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A little scared...


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
March 29th, 2011, 09:20 PM
lovely_serendipity's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,594
Ok so I was the first one to say after I had Kya I was done but in the past week or two FOB and I have entertained the idea of more(he wants a large family).

Its just....my pregnancy was so hard...I had so many losses before and for those of u who read my birth story u know I had kinda a bad one.

I know they say all pregnancies are different...but its so hard to put out of my mind the fact that I almost died..what if I left Kya and a new baby mommyless???

Its not that I don't want anymore...I've always wanted 2 or 3 (he wants 4 or 5)....I guess im just scared....I also tried so hard to have Kya that I don't wanna take away her time to be baby bc I have another...I mean she is already sooo spoiled im not sure how she would take it?!?!?!

I don't know....I guess I was just looking for a bit of other opinions and insight.
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  #2  
March 31st, 2011, 09:20 AM
emmiejack0810's Avatar MELANIE
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,795
Hey there... I will tell you that every pregnancy is definitely different...

Emmie pregnancy was so text book and boring it wasn't even funny... Jackson's however, landed me in the hospital for 6 weeks...

I would say to take time right now and enjoy Kya and everything she has to offer and don't put being done out of reach --- there is always time...

and girl being scared is part of the process - you are going to be scared regardless if you had a 100% perfect pregnancy or the most terrible... but don't let that fear keep you from having something that you truly want.
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  #3  
March 31st, 2011, 10:52 AM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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ITA with Melanie, very well said. I would enjoy Kya while she's still a baby and in a few years if you truly want another baby then don't let fear dictate your decisions about life.
I also wanted to say that you are such a strong mother for going thru what you did. I can't even imagine and don't blame you at all for being scared. But please don't let that fear prevent you from having something so precious if you truly want it.
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  #4  
March 31st, 2011, 12:40 PM
Canadianne
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I know exactly how you feel. I had a stressful pregnancy (off work three months early on sick leave) and a traumatic birth (that I still haven't completely processed) and the idea of having another child absolutely terrifies me and my DH.

My advice would be to sit down with your Dr (if you haven't already) to see what their thoughts are on the issue. They will be able to help alleviate some of your fears and will be able to tell you that one hard pregnancy/birth does not always mean a second hard pregnancy/birth.

As a word of encouragement, in my family first babies are always difficult. My mum almost died birthing my oldest sister and both of my sisters had issues with their first children as well. They all went on to have uncomplicated births for their second and third children.
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  #5  
March 31st, 2011, 09:39 PM
lovely_serendipity's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank u ladies..u have soothed me a bit

I have a well womans exam on April 25th I believe..which will give me and FOB time to come up with a list of questions and concerns.

I also had a few issues that the doctor will need to check but if everything is good and our questions/conserns are well answered then FOB and I can talk about it for a few months...I hve only one funtioning overy...so I don't ovulate as much..so it may take me a while to concieve. Either way I don't really want to even start trying till after Kyas first birthday.

Thank u again ladies
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  #6  
April 1st, 2011, 06:59 PM
emmiejack0810's Avatar MELANIE
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were here for ya...
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  #7  
April 1st, 2011, 09:09 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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After massively hemorrhaging, my mom's heart actually stopped during my brother's delivery. She was in the hospital for weeks after and was told she couldn't have any more children. Almost two years later she gave birth to my sister without major complications.

I won't tell you not to be scared because it's totally natural for you to be scared, especially after your experience. I had a lot of fears about being pregnant and raising a child -- so many that I almost missed out on being a mom.

DH and I have decided that Betsy will be an only child. We're positive she'll be an only child. However, neither one of us is willing to do something permanent to ensure this. Why do I bring this up? To point out that there's still time for us to make a decision. We may have made a decision now, but we still have time to change our minds. You don't have to make up your mind today, tomorrow, or even next year. Enjoy your time with sweet Kya and later you can make a decision. And in terms of the ovary situation, I only had one good ovary and I got pregnant at 34 after 4 months of trying -- all you need is one lucky eggie!
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  #8  
April 1st, 2011, 09:39 PM
lovely_serendipity's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I think ur right Amy..right now I just wanna focus on Kya..we can entertain the idea till sometime after her 1st birthday....
I would like more but ill never be disappointed now that I have kya.
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  #9  
April 3rd, 2011, 05:43 PM
a13xandra's Avatar Alex, mum to Eris
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My best friend had a traumatic homebirth attempt gone wrong with her first baby, four months before our little ones were born. Both mom and babe survived, but it was a close call, too. She's now pregnant with her second and terrified. She's going to a counselor to talk about her feelings, and hopefully this time around she'll have an easy birth that will be emotionally healing. Maybe you might want to talk to somebody about it.
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  #10  
April 3rd, 2011, 11:14 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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Jenna...

I want to add something that will support your decision to enjoy Kya right now and think on this for a while before taking any steps either way...

Research shows (and I can't cite the # of participants or the study, I don't remember them, but these studies hit me so I thought about it...) that when moms have babies close together (I think it was like 22 months or so apart or fewer), there are more chances of complication than when the babies are spread out a little. Is this set in stone? NO! But... the studies were actually well designed and the results were more than a simple correlation. It may be that by waiting, you are improving your chances of having a textbook/boring/normal pregnancy

Of course... that's not stopping me we're ready to try as soon as my body is ready!
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  #11  
April 4th, 2011, 11:12 AM
lovely_serendipity's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by redbirds View Post
Jenna...

I want to add something that will support your decision to enjoy Kya right now and think on this for a while before taking any steps either way...

Research shows (and I can't cite the # of participants or the study, I don't remember them, but these studies hit me so I thought about it...) that when moms have babies close together (I think it was like 22 months or so apart or fewer), there are more chances of complication than when the babies are spread out a little. Is this set in stone? NO! But... the studies were actually well designed and the results were more than a simple correlation. It may be that by waiting, you are improving your chances of having a textbook/boring/normal pregnancy

Of course... that's not stopping me we're ready to try as soon as my body is ready!
Haha thanks for that...u may be right my friend had her last 3 close together(she has 5 total)the second to last one was kinda hard then the last one very hard and I always figured it was bc her body didn't get a chance to heal. That is my fear.since there were blood clots after bleeding that was hard to stop...and a slow healing open wound then...maybe I should wait till I know im fully healed. The doctor also told me he would strongly advise I not try a VBAC bc it would be to dangerous in his opinion....so it would be scheduled csec.
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  #12  
April 10th, 2011, 12:08 PM
Justjessie's Avatar Really Just Angela
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 5,125
I had one miscarriage and three textbook perfect pregnancies and easy deliveries...yet you know AFTER they come out I get too stressed.

But a big part of me NOT wanting to TTC anymore (other than my age) is that I'm enjoying Jessica right now.

I had my son for three years alone before my daughter was born. Then Sierra came and my ex and I got divorced and Sierra basically was shoved aside while I worked on ME for the next almost 9 years now...I'll always feel bad for her.

I want Jessica to have a ton of time with JUST me, like Justin had. I don't want to make another child take care of herself. Sierra (on the upside) learned how to make her own sandwiches/clean/take care of herself because I was exhausted from working and being a single mom and her dad was high on prescription drugs.

Now that my kids are older, it's like having ONE kid sometimes. Justin and Sierra have their moments but they are a HUGE help...and they have lives of their own. This summer, Justin is going to band camp for two weeks, on a cruise with my parents for a week, and they are going to Ohio for two weeks. I almost WILL only have one.

I'll miss the older kids and their help =)

But I look forward to snuggling with Jessica, taking her for walks, playing with her...and making my life revolve around HER schedule, NOT everyone elses!

When Jess starts getting her own life...I will entertain the idea of another. Maybe.
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