will never get those moments back. Everyone just told you the generic lines "sleep when they sleep" or "don't focus too much on cleaning"--but they never actually TOLD you how it would be--how at 9 months Aly is too big/tall to craddle and rock and she hates sleep so I can't just hold her in my arms and sleep with her.
It's going by too fast and makes me sad too. I hope you can work P/T--working sucks but you can do it...just focus on these last couple months and stock up on picture frames--maybe invest in a digital frame that can even play video so you can plug your headphones into it and listen to Logan laugh while at work.
~*~*~ Kristin--mama to two fabulous and fierce beauties--Aly and Natalie*~*~