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questions about early potty training


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  #1  
January 11th, 2011, 07:29 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Ok, so I'm trying to figure out how early is too early?

I am a big believer that every child is ready for different things at different times, so unless they are ever given the opportunity, they\you will never know what a they are capable of or interested in trying at different ages. For example, Melodie is 9.5 months old and is a totally independent eater already and has been for a while. Of course I cut up her food and give her pieces on her highchair tray and control what she eats and everything, but she picks everything up on her own and uses her sippy cup by herself. She's been drinking her bottles on her own for months already. She can even drink from a real cup extremely well (I just leave a sip in the bottom so she can't spill it all on her face ) by herself and LOVES real cups and glasses now, so she'll probably want to start using big kid cups early also. Of course I still enjoy giving her a bottle a cuddling up from time to time, but for the most part, she eats with us and tries her best to be like mommy and daddy and eat her own food, on her own plate, by herself.

Ok, so enough about eating and back to the topic...

I basically was planning on giving her the opportunity to play with the potty around her first birthday. She crawls to the bathroom when I'm in there and I think she's already starting to be curious about what that big white thing does, other than make a loud sound when water comes rushing in. I was thinking of buying the 3 in 1 potties that work as a step stool (I'm thinking for her birthday) for brushing their teeth and washing their hands, etc. I was planning on showing her when I go to the bathroom, that she can sit on her potty like mommy does, and hopefully when she's ready, she'll start asking to go to the potty on her own. I'm don't plan on pushing the potty on her, since I know that will just make her hate it, I just want her to get used to the idea of what it is and what it does so that when she is ready, it won't be new to her. Of course, this is in the hopes that it will help to potty train her early, but I know that babies don't have control over their bodily functions and until she does, it's basically useless to expect anything in the potty training area.

I guess I'm just looking for opinions from you ladies and ideas and advice from BTDT moms on how and when you started the potty training adventure with your little ones? What signs do you watch out for to know when they are ready to at least start introducing them to the idea? What's everyone else planning on doing?
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  #2  
January 11th, 2011, 07:45 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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I know there are some people who follow EC (elimination communication) where they watch for potty signs and take their baby to the potty. I've never tried it, but that is probably what you could start with at this point. I think it's probably too early to try traditional potty training with her.

With Lily, we introduced a little potty chair around 20 months. Her wet diapers were fewer and in longer stretches. Pooping was pretty consistent. You want them to have an awareness of either being wet/dirty or understanding the sensation that they need to go potty. We put it in the family room and encouraged her to sit on it once a day while watching a favorite cartoon. Sometimes she peed and sometimes she didn't but we praised her for trying anyway. About a month before Abri was born she refused to sit on it or the big potty. It wasn't worth the fight at 8 months preggo so I just let it go. Two months later she asked to wear panties and to use the potty. Simple as that. We took her to the potty often and put her in clothes that made it easy for her to pull off.
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  #3  
January 11th, 2011, 08:37 AM
ChrissySTL's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I hadn't thought about this yet! I have heard boys usually potty train later than girls but who knows if there is any truth to that. I have a co-worker who tried potty training her little girl (just turned 2 in Nov) and realized after a few weeks it was too early. She is going to try again this summer when she is off work and her LO will be 2.5. I agree it is probably different for everyone but I think I plan to be more lax about it and just follow Chse's lead. When he's ready and becomes curious about it I'll start there.
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  #4  
January 11th, 2011, 09:26 AM
DondraB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We started working with Kinley when she was around 2...she didn't want anything to do with the potty. Then we tried again at 2.5....she did pretty well for a little while, then Karsyn came along and she totally reverted back to only going in her diaper. So we didn't push it since we had a new baby at home. We tried again at 3 (just a few months ago) with pull ups--she would go in them still..but we would work with her trying to get her to tell us when she needed to go. She did really well with pooping in the potty but not peeing at first. When she started preschool in August (right after she turned 3) we put her in pull ups and she did really well at school...then about 2 months ago we put her in panties full time and she's only had one accident.

Everyone is different---but Kinley has never cared if there was poop/pee in her diaper--she would go all day with a dirty diaper if I let her. Karsyn is the same way--dirty diapers don't phase her! My mom said she tried with me and my sister around age 2 and we didnt have any interest until after we were 3. With my youngest sister, she started potty training at 3 and she never had an accident. The majority of people I've talked to with kids Kinley's age said it was around 3 when they finally were fully potty trained with no accidents. She still wears diapers at night for any accidents--she might wake up once a week with a dry diaper, but she hasn't mastered waking up to go potty. There are a few kids in her preschool (for age 3) that still wear a diaper to school (of course some still have a bottle and paci too!!) so I don't worry about sending her in pull ups-just in case she forgets to go! lol
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  #5  
January 11th, 2011, 09:27 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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I agree with following your child's lead, especially with things like potty training. We got Kaija her potty at 18 months and started introducing it. We'd have her sit on it at bath time and before bed. She rarely actually went, but like Courtney we praised her trying. I wanted to have her done by the time Kolbie was born, but that didn't happen. Last summer we started doing naked time and put her potty in the family room so she could easily access it and it took a few week and peeing on the couch, but eventually she caught on. By August or September she was full-time peeing on the big potty and refusing her little potty, but she would not poop on the potty, at all. She was even night time trained. Then in November something flipped and she regressed big time. Only in the past 2-3 weeks has she been back in underwear during the day and FINALLY yesterday pooped in the potty. She'll be 3 tomorrow... So yeah, I do believe it all depends on the kid!
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  #6  
January 11th, 2011, 09:35 AM
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I have no advice and have been wondering the same thing so thanks for posing the question! All the girls in my family have been potty trained around 1 year old so I was thinking of starting to put Ro there after she starts walking...She also is very curious about the potty and follows me to the restroom. I don't see any harm in putting them on the potty, not sure how it would make them hate it but to each their own! I figured it might be easier if it's more routine just like everything else but I guess I'll find out when I try.
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  #7  
January 11th, 2011, 09:38 AM
DondraB's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We also tried a sticker chart....everytime she went on the potty she got to put a sticker on the chart, and 2 if she pooped. It helped a little then she didn't care about it anymore lol
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  #8  
January 11th, 2011, 10:11 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DancingGummyBear View Post
I have no advice and have been wondering the same thing so thanks for posing the question! All the girls in my family have been potty trained around 1 year old so I was thinking of starting to put Ro there after she starts walking...She also is very curious about the potty and follows me to the restroom. I don't see any harm in putting them on the potty, not sure how it would make them hate it but to each their own! I figured it might be easier if it's more routine just like everything else but I guess I'll find out when I try.
Definitely no harm in trying even before showing major signs of readiness, but some children are so stubborn that they will refuse to go to the bathroom at the mere mention of the potty. My niece used to hold her poop for over a week because she didn't want to sit on the potty when my sister made her. Of course that ended in constipation and pain for her so she then associated the potty with pain. It took my sister over a year to potty train her for daytime. It turned into screaming matches for them.
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  #9  
January 11th, 2011, 11:07 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for sharing your stories ladies! Yeah, Courtney, the situation you just described is exactly what I want to avoid, so I guess that's why I was wondering if there is such a thing as too early. I don't want her to think I'm putting pressure on her to ''perform'' , for lack of a better word! I just sort of want to see if she wants to sit on it when I go to the bathroom, and then go from there and let her decide when she actually wants to start trying to use it for it's real use. It's not because I want her to learn early or because I hate diapers or anything (I DO hate diaper changes, but that's not my motivation ), I was just wondering since she already seems curious about it. My friend has a 2.5 year old and she still wears pull-ups and has good days and bad days, I don't see anything wrong with that...they're just kids!
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  #10  
January 11th, 2011, 11:28 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by corny7474 View Post
Definitely no harm in trying even before showing major signs of readiness, but some children are so stubborn that they will refuse to go to the bathroom at the mere mention of the potty. My niece used to hold her poop for over a week because she didn't want to sit on the potty when my sister made her. Of course that ended in constipation and pain for her so she then associated the potty with pain. It took my sister over a year to potty train her for daytime. It turned into screaming matches for them.
lol Exactly what I was kind of thinking by going a bit early...before she realizes she has that option maybe? I do have a stubborn child but I think by showing her early that this is just another way for her to be more independent (Which she prefers more than anything) it will really be helpful for all of us. I do have motivation since 1. I absolutely hate diaper changes 2. SHE absolutely hates diaper changes even more than I do.
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  #11  
January 11th, 2011, 01:27 PM
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We introduced the potty to Lily at around a year old. We'd put her on it before bath time and after she woke up in the morning and from naps. She started peeing on it pretty quickly, but she didn't ask to use it and was still in diapers. At 17.5 months she was staying dry for over 3 hours, knew when her diaper was wet/dirty, and was staying dry overnight most nights. All of those are major signs of being ready to potty train. So I bought her underwear and put her in them. We had a handful of accidents but she freaked out whenever she had one because Lily hates being dirty. So it took her about 3 days to potty train.

She regressed for about 2 weeks when Vi was born and DH was mainly watching Lily. But then she got right back into everything and is fully trained. The only time she has an accident now is when she has a night terror she will sometimes pee because she's so freaked out. But that's pretty rare, like 2x in the last 6 months.

Lily goes on the regular toilet now and I sit Vi on the little potty before bath time and she'll pee in it. I'll probably start potty training at around 17.5/18 months with her as well. But until then I'm getting her used to the potty and she likes to pee on it.

We don't do pull-ups, we just went straight to panties.

Almost everyone on the Asian side of my family potty trains fairly young and most are potty trained before age 2. The Caucasian side of my family trains later and follows the norm for America, which is now an average age of about 3 for potty training. Large parts of the world don't even have diapers and they just learn to read the baby for potty cues (red face, etc) and hold them over a hole/dirt/etc. Americans call that "elimination communication" and some people will read the cues and then hold the baby over the toilet and not use diapers. It takes a lot of work and time though to learn the cues and everything.
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  #12  
January 11th, 2011, 02:02 PM
Katie81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Honestly, we didn't attempt to train Lily early at all. She was at my parents' house 40 hours a week and they had no desire to deal with accidents and pee on their furniture so what was the point of trying to train her on the weekends. When she was 34 months old she started preschool/daycare and they trained her in 3 weeks. We just sent her in underwear and they took care of everything. She never regressed and was night trained about two months later. For us waiting until she was a little older worked out fine. We knew we wouldn't have another baby is diapers for a few years so we weren't in a rush.
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  #13  
January 11th, 2011, 02:57 PM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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With DD I tried twice when she was two and she just wasn't getting it. Then when she was 3 1/2 MIL tried it again with her and she picked it up and was completely trained in a week.
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  #14  
January 11th, 2011, 03:26 PM
Tiny Loves
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ECing is a GREAT help for potty training. Mr. Man goes a few times a week in the potty. (pooping) He poops right at the same time and has his own little routine. It doesn't work everyday, but when he was younger it worked better. Now he gets distracted and wants to play instead.
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  #15  
January 11th, 2011, 03:30 PM
JaxonsMom2010's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Amanda C View Post
With DD I tried twice when she was two and she just wasn't getting it. Then when she was 3 1/2 MIL tried it again with her and she picked it up and was completely trained in a week.
My dd was the same way.

I go with the child led approach and did things very similarly to Mylene and Courtney. I bought a training potty for my oldest at about 18 months and just had it in the bathroom. We would allow him to come in and "watch/see" us go.
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  #16  
January 12th, 2011, 04:29 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks for all the info and advice ladies! That's just another reason why I love you all so much, you're always full of useful knowledge!

I will definitely start looking up EC, it looks really interesting and like it could help enormously when the time comes so I should start reading up on that soon. Shelley, thanks so much for your post! That's basically what we hope to do with Melodie. I find it fascinating to see the difference culturally too, from both sides of your family. I had also read that American culture tends to potty train later than many other cultures, so I'm thinking if we don't pressure her, she'll hopefully become self-motivated to try even though she might not be fully ready at first. That way I figure as soon as she does get it and is able to understand that she has to go, she'll already know what to do, instead of only starting to introduce the concept when she shows physical signs of being ready (staying dry longer, staying dry overnight, etc. like you mentioned) to start the mental process of ''getting to know the potty''. Probably bedtime and early morning would be best because she'll be going to daycare or a sitters in a few months during the day, so we'll start there.
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