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Sleep Issues....and Quality time....


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
December 14th, 2011, 09:15 PM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,650
For the past month or two Alivia has stopped sleeping through the night. I know I mentioned this on here before and I know a lot of your LO's are not sleeping through the night either. But the issue has gotten worse. We now have a really hard time even getting her to go to and stay in bed. Before we would open up the gate and say get your blankie and she's go it and go running up to her room and not mind at all. Lay down and go to sleep. Even if she did wake up later.

Weird thing is, she will still do that part, but once she is laying down for 5, 10, 15 mins she starts screaming and crying. AND..it's only at night. About 90% of the time she goes up willingly for her nap through the day and goes to sleep no fuss. It seems like if I go in there at all it just escalates her screaming and prolongs it. I was thinking she was scared or lonely. And I've tried a whole bunch of things to try to get her to go down at night without screaming. We have always had a night light in there, but we also tried:

1. Getting a baby projector for her ceiling, she was scared of it. So that didn't work.
2. We had a baby noise machine from our bassinet, tried and and she was also scared of that.
3. Finally found a sound machine that she was not scared of, but didn't seem to make a difference.
4. Leaving her light on.
5. Door Shut
6. Door Open
7. Hall Light on
8. moving her to a big girl bed
9. Sitting on the floor just outside her door while she cries, make no eye contact.
10. lay with her
11. Try to let her fall asleep down in the living room

#4, 5, 6, 7 all didn't seem to make a difference.

Moving her to her big girl bed seemed to work a bit, but no rhyme or reason to when it will or will not work. But then she'll just get out of bed and go to the gate at the top of the stairs (where she can see us downstairs) and scream.

Sitting on her floor just out side her door, I did this one night for 1 hour and she calmed and went to sleep, but it didn't work the next time, she just kept crying and crying and frankly it's hard to take THAT much time to put her to bed when I have Liam to deal with.

Laying with her, well if we are going to sleep also, that usually works. But not always. DH has been sleeping with her in her bed because she is up every night and I feel like it's not safe to co-sleep with both Livi and Liam in the same bed. But he doesn't want to go to bed every night at 7, 8 or even 9. Also when Livi is in the same room as Liam every time I wake to feed him or he starts waking she sits up then won't leave him alone and wants to play etc. And then we all end up with no sleep.

And trying to let her sleep in the living room and moving her works if she will ACTUALLY fall to sleep. That only works if she is sleeping and wakes up crying.

Besides just the issue of her not falling to sleep without crying...I am finding it is giving DH and I less and less time alone. We barely ever sleep in the same bed anymore. And barely ever get any quiet time at night with no kids up. DH leaves for work before I am up and I am finding this so hard on our relationship. What usually ends up happening is leaving Livi stay up and then she doesn't go to bed til either 1) she finally passes out in the living room, or 2) he goes to bed with her and turns off lights.

I really want to have some quiet time with DH again, at least some evenings. I don't want to let her scream and cry herself to sleep, and I've tried going in every 5 or so mins but it just prolongs it.

Anyone else dealing with something similar or have any suggestions?

Sorry this is sooo long. Thank you soo much for reading. I've been waiting to post, but I'm at my wits end with this. It's causing a lot of issues in our house.
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  #2  
December 15th, 2011, 07:29 AM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have no suggestions but feel your pain! Jed will wake up and cry and I think it is from a bad dream. But we can give hugs and he will go back to sleep.
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  #3  
December 15th, 2011, 07:31 AM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
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Posts: 3,650
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kittynoah View Post
I have no suggestions but feel your pain! Jed will wake up and cry and I think it is from a bad dream. But we can give hugs and he will go back to sleep.
Thanks Laura, Yes Livi was doing that too. So I am not sure if she is scared of her room at night or what? She will whine or cry in her sleep as well once she finally does go to sleep.

I don't want to let her scream and cry at bed time but it's coming down to the last thing I know to try...but it just bothers me to do that.
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  #4  
December 15th, 2011, 09:28 AM
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It sounds like she's scared at night...maybe of the dark? Or maybe it's her way of getting undivided attention right now. You're tried pretty much everything I would suggest, so I'm just crossing my fingers that she stops soon.
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  #5  
December 15th, 2011, 10:33 PM
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Layla can still scream the house down after lights out. Or wake up after an hour and scream. We go through getting her up and letting her sit up with dh & I for a bit but then when we try to put her back down, the whole things starts up again. She uses every delaying tactic in her book to avoid going down again (water, wee, poo). Honestly, I know you don't want to let her cry, but that's what I did when I got to my wit's end with it. She was also waking much earlier than usual (after 6am is okay but she was waking at 5am to start her day and that's too early!!). Anyway I just let her cry herself back to sleep once when I was tired and fed up, and she went back to sleep and slept til 7am. It's still hit and miss with when she'll wake up (but it's after 6 at least) so that one time of crying and she was back on track.

The only problem I'd have is I'm paranoid about safety and if i know she's in her cot, I know she's okay but if you do let her cry it out and she's in her bed, well that would be harder I think as you know she can get into things and you'd have to keep an eye out anyway. I was never an advocate of CIO but sometimes it saves your sanity, especially with a newborn to look after too..
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  #6  
December 16th, 2011, 06:47 AM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
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Location: Alberta, Canada
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Thanks Lenore! We have resorted to letting her cry herself to sleep before, and we may in the future too. The issues I have with CIO at this point is that it seems most times she cries herself to sleep she wakes up a short time later crying again. The other thing is that it's not like she has to do it once or twice. We have let her CIO and she still does it night after night.

I should add.... I decided to try AGAIN to leave her light on, because I just can't get over how she goes down so easy through the day. Well last night...IT WORKED. I'm not getting my hopes up, because it was only one night. And she woke up screaming at about 1am. But at least she went down no screaming! Lets hope this continues.

If it doesn't, we don't have much left but to let her CIO...or keep her up... It breaks my heart to do CIO, I try really hard to let her cry...but uggg...pulls at my heart strings....lol
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  #7  
December 16th, 2011, 08:10 PM
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Omg Laura we are going through the same thing right now! For the last month or two, on and off, Rachel will do the same thing, and for the last week it's been almost every night. If she goes down okay, she will wake up screaming, and i also though maybe it was a bad dream. I go in there, I don't pick her up because I know from experience she will be up all night, but I'll rub her back and get her to lay back down and she would usually be okay. But this last week that hasn't been working and she's also started doing it about 15-20 minutes after I put her down. I always go in and check on her but I can't figuring what's wrong...and honestly right now I am so exhausted I can barley think between her and Cole I'm getting maybe 3-5 hours of interrupted sleep a night. She did it again tonight about 15 minutes after I put her down, but after checking to make sure everything was ok I just let her cry. It breaks my heart because she sounds so sad and I am conflicted about CIO at this age, but I also have a 3 month old that I need to feed too...I'm only one person and most of the time have to do it on my own since dh has a new schedule that has him working until past bedtime. She did eventually stop crying so we will see if she sleeps all night, I know she is exhausted thou because she barely slept last night. She's always been such a good sleeper and thinly thing I can think is that it has something to do with the new baby. so I dont really have any advice but i just wanted to let you know you aren't alone.
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  #8  
December 17th, 2011, 02:25 AM
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Another thought I had is that layla is teething (she seems to have gotten all her teeth late). Could your toddlers be teething too? Don't know if you've tried some Tylenol to help soothe them or if it's worth a shot? Maybe when they're distracted they can cope with it but then as they drift off to sleep, tooth pain waking them up....maybe.........??
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  #9  
December 17th, 2011, 10:45 PM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
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Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,650
Lenore - YES..she is def. teething...that is for sure, the canine teeth! So know that is not helping AT ALL. I have tried all the remedies for that as well, as well as tylenol and it didn't work.. BUT...this is the THIRD night in a row that I have put her to bed and just left her light on and it WORKED!!! She still wakes up through the night even with the light on, but at least we can get her to go down if we leave a bright light on. *fingers crossed* that we found the solution to getting her to sleep, now to get her to sleep all night.

Lea, thank you so much for writing too.... happy to hear I am not the ONLY one. I am really thinking Livi's problem is the dark, and maybe a bit of teething as well. I am thankful that I do have DH, and he goes and sleeps with her. Our kiddos are pretty much the same age apart, so I understand you there. And Liam bed shares with me most of the time and if not, he doesn't sleep through the night, so I cannot have both of them in my bed. I don't know how some people bed share with 2 or more kids.
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  #10  
December 18th, 2011, 12:02 PM
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I'm glad you (fingers crossed) figured out what was wrong! I never even thought about it being something to do with the dark! For the last two nights rachel has been sleeping well too so I think she just gets used to us going in there all the time and then does twang to sleep...so I've been feeling almost semi-human for the past couple days...
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  #11  
December 19th, 2011, 06:31 AM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,650
Glad Rachel is sleeping better. Livi wouldn't go to bed last night....but she wouldn't even let us put her in her play pen and she kept getting out of the big girl bed.

I am still not sure that she is actually scared of the dark, even though the light thing has been working. But since it's working, so far I am hoping it keeps working..lol
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  #12  
December 19th, 2011, 11:02 AM
Meganpixel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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glad she's sleeping better Laura!
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