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Now that you're a mom, does any of your own mom's parenting shock you?


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
January 14th, 2011, 08:56 PM
krissy1989's Avatar is loving her two boys!
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I think about how much freedom---dangerous freedom---I had as a child, and I cringe at the thought of letting Caleb do HALF the things that I did! My mom is an AWESOME mom, and an awesome grandmother. But I'm starting to think that she unnecessarily risked our lives more than once!

For instance, when we lived in the boonies, I would run off into the woods for HOURS without once being able to get checked in on, and I'd probably be a mile from home, surrounded by trees. I could have fallen into an abandoned mine, gotten bitten by a copperhead, mauled by a black bear, impaled by a broken stick if I fell off a ledge, etc, etc, ETC! You get the point. LOL. How did my mom not drive herself insane with worry?!?! WAS she worried?? She has her faith, sure, but that's no excuse to let your 9-year-old daughter run off UNSUPERVISED, without a cellphone, into the woods. I mean, if I'd had to call for help, no one would have heard me.

There are at LEAST a hundred other scenarios that I lived through as a child with my three siblings, like not being made to wear our seat belts, but I won't get into any more! All I have to say is that my mom's past parenting SHOCKS me!
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  #2  
January 14th, 2011, 09:01 PM
sandpaper06's Avatar Mom of 3 darlings
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Times were certainly different. The only thing that really shocks me are the times that I would be home from school sick and my mom would still go into work. I was no more than 8 when these things would happen. Granted, she worked about 6 minutes from home and called every couple of hours, but still. Your first or second grader home alone, sick? I don't get it.

My mom is fantastic and still takes great care of me. Too good of care sometimes, so I don't think she was a bad parent, but times were different and you didn't have to worry as much then. Or at least, parents didn't worry as much then.
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  #3  
January 14th, 2011, 09:02 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think we have to remember thought that times change so much...when I was a kid, I was totally allowed to ride my bike all around our neighborhood and even walk to the local gas station/conveinent store to get some candy with my friends...I checked in once in a while but pretty much had free reign of the neighborhood. That's something I could never let my kids do today but back then, it was pretty norm for all the kids...
Plus I think that when while our babies are babies its tough to imagine letting them out of our sights!

My mom has changed so much since we were kids. She used to be a pretty normal mom but since my dad left her ten years ago, she's turned into a 14 year old in a 56 year old's body. She is shockingly immature sometimes. But she LOVES her family and is my kids LOVE her a lot. It's sort of weird though. More like having a friend who is real bossy than a mom.
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  #4  
January 14th, 2011, 09:13 PM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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I'd say my mom was a pretty good mom, but like Angela said, times are much different now. I'd leave on my bike at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, come home for lunch, go back out and come home for dinner. I was probably 10 and just out riding around town. I'd NEVER let my kids do that, even in the small town I grew up in.
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  #5  
January 14th, 2011, 09:22 PM
sandpaper06's Avatar Mom of 3 darlings
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Angela took the words out of my mouth. That was the point I was trying to make in my post about times being different.
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  #6  
January 14th, 2011, 10:00 PM
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My mom was not a great mom. She gave custody to my dad when they divorced and I was a year old, my sister was almost 3. So he really raised us (minus every other weekend and holiday with her) until he died when I was 9. At that point we moved in with my mom but she wasn't used to kids. She's a very emotionally sparse person and I can't remember her hugging/kissing me, etc. She is a "buy love" person, so she thinks if she spends enough money then that equals love.

She lives with us now and she's a better grandmother, but she prefers Lily over Vi and it's obvious. She likes that Lily can communicate with her now. And she used to let me run all around with no curfew, etc. I didn't have any structure at all. I'll definitely be different.
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  #7  
January 14th, 2011, 10:14 PM
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My childhood was far from nice. Thats all I'll say, as this isnt a private board.
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  #8  
January 14th, 2011, 11:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mylene169 View Post
I'd say my mom was a pretty good mom, but like Angela said, times are much different now. I'd leave on my bike at 10 a.m. on a Saturday, come home for lunch, go back out and come home for dinner. I was probably 10 and just out riding around town. I'd NEVER let my kids do that, even in the small town I grew up in.
This is pretty much me too! We had a group of kids in our neighbourhood and we would just ride our bikes all over the place! It makes me sad that my kids will never do that...but like everyone else said, times are different now.
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  #9  
January 15th, 2011, 06:00 AM
Racine's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Haha! Yeah, my mom was never like that....If I were outside playing with the neighbor kids, I couldn't be more than three houses away and I had to check in every hour. Bike rides around the block had to be approved, as well. We lived in an extremely safe upper-middle class suburban neighborhood and knew all our neighbors, so don't ask me why...I guess I was just the baby of the family and my mom was extremely overprotective. She still is...when I leave their house she always wants me to call her when I get home. Drives me nuts sometimes but I'm glad she cares that much.

Shelley and Beth, I am sorry you don't have a great relationship with your moms. That would be really hard. My mom and I have our moments for sure, but she is an incredible mom and I would be lost if I didn't have her...so I can only imagine what it must be like for you guys
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Last edited by Racine; January 15th, 2011 at 06:04 AM.
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  #10  
January 15th, 2011, 06:34 AM
sweatshirtgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
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My mom was great, but yes, times were different. I was also allowed to play in the woods behind my house and she' come out and yell for dinner, or when it got dark, I had to come home. I was always with my friends but still. And we were pretty young too. My Dad was the overprotective one, especially once his Dad passed away when I was 10. My Dad was so afraid it would happen to one of us and basically wouldn't let us out of his sight.

My oldest is almost 8 and I have *just* started letting her go to the bathroom by herself in the local restaurant that we go to all the time. That's about the only time I let her out of my sight in public! I'd go in with her, but if DH takes her (usually while we are eating) he can stand outside the ladies room instead of taking them in the mens room. I have a feeling I'm gonna be just like my Dad!
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  #11  
January 15th, 2011, 09:24 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Yeah, my mom gave us a LOT of freedom, especially as teenagers. And she still doesn't know HALF of what I did with that freedom! But honestly, she was a pretty awesome mom overall, and we were good kids and had great grades and held jobs even though we were both at the tp of our class, so I guess overall, I hope to be a lot like her, maybe minus the no curfew.

The main thing I really hope I will do differently is teach my children about healthy choices when it comes to food. I was a chubby kid and was teased a lot when I was younger because I was the chubbiest girl in class, and since I was so smart, a lot of kids were jealous of the attention I got from teachers, so they picked on me because of my weight. I've worked extremely hard in my life as an adult to make changes in what I eat so that I can be as healthy as possible, but I still struggle with my weight and went through a lot to have a healthy body image regardless of never being any smaller than a size 11, at best. I won't raise my kids on hot dogs, pepsi and kraft dinner like she did (BUT I know money was a huge factor too, since my mom raised us completely on her own with no help financially).
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  #12  
January 15th, 2011, 09:42 AM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well you guys know from reading my posts in the private forum that most of my mom's parenting is shocking!

I'm glad I learned from it though can do better than that.
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  #13  
January 15th, 2011, 03:13 PM
becker206's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have thought about this often. Times have really changed, but my mom and I definitely have completely different parenting styles. I am certainly a lot more careful, cautious and health conscious.
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  #14  
January 15th, 2011, 04:17 PM
Shea131's Avatar Peyton Rylee's Mommy!!
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My momwas and is great! I look up to her for a lot and don't see me raising peyton a whole lot different then she raised me! I am very lucky!
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  #15  
January 15th, 2011, 04:42 PM
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I dont judge my parents at all - i mean times were different and all the stuff we did was "okay" back then... but yeah i was in the club where we would ride our bikes all over while my mom was at work. I had an older sister, so that made it a little better... and I had to call and check in throughout the day... and most of the day (during the summer) i was at the pool where our friends mom worked anyway but going to and from she really had no idea what we were doing.

And i also just thought of another one bec/ dh and i were looking at cars. When i was little we had a big black hightop van with a backseat the folded down into a bed. When we were little and we went on trips and stuff we just slept on there and were obviously not seatbelted in... that would never happen now and besides, carseat laws are so different while i was doing that then i would have still be in a booster now
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