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Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By nurselochia

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  #1  
June 27th, 2012, 07:23 AM
Lala78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Central Washington
Posts: 733
I know some of you have or plan to have another baby. I would live to have another baby in about a year so they are 3 years apart. However, how will I not go nuts? Right now Ripley sleeps with us. DH and I have no time alone. I miss her so much since I leave before she gets up and don't see her till about 3:30. That's why I'm in no hurry to end our nighttime cuddles. DH wants a sex life. I can understand but am reluctant to have more space between me and Ripley.

DH gets our 10-yr-old son (my SS) and Ripley ready in the morning and I pick them up. The main concerns are:
(1) money: how do people do it??
(2) time: does the second baby lose out? We'd have to have all kids out of our room much sooner.
(3) schedule: DH stresses in the morning, so I'd have to change my work schedule in order to be there in the a.m. This would mean there would only be a couple hours at night before bedtime and I'd probably have to prepare most dinners ahead of time since I would get home around 6 rather than 4.

If we can figure out money, time, schedule, and I took a shorter maternity than last time 3 rather than 6 months), would it be worth it? I know the child would, but would the rest of us suffer?

Sorry, I guess this is more of a journal entry. I'm turning 34 in September and DH is 40. It has to be soon or not at all. He doesn't want more but mostly because he is Mr. Mom a lot. I feel like our family isn't quite complete. I want Ripley to have a sibling. She absolutely adores her brother, but he's only with us 50% of the time and he's 9 years older.

Any insight, words of wisdom?
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  #2  
June 27th, 2012, 09:58 AM
nurselochia's Avatar Marathon running mom of 4
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Cornfield, USA
Posts: 3,855
I honestly think that everything just falls into place after the baby comes. It did for us. With 4, the kids don't get as much stuff as they would if we had 1 or 2 and I watch our budget more now, especially when it comes time for school and activities. They won't be able to do every single sport because of time and money. But, I think that's ok, we don't always get to do everything/get everything we want in life. I don't think my oldest got more attention than the next three. For us, I was more comfortable with babies after him, so my 2nd was breastfed longer, held more and by the time Caleb was born, he was nursed, he co-slept, was carried in carriers and cuddled more. We relaxed more and more with each kid so we were able to enjoy them more instead of being hung up on being particular. The time/schedule thing, we worried about that too. I work nights and DH has to get the kids up and to the sitter before he goes to work b/c I don't get home in time. He wasn't sure he could handle getting more than 1(or 2 or 3 lol) up and ready. But we never changed anything and even after 4 it's not a problem. He just got up 10 minutes earlier and got a good routine down. He did whine, complain and stress for awhile but now it's not a problem. DH and I don't get a lot of alone time either. But Caleb doesn't sleep with us anymore so it's been easier lately. We gt the kids to sleep then spend about an hour hanging out and finally our sex life is getting better. I always figured I needed to feel in my heart that our family was complete or else I'd maybe regret not having another child down the road. I guess I kinda rambled, didn't I? LOL It's a tough decision. Good luck!
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  #3  
June 27th, 2012, 02:48 PM
Lala78's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Central Washington
Posts: 733
Thank you. Your perspective was extremely helpful! Still ruminating.
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