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Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
January 7th, 2012, 06:33 PM
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what type of a parent are you... eliminatory or time out type?

BTDT mommies, what to you think works best?

I think I am more of the eliminatory type. I would take a toy that causes trouble away over placing LO in time out. I have a friend that does the opposite and I wonder what others think about it.

I am aware of the fact that our LOs are too young for time outs. My friend's LO is over 2 years.

Do you think time outs work?

I dont think we are going to be debating over this, but I really would like to hear your opinions as this is all new to me. Please share, no matter what opinion it is
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  #2  
January 7th, 2012, 09:40 PM
Pupcake74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have three kids and I really believe it depends on the child.
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  #3  
January 8th, 2012, 04:29 AM
J9+J+C=Complete's Avatar Charlotte & Jacob's Mommy
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Time out worked for Jake and still does occasionally at seven hrs old, but he's my pleaser. Charlie will be my "challenging" one I can already tell. I'll be taking notes from you ladies. Having a little girl is going to be so different than having a little boy! The ear piercing screams when she gets mad, oh boy!
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  #4  
January 8th, 2012, 07:06 AM
mt23hc's Avatar Melissa
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I honestly am STILL trying to figure this out and Hayden is 4.5!
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  #5  
January 8th, 2012, 08:17 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I definitely don't have it anywhere close to figured out at all! But right now, I kind of base it on the situation. If removing the toy or removing Max from the situation is enough, then I do that. Or if he's acting out because he's tired, hungry, etc, I'll remove him and hold him or give him a snack. If he's getting into something he shouldn't or going somewhere he isn't allowed, usually a firm "No!" or "Maximus!" or "No fingers"/"No touching!" is enough.

Max does have a problem with invading people's personal space, so for that we are starting to do time outs. Also, if he is continuing to do something he knows he not supposed to after he has been removed, then he gets a time out, too. For us, a time out means he sits on a chair, step, somewhere non-stimulating and I face him and hold him there for about a minute (it's usually less). It gets him to realize he can't do what he is doing, give him time to calm down, but not so long that he gets worked up about being confined.
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  #6  
January 8th, 2012, 09:06 AM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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It depends on the situation for us as well. If simply removing a toy will solve the problem that's what we do. If he's starting to be defiant and not listening we will make him sit in time out for a minute.
I also think it depends on the child. I swear DS gets time outs much more than other kidsmight. He knows when he is doing something wrong that he can get in trouble for.
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  #7  
January 8th, 2012, 09:09 AM
The Heather's Avatar Jedi Master of Piffleness
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I think it depends on the kid. I have used both methods with my DD. She responds much better to eliminatory disipline. Taking away her Duck is the worse thing I can do. LOL

I'm not sure which Chase will respond to better, but I have been using time outs for him so far. He gets put into his exersaucer to go to time out.
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  #8  
January 8th, 2012, 09:42 AM
amymgem's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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When we went for Wren's 15 m appt, the nurse told us Wren is not too young for time-outs, but I totally disagree. For now, we do what we need to based on the situation. Sometimes just redirecting will work, but if it's something that she continues to do after we have explained several times that she should not do (going after our dog for example) then we are really firm with her by physically not letting her go there. She screams, throws herself around, etc., but eventually she gives up.
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  #9  
January 8th, 2012, 10:02 AM
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So far Teresa is an angel, or maybe it's she's an angel compared to her brothers. I can't really think of a time I've taken a toy away from her. Usually if she's doing something she shouldn't, like touching the tree, I move her away and tell her no-no-no. She sometimes mimics the no-no-no and then stays away for a bit. She hasn't had a time out other than when she joins her brother in time out/tries to comfort him by bringing him toys.
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  #10  
January 8th, 2012, 10:42 AM
LifenTheFastLane's Avatar Mommy 2 Rhys~Rhylee~Jessa
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Kris~ View Post
So far Teresa is an angel, or maybe it's she's an angel compared to her brothers. I can't really think of a time I've taken a toy away from her. Usually if she's doing something she shouldn't, like touching the tree, I move her away and tell her no-no-no. She sometimes mimics the no-no-no and then stays away for a bit. She hasn't had a time out other than when she joins her brother in time out/tries to comfort him by bringing him toys.
Jessa tries to join her brothers in time out to or bring them stuff as well
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  #11  
January 8th, 2012, 10:42 AM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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Right now, I try to just take away the thing that is causing the negative behavior-- she loses the toy or if she's trying to repeatedly touch the tv, we'll leave the room. I think eventually, the disciplinary action will depend on the negative action and her personality -- only time will tell!
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  #12  
January 8th, 2012, 12:20 PM
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We have never used time-out, but we may later on. I try to use 'no!' and/or 'danger' minimally. Otherwise, we just correct the situation ourselves, and I still use distraction alot.
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  #13  
January 8th, 2012, 01:45 PM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
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Right now we only take something away if he is continuing to use it in a bad way after several "no no"s. Like if he is playing with my cell phone and i tell him no no or we dont eat that when he puts it in his mouth more than 3x i take the cell phone away and tell him he can have it back when he learns how to play with it. I know he doesnt understand the last part yet but he will someday, i hope. Then if he's getting into something he shouldnt be like climbing on the dishwasher while Im doing dishes i will set him back on the ground 3x and tell him no no we dont climb on that but after 3x i take him to the couch and set him down so i guess kinda like a time out but i dont make him stay put. It usually gets the point across and he moves on to something else. Caleb is very hard headed and stubborn and almost never stops doing something because i ask him to. I think we'll stick to discipling according to the situation for now.
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  #14  
January 8th, 2012, 07:02 PM
Meggie26's Avatar Megan
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I think it depends on the child and the situation. I'm still trying to figure it all out with both of my kiddos. Sometimes, putting Elliana in time out works, other times all I need to do is remove the item that is causing her the problems. I feel like Kierson is going to be the child that time outs don't affect him and he just needs to have things removed.

I'll be looking for more responses!
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  #15  
January 8th, 2012, 09:46 PM
Pupcake74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Now that I have some more time. I did want to add that one thing I have learned from my older two is that being consistant really does help. I know sometimes I might not be in the mood and it depends on what it is too. I would just let it go, but then the next time it makes things worse. It can be a real slippery slope.

Also depending on what it is I might ignore the behavior but when I see em doing what I want I will make more of a big deal about it. Since kids like attention they tend to stop what it was I was not so keen on.

I have also learned that kids understand alot more than some give them credit. From an early age I will tell my kids if they do this then this will happen....and I follow through with it. Both good and bad.
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  #16  
January 9th, 2012, 07:05 AM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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At Kaylee's age - eliminate - at Brandon's age ... sometimes it's eliminate and sometimes it's a timeout - depending on the issue, and his attitude about it (understanding). I think every kiddo is different in what they need.
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  #17  
January 10th, 2012, 06:45 PM
white.house's Avatar Kelli
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Sometimes eliminate, sometimes time out, sometimes ignore, sometimes a firm "no" or "no touching". I don't think they are too young for time-outs, but I guess it depends on what you mean by time out.
What I do for time out is sit Eli down on the floor, on his bottom, and hold him very still for about 30 seconds-1 minute or until he stops whining. He seems to understand this. I usually do this if he tries to do something repeatedly after I have said NO at least 2-3 times. This usually happens at my parents house when he tries to climb the stairs or touch their decorative things. It seems to works for him.
Like several others have said, it depends on the situation and the child's personality/temperament IMO
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  #18  
January 11th, 2012, 05:07 PM
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Thanks for your input, girls! Since reading your replies I tried a ''time out'' with Milan just by holding him on me and not letting him go. I guess elimination is the way to go for now as it is the only way to get away the article that creates trouble. His behaviour is corrected mostly about things like banging a train on TV or climbing his table.
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