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I hate calling it that, but I need help! Rachel has started to really develope some behaviors that I don't know how to deal with. Mainly hitting, kicking, throwing a fit when she doesn't get her way or doesn't want to do something (which is quite often). I don't know what to do when she does this. Mostly her anger is directed towards me, sinceim the one with her all the time. I've tried the firm "we don't hit" I've tried time outs (which she hates but I'm not sure they really do much or if I'm doing them right). I have a really hard time keeping my patience when she hits and kicks at me...but would just ignoring the behavior work so she doesn't get any kind of reaction? Last week at Gymboree she hit another little boy because he was on the toy she wanted I removed her from the group but didn't know what else to do. None of my friends with kids this age seem to be having this problem, so I wonder if part of the problem is her brother? She doesn't mess with him really though, and on the off chance she does take a swipe at him she gets time out immediately. I have people telling me this behavior is "normal" for her age because she can't control her emotions, which I understand...but I also feel like it needs to be addressed at this age as well or else she will think its acceptable. Yesterday we went for a walk and stopped by a park, when I told her it was time to go she ignores me, and when I picked her up to put her in the stroller she pitched a royal fit, screaming, throwing herself on the ground, hitting me....etc. what do you do in that situation when you are in public. Any advice would be great because I'm at a loss....
Last edited by taralyn; May 11th, 2012 at 09:04 AM.
Caleb has been trying to hit in the last month or so, too. I say "No hit!" very firmly and in a tone that he knows to take serious. Being gentle with my voice doesn't work for us, LoL. If he tries to throw a fit about it, I say "No hit! Go lay down," and take him straight back to his room and make him lie down on his bed. If he tries to get up from the bed, I put him right back into it. I do this until he calms down, and then we hug and kiss and I explain more calmly why he had to have time out. Even if he doesn't understand everything that I'm saying, I know that he will understand it one day soon, and I'd rather be in the habit of talking it out now. Luckily, he's pretty content when we're out in public and has never really thrown a fit, so I don't know what to say about that. In any case, it sounds like you've already been doing similarly to what we've been doing, and all I can say about that is, at this age, it's not going to seem to be working all the time. But consistency is best, and I think it will start to work more effectively as she gets older.
Thanks krissy! At least it's not just me...maybe I have to be more consistent with the time outs. I thought about putting her in her crib, but I'm worried about making it a negative space and want her to still like going to bed. Usually when she's in her "time out" corner she just cries and cries until I go get her and make her say sorry and give her a hug. So maybe waiting until she calms down would work better? Ugh! Im at a loss! It's not all the time...more when she's tired or frustrated. We went out today and she was great...I'd just love to get a handle on this. :s
Alex has his moments, but for the most part he is pretty mellow. There are times when he has to be put in time out. I put him in his crib. I tell him why he is going in there. I wait until he calms down before I get him, and then I explain again why he had to sit in there. It takes time for it to click with kids, and even when it does they will still do things they know they shouldn't just to test their boundaries. I would say that her behavior sounds normal, and that just being consistent with how you deal with it will help over time. Sometimes I think I need a tape recorder because I get tired of saying the same thing over and over again.
We are using Abri's crib for time outs now that she's moved up to a regular bed. I tell her she needs to calm down for two minutes before she can come out. Lily gets 4 minutes because she is 4. If she continues to scream, she stays in timeout. It is normal behavior for the age, but I have noticed that Abri is worse than Lily at this age so I am hoping that Abri will be an easier 4 year old than Lily is. One can hope!
Kolbie is seriously 2 lately! She started in on it at 6:30 this morning and kept it up until nap time. Ugh. We've been doing more time outs and being firm with her. It is pretty normal and it is definitely frustrating. DH and were actually talking about it this morning and we couldn't remember Kaija ever acting like this... either that or we were in a "just had a newborn" fog!