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Now that i'm not fuming quite as much... (vent)


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
January 23rd, 2011, 07:30 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I thought i'd post about Camden's doctor appointment. I don't feel like writing everything that was said because there was A LOT!! But pretty much he gained 1 pound since last month. I'm happy about the pound gained and know he's healthy and thriving. He is soooooo stinkin' active and is crawling everywhere in our house. He is a very happy and content baby (everyone comments on that). So at first his doctor made it sound like she felt he was doing fine but then she starts saying how he needs more calories because he's underweight. She showed me the growth chart and showed me where he was and said she had wanted him to be up on the "average line". I felt irritated because what more does this lady want? He's gaining weight and yes he went over a month and didn't gain anything and that's why he's under the average but for the past almost 2 months he's gaining 4 oz. a week on average and i seriously feed him as much as i can. He gets distracted a lot but i can't blame him because he just likes to play and is interested in everything around him. Normal! I said "he would've had to gain at least 2 pounds in one month to be on that line" and she said "yes"... i just feel like it is unrealistic and don't understand why she cares so darn much about him being there. Yeah he's smaller than most babies his age (15 lbs. 6 oz.) but there are ZERO signs of him not doing well. I was honest and told her "to be honest i'm not concerned about it" and she interrupted midsentence and said "i can see you're not concerned. Why aren't you? Eventually you'll have to start listening to professionals and not just keep refusing to do everything we advise you to." She lectured me like I was a bad parent... seriously!?! I do sooooo much and am not one who is just uninformed. Sorry i don't just do everything the doctor tells me. I research a lot and ask at least a few different sources (like the nurse AND lactation consultant i see weekly). I asked her "what advice have i not followed?" and she told me that i refused to give him formula. Well no that's not true. I didn't want to give him formula but tried it and he hated it and refused it so i give him extra breastmilk because he'll eat it. She tried to tell me after that i'm not doing anything wrong even though she clearly thought i was. I asked her WHY she's so concerned and she talked about him being behind in the future and said that you wouldn't be able to tell now but it's the future she's thinking of and trying to prevent things. Seriously, that does not make sense. Grrrrrrr.... Anyway, i then decided to find a different doctor at a whole different practice because clearly she was never going to be satisfied with his weight or think i'm doing a good job. I'm fine with a doctor who is concerned, but if they are then they should talk to me calmly like they are on my side, not against me or talking down to me. I already stress easily over things and am trying my hardest to not do so now. Okay vent over. Thanks for listening ladies.
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  #2  
January 23rd, 2011, 07:37 PM
krissy1989's Avatar is loving her two boys!
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UGH!! That would totally pee me off, too!!!! I'm glad you're finding a different doctor. It doesn't make sense to me that she's not happy simply because he's not on some made-up line that's based on what other babies weigh. Doctors can be blinded by their statistics and charts, I think. They look at a line, and they say, "Why isn't he on that line?" as if he's not an individual with individual needs and developments. Every human is different---some are small, some are big, and some are average. I went to school with these twin athletes who couldn't have weighed more than 70 lbs in their freshman year of high school, and who barely made five feet tall. They were exceptionally healthy, though, even if they weren't average height and weight. So, all I'm saying is, unless Camden is showing some sort of developmental delay due to his below-average height and weight, then it's not something to worry about. You ARE a great mom, and he's been gaining weight really well it seems, based on HIS personal growth curve. WTG, Mama!!
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  #3  
January 23rd, 2011, 08:45 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OMG Krista!!!! I'm pi**ed off FOR you! Find a different doc and FAST. Interestingly, we had an issue at Mia's appt because she has only gained one pound since September (and I agree and am concerned about also). But the doc DID tell me that they gain a lot up to about six months but that AFTER six months of age its normal for them to slow down and at that point gaining about one pound per month is normal. So it seems like Camden is doing fine in that regard.
Sounds like maybe you have one of those docs who thinks that if you don't listen to her every word without question then you must be a bad parent. If I were you, I'd find someone who views her role as your child's doc as a partnership between you and her and not a dictatorship in which you obediently do as she says.
Sounds like Camden is doing awesome!
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  #4  
January 23rd, 2011, 08:54 PM
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I would be so furious as well! Gaining one pound in a month is awesome! It's totally normal for BF babies to slow down growth, even if they were already small, after about 6 months. That pedi doesn't seem like she knows a lot about babies that are BF and she seems to expect strange things. There are other charts for BF babies (Baby Boy BF chart) and for being 9 months he is not the lowest on the chart at all.

Plus, there's a myriad of other factors, including your size, his father's size, if he's meeting milestones, etc that need to be looked at before even showing concern. He's been around the same percentiles since birth, right? So he's staying consistent. You just don't want to see a drop from the 90th percentile to the 20th percentile all of a sudden, which isn't the case here.

I'm fuming for you! I hope you can find a much better, and more compassionate, doctor!
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  #5  
January 23rd, 2011, 09:03 PM
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UGH! Find a new doctor and fast! Seems like she is inserting her own BELIEFS onto your child rather then fact. He's growing, he's healthy, and good for your child not taking formula just to shut the cow up!
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  #6  
January 24th, 2011, 04:35 AM
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I was going to suggest getting a second opinion. I am glad you are switching b/c not every baby is going to be at that average line. I wished you lived near me. You could see my Dr and you would be happy with him. He would even give Camden a new book to read It sounds like you have done everything! even trying to give him formula! At this age they are going to start to slow the weight gain b/c of how active they are. Sounds like your Dr would just never be happy. Hugs. You go girl!
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  #7  
January 24th, 2011, 04:40 AM
Amanda C's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((HUGS)) That is simply not true. Him being small now will not in any way affect him negatively in the future. You definitely need to find a new doctor hun. There's no need in putting up with someone that's not 100% behind you.
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  #8  
January 24th, 2011, 05:57 AM
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That is ridiculous. I am glad you haven't let this shake your confidence at all, you are doing a fantastic job. I wish doctors were better at acting like we hire them to work for us; rather than playing God. I hope you're able to find a pedi who is better at listening, and not judging.
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  #9  
January 24th, 2011, 08:07 AM
TettymuhBear's Avatar Brandi
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HELLO!!!! That is the line for what is AVERAGE--as in NOT the minimum!! The only way they get an "average" weight per age is because babies fall above AND below that line all the time. If all babies were at or above the average then it wouldn't BE the average anymore!! Good grief--i'd find a new Doc ASAP too!
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  #10  
January 24th, 2011, 08:53 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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^^ What she said! I'd be fuming too
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  #11  
January 24th, 2011, 08:58 AM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm glad that you are looking for a new doctor. You don't need me to tell you this, but you are doing a fantastic job, and Camden is perfect!

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  #12  
January 24th, 2011, 09:07 AM
becker206's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow that's terrible! I'm so sorry you were treated with disrespect.. Glad you are finding a new doctor!
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  #13  
January 24th, 2011, 09:23 AM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks for the support. When Cam was little he was around the 25-30% so he did drop as he got older. I was concerned when he wasn't gaining and understand that's not good but i don't see how they are still so worried now that he's back on track. The thing is i just recently switched doctors because the last one was saying similar things to me (and she gave Cam the flu shot without my permission.) I now realize my mistake is that i switched to a doctor in the same clinic so i feel it wasn't REALLY a second opinion, ya know? I didn't realize how similar their views would be. I swear it was like i didn't even switch and this one is actually more rude! I called a place that i've heard great things about. I don't actually know anyone who has taken their baby to this doctor but their office has a great reputation so i'm hoping for the best. Just waiting for them to get back to me and then hopefully move on from all this doctor drama.

Oh and i didn't mention that his doc also wanted me to start giving him some kind of milk enhancer. I don't know much about it but i think it's like a powder that you add to breastmilk to add calories (at least that's what she told me). I was going to look more into it but she wasn't even able to get it anywhere which i find bizarre. She wanted me to start pumping and giving milk to him in a sippy cup rather than nursing him as frequently. I could just see that ending up worse because i can't get nearly as much milk from pumping as he can get nursing and he doesn't drink as well from a cup. I have been pumping in the middle of night lately to get extra milk to give him in a sippy cup (in between feedings). We'll see how long i'm willing to do that. LOL
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  #14  
January 24th, 2011, 09:55 AM
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Oh Krista, I am so sorry you're having to deal with such a rude (apparently uninformed) doctor! I wish you all the best in finding a new doctor, it's so hard to tell sometimes! We actually got our recommendation from my OB. He and his wife take their 2 year old to our doctor and I love all the doctors I've met in their practice but we see Ro's main doctor almost every single time. Maybe it's a good time to start the interview process over again and take Cam with you, ask ALL the questions you can possibly think of and make sure you're really comfortable with them, how they speak to you, and how they are with Camden...I really am so sorry you have to do this now.

You are a wonderful mother, YOU know that. Maybe you could find a Pedi who has similar views as yours - i.e. breastfed her own babies, same vaccs beliefs, and other things along those lines? That's what we did and I'm not sure I could have found a better doctor for Rowan.
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  #15  
January 25th, 2011, 06:43 AM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TettymuhBear View Post
HELLO!!!! That is the line for what is AVERAGE--as in NOT the minimum!! The only way they get an "average" weight per age is because babies fall above AND below that line all the time. If all babies were at or above the average then it wouldn't BE the average anymore!! Good grief--i'd find a new Doc ASAP too!
Thank you! Formula isn't some magic potion that is the answer for everything. You've done your research, you've seen LCs, he's just a little guy. There is nothing wrong with being small as long as he is meeting all milestones and is consistent in his level of growth.
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  #16  
January 25th, 2011, 06:45 PM
Shantastic27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is BEYOND maddening!! She is clearly ignorant about breastfeeding. I'm glad that you are going to be switching doctors. You're doing a GREAT job with Cam, and you're being such a good advocate for him. Keep up the good work, mama!
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  #17  
January 25th, 2011, 07:36 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks I switched to the other doctor and am hoping for the best! Glad i don't have to see that lady again.
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  #18  
January 25th, 2011, 08:04 PM
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Good for you on finding a new doctor! That's what I was going to say!
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