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Cinderella Ate My Daughter


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  #1  
February 1st, 2011, 11:50 AM
Nicole1110's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
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Has anyone heard of this book? I believe it was just released a week ago so I doubt anyone has read it yet. Beau's moms response on the thread I posted about finding out gender reminded me of an article I read about this book.

'Cinderella Ate My Daughter': Are Princesses Bad for Girls' Self-Esteem? - Newsweek

Quote:
In her new book, Cinderella Ate My Daughter, Orenstein documents her struggle to do just that: raise a daughter who is happy and self-confident amid a world that encourages little girls to engulf their rooms in pink chiffon and rhinestone tiaras. Yes, she’s talking about the princess complex—the little-girl love affair that starts with Cinderella and ends with sheets and toothbrushes and cups and tiaras and home décor and pint-size wedding gowns and myriad other products. And the ultrafeminine messages that come along with it.

This princess mania, many argue, leaves girls all mixed up: while they excel in school and outpace their male peers in science and math, they also obsess about Prince Charming and who has the prettiest dress, learning—from a mix of mass marketing and media—not that girls are strong, smart, or creative, but that each is a little princess of her own, judged by the beauty of her face (and gown). Just think about the fairy tales themselves: Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White—all pitted against evil, ugly old women (read: age = awfulness), waiting for the prince they’ve never met to fall for their beauty (not smarts) and rescue them from misery. In The Little Mermaid, Ariel literally trades in her voice for the chance a man she’s never met will love her in return.
I think it sounds like a really good read! I obviously don't have a daughter but I have seen first hand how the Disney princess brand has completely taken over my friends 4 year old. It never occurred to me what the obsession with being a princess at 4 could possibly lead to.

So what are your thoughts? Do you think this article has some validity? Do you think it's just a feministic view? Do you think of your daughter as a princess?
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  #2  
February 1st, 2011, 11:59 AM
LadyCoconut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Georgia
Posts: 35,234
I used to be a princess, but I've upgraded to QUEEN!

I can't help but feel like as adults we read too much into some things. I mean as a kid there were all of these horrific nursery rhymes and fables etc. and we weren't traumatized over them.

I think that writing childrens books and movies and stuff about strong women is a great idea, and I would support it. But I don't feel like books and movies will make my daughter who she is, and as her parent I feel its my responsibility to balance it out. If as she grows up she's putting too much stock in her looks, then obviously I would want to help boost her self esteem about her brains. I wouldn't blame disney for it.
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  #3  
February 1st, 2011, 01:21 PM
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I agree with Shannon. From an adults perspective, I can see how it may appear that Disney movies turn little girls into princesses, but children don't pick up on the underlying messages that adults can see.

I grew up on Disney, The Little Mermaid is my all time favorite childhood movie and we still have every.single.Disney movie on tape. I wasn't at all the princess type and I'm still not and neither is my sister. I am excited for Haidon to watch these movies, as they were a big part of my childhood.

If a little girl becomes the princess type as described in that article, then the parents obviously encouraged it. It is our jobs as parents to make our children well-rounded and if you are only focused on one thing, then your child will be focused on that one thing.

I think that Haidon is a princess, because she is my sweet baby and I want the best for her, so I don't think of her as a princess in the traditional way and my boyfriend and I never call her princess.
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  #4  
February 1st, 2011, 01:41 PM
megpie
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I saw an interview with the author on tv last week. I found it very interesting as well. I won't do Ava's room all in princess or any commericalized *crap* only because it bugs me! Ava can definitely get wrapped up in the whole fantasty of it, wanting Lucas to treat her like a princess, help her down the stairs, etc. He gets sick of it! Ha!

I think it's a lot about balance. If your daughter's life is nothing but crowns, dress-up, Disney, etc. it's not good. It's a good thing she has brothers, so she also has Matchbox cars, racetracks, trains, Legos, etc.

I remember a couple years ago I saw an interview with some lady (can't remember who it was) and it was on a similiar subject. She had two daugthers and she said she purposely would NOT say "...and they lived happily ever after..." at the end of all those princess/disney books. That has always stuck with me.
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  #5  
February 1st, 2011, 06:37 PM
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Location: Louisiana
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I dont think Disney princess is the issue in the behavior of young girls. Its all the other stuff young girls deal with. At Blairs age (5) she isnt intrested in being princessed up all the time. And she doesnt worry about make up, hair, clothes, ect. By the time those things are important to her it wont be disney princess shell be getting bad messages from. Itll be commercials, peers, and tv shows like icarley, hannah montana, ect.

Im a dr. Phil fan and it sticks with me that the #1 influence on a child is thier same sex parent. Blair sees me all the time leaving the house with no make up, I dont spend hours on clothes shopping and getting dressed, i dont obsess over my wieghr ect. Im SHOWING her its ok to be me and Im comfortable with me. As far as prince charming I hope she learns from seeing dh and Is marriage that marriage is about ups and downs and you work through it. We fight and we forgive and say sorry. Granted we arent fighting ALL the time around herbut she has seen it here and there and we talk with her when that happens. We tell her that we have feelings just like her and we get angry and frusterated and we loose control too when we shouldnt. She knows we arent perfect, no one is. And I feel thats important to teach them.

I think its more about what mom and dad show thier kids and the open communication at an early age, including listening to young children. I regularly have talks with blair(since 2-3yrs old) in her room on her bed about her day. I listen to all her silly and serious 5yr old thoughts. I hope by doing this she will know Ill listen to the good and the bad ANYTIME and Ill listen.
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  #6  
February 1st, 2011, 06:45 PM
LadyCoconut's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Georgia
Posts: 35,234
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommawhitney View Post
Im a dr. Phil fan and it sticks with me that the #1 influence on a child is thier same sex parent. Blair sees me all the time leaving the house with no make up, I dont spend hours on clothes shopping and getting dressed, i dont obsess over my wieghr ect. Im SHOWING her its ok to be me and Im comfortable with me. As far as prince charming I hope she learns from seeing dh and Is marriage that marriage is about ups and downs and you work through it. We fight and we forgive and say sorry. Granted we arent fighting ALL the time around herbut she has seen it here and there and we talk with her when that happens. We tell her that we have feelings just like her and we get angry and frusterated and we loose control too when we shouldnt. She knows we arent perfect, no one is. And I feel thats important to teach them.

I think its more about what mom and dad show thier kids and the open communication at an early age, including listening to young children. I regularly have talks with blair(since 2-3yrs old) in her room on her bed about her day. I listen to all her silly and serious 5yr old thoughts. I hope by doing this she will know Ill listen to the good and the bad ANYTIME and Ill listen.

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