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Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
December 10th, 2011, 01:47 PM
kellysensei's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How are you all disciplining your 18-month old? Maybe it's because I'm pregnant, but I feel like I'm at my wit's end most days and get SO ANGRY when Gabriel misbehaves. He rarely responds to the word "no." He just smiles or laughs and repeats what he wasn't supposed to be doing. He's been climbing on top of tables and toilets, knocking our space heaters over, and pulling every single book off our bookshelf. I get so mad I scream at him (which seems to have no effect on him) and then I feel bad for screaming.

How do I discipline him and teach him to listen to me?
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  #2  
December 10th, 2011, 02:13 PM
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Cam has been testing me so bad these days. I have tried the whole time out thing, the talk on his level thing, so on and so on. The only thing that I have tried that seems to be working is when he does something that he's not supposed to do is I stick him in his crib for a minute or two. He throws a fit but he's in a safe place and after I talk to him about it. And so far, its been working. He no longer opens and closes this heavy bi-folding door that could really hurt him. The only thing that worries me about that is what if he starts disliking his crib because of my new "method"? So far it hasn't done anything but still...
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  #3  
December 10th, 2011, 02:59 PM
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Levi gets time outs in a little stool in our kitchen. He HATES them, so I usually have to like hold his hands and sit next to him (so basically I am on time out too )
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  #4  
December 10th, 2011, 03:18 PM
MommaLee's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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We are pretty patient and Julie doesn't mess with too much stuff so we don't really use any forms of discipline.
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  #5  
December 10th, 2011, 06:07 PM
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No and redirection usually solves the issue with Sam. He is fairly reasonable. If he does pitch a fit I generally make sure he is in a safe spot and walk away, once he realizes I am walking away and not giving in he usually turns it off like a switch LOL
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  #6  
December 10th, 2011, 06:15 PM
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i pick my battles very carefully. I'm not saying she has free reign of the house but I do let her pull books down from the book shelf. I know it's a phase that will end. she laughs at no too but if she doesn't listen to a no (and i try to reserve it for really important things) i physically remove her from the scene of the potential crime. it's exhausting. it's repetition repetition repetition and i hear it last awhile.
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  #7  
December 10th, 2011, 07:42 PM
momtothe3rdpower's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Since my four year old gets time out, I have to time out Levi for hitting and pulling hair because he is trying to be mean when he does it and I have to set an example for big sis! He gets one minute with me right next to him though, not really a big deal (she gets four min)
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  #8  
December 10th, 2011, 09:08 PM
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I am also in the pick my battles camp. There are things that I just choose to ignore - like the pulling books off of shelves and taking all of the tupperware out of the drawers. It's just not worth it to me in the end to try and fight that one. Like Michelle said, I know it's a phase and I almost always have Noelle help me when it comes time pick up, so she is learning that she is also responsible for her mess. I try to remember that she really doesn't know what is ok and what is not, and that it takes LOTS of repetition for her to understand, and even then I'm not all that sure what she is really getting. If there is something that is unsafe, I try to remove either the object or redirect her. I also try to be as proactive as possible, move things that I know could be unsafe or I don't want her getting into, lots of locks on the rest of things, etc. Overall, Noelle doesn't really get into all that much, but it could be just because there really isn't much for her to be able to get into.
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  #9  
December 11th, 2011, 05:26 AM
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ditto to the making her help clean up part!
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  #10  
December 11th, 2011, 12:09 PM
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I tell him what he SHOULD be doing instead of what he is doing ("Chairs are for sitting, not standing. Let me help your body.") Then I help him do it. If he goes for the bookshelf, I let him take one book off before saying "Okay, you want to read this one? Let's go." because he was taking ALL of them off too and it was driving me crazy. He gets a little frustrated with it, as do I, but it seems to be working okay. And if he throws a tantrum, he goes into his room because nobody wants to hear that. LOL.
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  #11  
December 11th, 2011, 01:41 PM
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I'll smack her hand to get away from things, often because what's she's doing is dangerous. And I'll say no. It's hard at this age, you can't do the same things you can to even a 2 year old. A 2 year old gets it when you do different things.
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  #12  
December 11th, 2011, 02:19 PM
kellysensei's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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How do you make them help clean up? I think I'd have to physically put things in Gabriel's hands and then hold his arms and physically make him put them away.

I'm not too concerned about the book-pulling, though it's annoying sometimes. I'm just sick of him climbing onto tables (where he could fall off), knocking over the heaters, and throwing things. (He threw a block at DH's face yesterday and it really hurt.) I guess we'll trying putting him in his play yard for a time out, though he seems to like being in there for now. Sigh. DH and I are trying really hard to control our tempers and not scream, but we're both stressed out and it's hard. I was such a calm person before I had kids, and now most days I feel like I have no patience.
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  #13  
December 11th, 2011, 03:23 PM
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We mostly just redirect and pick and choose battles. DH has the patience to really work through things with her on her level, which helps too. If she is being horrible, then we will tap her bottom (just enough to get her attention) and just use the word NO a lot when she is doing something unsafe or really unacceptable. Taking her out of the room and redirecting her seems to be the best thing though. she knows what she can and cannot do for the most part and is pretty good at listening.
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  #14  
December 12th, 2011, 10:16 AM
who_it_is's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kellysensei View Post
How do you make them help clean up? I think I'd have to physically put things in Gabriel's hands and then hold his arms and physically make him put them away.

I'm not too concerned about the book-pulling, though it's annoying sometimes. I'm just sick of him climbing onto tables (where he could fall off), knocking over the heaters, and throwing things. (He threw a block at DH's face yesterday and it really hurt.) I guess we'll trying putting him in his play yard for a time out, though he seems to like being in there for now. Sigh. DH and I are trying really hard to control our tempers and not scream, but we're both stressed out and it's hard. I was such a calm person before I had kids, and now most days I feel like I have no patience.
For me, having Noelle help clean us isn't hard. I just pick one up, hand her one and show her to put it back on the shelf. She almost always follows along. For things like throwing, I would give her a ball, telling her that block are not for throwing... see we throw balls. And if the block throwing continues, I would take the blocks away. We try to use logical consequences when every possible - throw a block, blocks get taken away; make a mess with the books; you help clean them up. That's what seems to work for us, at least right now anyway.
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  #15  
December 13th, 2011, 06:47 PM
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Rebecca was a challenge. Wait. Who am I kidding? She still is!!!! LOL. She drives me crazy nearly every single day. At this age, I did a LOT of yelling. I read every toddler discipline book I could find (and every older kid one too, lol)... and then I decided we were going to pick ONE thing, and make it WORK. The first big step was making sure DH and I were on the same page as to how to punish, and what things were worth punishing. We use time outs, and they have become very effective. But, it took MONTHS for them to really work. I think probably about 5 or 6 months. I spent half an hour sometimes just putting the child back on her chair and restarting the timer until we made it to the minute mark. There were other times where she sat the minute, apologized, and was good to go without any trouble to me as well. She is a very sweet, loving, happy child. But she is very... challenging. The strength she exhibits in her attitudes and behaviours now I'm sure will serve her well in the future, even if I go crazy right now.

For Elias, we redirect, and when it doesn't work, he gets a time out. He stays in time out easily, and behaviour corrects easily with him. Different children, different methods.

As for getting them to clean up, I try to make it a game whenever possible, but if they don't want to help, we do a time out and try again. If they make the mess, they still have to clean it. Rebecca threw her whole meal on the floor this evening, and she had to clean it up. Elias threw a bunch of his breakfast on the floor this morning, he cleaned it up this morning. It takes a lot of supervision and patience to make it happen, but I really believe in making "punishments" fit the crime (or in this sort of a case, them seeing that cleaning the mess is a direct result of making said mess).

Btw, wanted to add, no matter whether you need to correct your child often or not, you are CONSTANTLY disciplining them. Punishment is a part of discipline, but 100% of discipline is guidance. It is our jobs as parents to guide our children in the ways they should go. Some are stronger willed and thus more challenging. Some are very calm and compliant. No matter what though, they are all disciplined in some way or another. I discipline my children when I play with them, I discipline them when I punish. Every minute spent with them is discipline, because I disciple them as their parent, guiding them in the way they should go.

Last edited by hiskid1324; December 13th, 2011 at 06:49 PM.
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  #16  
December 14th, 2011, 07:23 AM
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I agree with working on one thing at a time, kind of triage the undesired behaviour. If you are endlessly yelling or nagging about everything it is miserable.
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  #17  
December 14th, 2011, 12:56 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cfm View Post
I agree with working on one thing at a time, kind of triage the undesired behaviour. If you are endlessly yelling or nagging about everything it is miserable.
Ditto!

I dont use no often, only if she can get hurt and I do have her help with everything, especially if its her that made the mess in the first place. The thing about Alicia is she knows when shes doing wrong...she will look at you say "hiiiii" and blow you a kiss, then try to keep doing what she's doing unless I stop her. Lately she is doing really well with listening. I'm not sure what happened because I haven't changed anything.

I do remember having 0 patience with her when I was preggo though, maybe she hasn't gotten better I just got unpregnant lol. No...seriously its 100x's harder when your pregnant. Believe me it will get much much easier for you once you have the baby as far as patience goes.
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  #18  
December 15th, 2011, 09:43 AM
Mama Chemist 73's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I also try to reserve NO for when she's doing something that could be dangerous like pulling a chair up to the stove to get at the stove. Other times I try to redirect. If I yell too loudly she will just start bawling and want a hug so I "try" to reserve that as well. I also try to show her what she should do instead of what she is doing...doesn't always work though. Sometimes I just let her get away with some things.
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  #19  
December 15th, 2011, 11:11 AM
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Originally Posted by Mama Chemist 73 View Post
I also try to reserve NO for when she's doing something that could be dangerous like pulling a chair up to the stove to get at the stove. Other times I try to redirect. If I yell too loudly she will just start bawling and want a hug so I "try" to reserve that as well. I also try to show her what she should do instead of what she is doing...doesn't always work though. Sometimes I just let her get away with some things.
me too
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  #20  
December 15th, 2011, 12:52 PM
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^^ me 3
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