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Engagement ring question


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
December 12th, 2011, 02:49 PM
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So I heard two older ladies talking the other day about how they can't believe how big womens engagement rings are now compared to what they used to be. I guess it makes sense, people make more money now so they buy bigger rings but it made me curious if others have noticed the same thing. How does the size/carats of your ring compared to say, your moms? Did you pick your ring or did your dh?

...of course the size of the diamond doesnt matter i'm not saying you have to have a big ol' ring. I'm just curious if you think by the time the kiddos here are married if like, 4 carat rings will be the norm
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  #2  
December 12th, 2011, 02:57 PM
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My rings diamond is one that was in my mils original set, and I think she got it from her mil. It's I think a third of a carat (which worked out great since we got married when we were 20 and neither of us had a job). Dh has had the whole set upgraded, but I still kept the original diamond since it'd kind of a family piece. My moms engagement ring had a diamond chip in it, so yeah mine is bigger, but my dad is dumb when it comes to stuff like that. She never wore her ring, always just a gold wedding band.
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  #3  
December 12th, 2011, 05:18 PM
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My mom hates diamonds, she just wore a plain gold band with my dad. And then she had a jade and gold band with my stepdad, which she lost somehow, so now she has a plain gold band again.

I have my great aunt's wedding set though and her diamonds are similar to what I have (around 1 carat for engagement and over 1 carat total for wedding band), but the guy she married (this was in the 1940s) was wealthy at the time. I do think people tend to put more emphasis on the size of diamonds now, which is kinda stupid. I'm happy with my set and I would have been pissed if DH bought something he couldn't afford, etc. I have a few friends/relatives who have ideas of the ring being a certain size (nothing under 1 carat, etc). I always tease them that they're going to get a 3 carat ring with tons of inclusions and flaws, with sucky color, etc.

My engagement ring is just under 1 carat, but it's rated VVS1 for clarity and F for color, which are both pretty high. My wedding band has over 1 carat of diamonds total (they're set into the band), and they all have high quality clarity and color as well.
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  #4  
December 12th, 2011, 07:24 PM
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I agree with you Shelley and i kind of agree with the ladies... i admit, my e ring is 2 carats... i showed dh the one that i wanted in 1 carat (which i wasnt specific about it was just the one i liked) then he got the "better" version. I think my wedding band is about 1 carat total? I"m not sure about that (didnt even look at how many carats it was when i got it) Sometimes i feel like it might be a tad excessive but i do love it bec/ its from him of course... i did not put emphasis on the size of it its just what i ended up with... I know a girl who told her df he had to get at least a carat etc and he really couldnt afford that so he got a credit card and then they broke up! Eeks.
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  #5  
December 12th, 2011, 07:37 PM
Shantastic27's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have DEFINITELY noticed this!! I think the biggest difference in generations is that back then they did NOT live beyond their means the way that people tend to today. There is so much debt now, people just put rings on credit cards. Not judging, that's just what is "normal" in our generation. And I do think that as women, we place more pressure on our men to give us bigger rings. Again, no judgment. I have a good sized ring, but we also had a destination wedding that we spent a minimal amount of money on and so we were able to afford a bigger diamond. And there's all that advertising now...diamond is a girl's best friend...every kiss begins with kay...etc. It's placed a lot of emphasis on those types of things.
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  #6  
December 13th, 2011, 06:39 AM
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You know Shannon, thatss a good point too - i wonder how many people would have smaller rings if they had had to pay cash like the "olden days". My ring was originally bought on a CC but paid off within a couple of months (dh was waiting for some money to come in from something) so i would probably still have the same one but i wouldnt have gotten it when i did.... yes dh could have waited but, it worked out and as it happened, if he had waited a couple of more months my dad wouldnt have been around to ask We got engaged November 20th 2007 (on family vacation in Disney World) and my dad died Jan 10 2008

I also forgot to answer my own question, lol... my ring is MUCH bigger then my moms... my dad had a tiny salary and even with a credit card he still went with the "salary rule" that they had at the time. My moms not that into jewelry though. My sisters i think is a half carat but a really unique design so its a very cool ring. I have the traditional three stone ring but ihave more diamonds... i guess it depends on what ya like
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  #7  
December 13th, 2011, 07:33 AM
JaxonsMom2010's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My engagement ring was my mom's - long story, so I can't compare them.
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  #8  
December 13th, 2011, 08:28 AM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
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My mom threw her ring in the ocean when her and my dad split one time. (when I was a baby) LOL They were young. So I never saw it before.

My ring is 3 diamonds that equal 1 carat in white gold. I picked it out. DH bought a ring and surprised me with the proposal, but I picked the ring out I loved later. I don't have a wedding band. I didn't really want one, we just used this ring for the ceremony as well. We also had a destination wedding. But my ring wasn't THAT expensive, I don't think the diamonds are SUPER clear etc, but I love it anyway <3

Here is a picture:
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  #9  
December 13th, 2011, 08:58 AM
mylene169's Avatar Kaija and Kolbie's Mommy
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The main diamond in mine is a bit bigger than my mom's. I also have more diamonds, but I will say it's not the greatest quality. I actually can't remember the TCW right now... a carat maybe? And that's 7 diamonds. DH bought it from overstock.com He says I picked it out but I don't remember it. Technically he paid cash for it but the cash came from an overage on his student loans. He later asked me if it would have been okay to skip the engagement ring and just exchanged bands at the wedding. And really, that would have been totally fine with me.

My aunt has an awesome ring that she designed. She hasn't had it long. They just had bands for a long time (20 years maybe?) and she finally got her diamond in the past 5 years or so I guess. It's a hammered gold band and where the two ends would normally meet it overlaps and the diamond is hidden under the edge so you can't really see it from the top. It's really cool!
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  #10  
December 13th, 2011, 09:02 AM
Max n Meghan's Mom's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We paid cash for my ring. It's just clusters of diamonds. We were young and didn't want to take out a debt for my ring.

We're actually going to replace my wedding set in 2013 (our 10th anniversary) because the wedding band has cracked and I would like something nicer.

We'll still pay cash, though our budget will be larger than it was the first time!
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  #11  
December 13th, 2011, 11:06 AM
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My great aunt's wedding set that I talked about in my above post still has the receipt in the jewelry box. It cost over $3000 and that was in the 1940s, so when you factor in inflation and all that, then it was a lot of money. It's insured for around $25K now, but insurance appraisers tend to inflate the value. If I was just trying to sell her set, then it would sell for less. So, in her case, I think it's pretty comparable (or more expensive) then a lot of rings now that people buy.

My sister has an awesome ring. She doesn't like diamonds and her birthstone is a sapphire, so her DH bought her a 3 carat green sapphire with some little diamonds around it. It is massive looking, but it didn't cost that much compared to a lot of diamond rings because sapphires are usually less expensive. I think it was around $2000 total, which is less than my engagement ring cost, which has a smaller stone, but is a diamond with high color and clarity.
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  #12  
December 13th, 2011, 11:56 AM
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My ring is a lot like yours, Laura! It's a three stone as well, equalling 1 ct.

Dan paid cash, while in college and working as a bus boy at a restauraunt...so I always thought he did pretty well

If we were getting married at this stage, which many people we know are, I would probably have a more expensive ring. I think in our parents' generation, more people got married right out of high school as well and weren't as established as people are now, who a lot of times graduate college and start careers before settling down.
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  #13  
December 13th, 2011, 01:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Racine View Post
My ring is a lot like yours, Laura! It's a three stone as well, equalling 1 ct.

Dan paid cash, while in college and working as a bus boy at a restauraunt...so I always thought he did pretty well

If we were getting married at this stage, which many people we know are, I would probably have a more expensive ring. I think in our parents' generation, more people got married right out of high school as well and weren't as established as people are now, who a lot of times graduate college and start careers before settling down.
I think that is very true! That's pretty much how we were, we were both 20 and dh was going in the army and I was in college...so we had no money. I think my set cost like $500, but that was for the bands only since we had the diamond put in. The original set had little channel set diamonds, the set I have now is similar but the diamonds are bigger, and I love that set so much I'll still sometimes wear the wedding band on my right hand.

I had a friend who used to say she only wanted to get proposed to with a Harry Winston diamond no less than one carat but I'm pretty sure when it came down to it that's not what she got..haha!

Last edited by taralyn; December 13th, 2011 at 01:44 PM.
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  #14  
December 13th, 2011, 05:43 PM
QueenCrafty's Avatar Courtney
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Racine, my DH is kinda like yours. He paid cash from waiting tables during summers home from college.

DH's dad was a jeweler at the time, so he got a wedding set lower than retail price. My center stone is .52 carats and then I have 3 channel set diamonds on each side. I think the total of my engagement ring is like .9 or something. My wedding band has 7 channel set diamonds that are around .45 total. The stones are all very good color and clarity because I was a diamond snob at the time. My only requirement was that my big stone had to be bigger than my sister's .5 ct ring. I really wanted it to be .75 but the setting wouldn't allow for a bigger diamond. The set I have is pretty modern, which isn't entirely my taste. I like art deco style or an antique and delicate look, but mine is pretty chunky. That's okay. I don't really plan on changing it at any point.

My mom's ring she designed herself. My dad proposed without a ring and she had a ring designed to have a thick gold band that matched my dad's with a small one with three little diamonds made to look like a floral vine of some sort. Very interesting, but she broke her hand and now can't get it on her finger.
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  #15  
December 13th, 2011, 10:08 PM
sandpaper06's Avatar Mom of 3 darlings
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Gah! I've tried responding to this thread 3 times now.

The short story...mine is bigger than my mom's. DH paid cash for it and it's just over 2 total carat weight. Also though, my mom's ring has been upgraded and is about the same now.
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  #16  
December 14th, 2011, 07:35 AM
Katie81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Mine is much larger than my mom's, but she doesn't care about jewelry at all. My first ring was 3/8 of a carat, but we were 20 and in college. My ring now is three stones with some smaller ones set in the sides, and is 2 carats total.

This mine except my stones are round.

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Last edited by Katie81; December 14th, 2011 at 07:39 AM.
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  #17  
December 14th, 2011, 09:29 AM
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We might have the same ring katie! thats what mine looks like but round
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  #18  
December 14th, 2011, 11:41 AM
Katie81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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That's funny! Do you wear a band with it? I've never been able to find something that fits with it...
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  #19  
December 15th, 2011, 07:35 AM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Mine is bigger than my mom's but I was 32 when I got married and my mom got married at 18! DH and I were both established in careers so we had a bit more to spend. The diamond is a family diamond that is about a carat and I have two sapphires on the side. I don't think it looks that big compared to others because I don't have tons of diamonds in the setting or the band.
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  #20  
December 16th, 2011, 02:12 AM
LisaBrown's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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DH paid cash for mine. I think it's a .33 carat solitaire in a slightly different setting, which I find is perfect since I didn't want anything too big. I wear a plain gold band with it as my wedding ring. My E ring is a bit bigger than my mom's was, I think hers was .20 or .25 carat. I was fresh out of University when DH proposed and would have been super pissed if he'd spent money he didn't have on my ring...especially since we had to pay for our own wedding too and I needed to start payments on my student loans soon. I'm more than happy with what I have and I don't even think I'd uprade it if I had a chance, I love my ring and am super proud of DH for picking it out himself (with my mom's help, lol!) and surprising me completely. He got major points for that.
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