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Love Language


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  #1  
January 22nd, 2013, 09:53 AM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,202
John and I were doing some marriage evaluation (we like to make it a priority to check in with each other and make sure we are each doing what the other one needs). This post comes out of that conversation.

I believe, pretty strongly, in love languages. I hadn't heard of a love language until after I got married. I bought and read the book, took the quiz and jumped 2 feet into trying the strategies.

For those who also know about love languages - do you feel you have one? Does your DH? What about your child?

John and I hadn't talked love languages since kids. It's funny how easily I can assign their love language right now in their life. It is really clear as day. I wonder if it will change as they grow up!

My love language - Quality Time
John's - Touch
Evan - Touch
Luke - Quality Time

There is an online questionnaire you can take to determine your love language. So what's yours?
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  #2  
January 22nd, 2013, 10:42 AM
whitehouse's Avatar My name is Kelli :)
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Location: Southeastern, USA
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Oh yes! I am a big advocate of the book!

D and I did it while we were dating, again when he was in Africa for 6 weeks, during marriage counseling, and we skimmed it in our second year of marriage!

I've been meaning to get "The Five Love Languages of Children" but haven't yet.

Daniel: Physical Touch
Me: Quality Time
Eli: Words of Affirmation and Quality Time
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  #3  
January 22nd, 2013, 02:51 PM
TreeTog's Avatar Love is in the Air!
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Location: La Porte, TX
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David is Physical
I am Words of Affirmation.
Liam and Ryan are too young.

Leslie
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  #4  
January 22nd, 2013, 05:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 32,940
Quality time andacts of service were equal for me.

Hubby didn't take the quiz, but I can pretty much guarantee he'd be touch.
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  #5  
January 22nd, 2013, 05:46 PM
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Forgot to add the kids

Nathan-quality time
Lukas-Physical touch
Teresa-Physical touch
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  #6  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:49 AM
amonstersmomma's Avatar Coetta Dawn
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Florida
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When we got married the Army had a newly wed retreat we went on and it was 3 days of Love Languages classes. We both enjoyed it a lot!

DH and I are both Words of Affirmation
If I had to guess.... Caleb is also Words of Affirmation with Quality Time a close second.
whitehouse likes this.
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  #7  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:03 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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I was overwhelmingly in the "words of affirmation" category. DH hasn't done it yet, but he's talked about this before. I'll have to update this when he takes it.

Betsy was too young, but I would bet that she's "words of affirmation" and "quality time". She isn't big with cuddling (so no "touch") and gifts don't mean much to her.
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  #8  
January 23rd, 2013, 07:32 PM
Memi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Me : Acts of Service
Bryce: Physical Touch

I haven't taken the test to see what Gabriel's is yet. I haven't found the online test for kids. If I had to guess I'd say Gabriel is Words of Affirmation for now. I believe for everyone your primary love language can change during the different seasons of life. For example prior to being a mother I highly doubt mine was Acts of Service, but now someone lightening my load means the world!
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  #9  
January 24th, 2013, 07:04 AM
~Constance~
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Posts: 3,570
Well, that was a whole lot of the same question over and over and I almost had to lie in many of them since I didn't care for either choice. :/ Strange. And the link that gives you more ideas about determining your love language, mostly through how you complain, well I answered yes to all those too so that was little help. If I were to peg what I do to show love to others, it would be AOS and QT equally. That's not all I expect from my DH though.
I scored equally across three of the five languages which I rather expected since I'm demanding and insist that if I'm really being loved that I am loved totally in every action and inaction of my partner.
It is weird though that just last month I was telling DH how much I liked it when he would bring me a cup of hot tea unasked. It really makes me feel loved that he was thinking about me and what would give me a boost. I'm not sure if that falls under acts of service or gifts. It really is the thought behind it I think so probably gifts.
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  #10  
January 24th, 2013, 07:14 AM
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The questions definitely seemed repetitive, but I guess they need to compare one language to 4 others, so it makes sense that the questions are similar.

I find it interesting how so many guys tend to be touch! I totally agree with Megan that I am sure your language changes over time!
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  #11  
January 24th, 2013, 08:43 AM
whitehouse's Avatar My name is Kelli :)
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I agree too Megan!
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  #12  
January 25th, 2013, 07:32 AM
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Finally made hubby take it. I was right that his top was Touch, but I was a little surprised to see how high he scored on Words of Affirmation. Definitely something for me to think about!
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  #13  
January 25th, 2013, 04:19 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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Okay, DH tells me that he is "Acts of Service". He told me that he figured I was "Words of Affirmation". Don't know if this will change things around here though.
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  #14  
January 27th, 2013, 05:00 AM
*MomofO&Nat*'s Avatar Kelly, Massachusetts Mama
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I honestly have NEVER heard of this before. I just saw the post, so now I am intrigued and I am going to try it out. I hope DH will too. I will report back
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  #15  
January 27th, 2013, 11:13 AM
*MomofO&Nat*'s Avatar Kelly, Massachusetts Mama
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Mine was quality time. I have to do my kids still and see if Evan will do it.
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  #16  
January 27th, 2013, 12:40 PM
The Heather's Avatar Jedi Master of Piffleness
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I have also never heard of this.

Me - Quality Time
DH - I'll have to see if he will do the questions tonight, but my guess would be touch

I have no idea what my kids would be. Is there an online version for the kids?
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  #17  
January 27th, 2013, 05:03 PM
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For the kids I used the one for 9-12 year olds, it was the only one working for me the other day.
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  #18  
January 28th, 2013, 10:46 AM
*MomofO&Nat*'s Avatar Kelly, Massachusetts Mama
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I found the questions to be hard to answer. Some didn't apply to Evan at all. It did help me see how helpful and affectionate he is though because a ton of them were saying 'I want him to help more' (he does already) and then 'I want him to hug me more' (he does almost too often) so it made me feel good about what a great guy he is. But I felt like neither answer applied to us sometimes. The only one I answered 100% true was 'I want him to put down his iPhone and pay full attention to me'. Ugh. This is a major issue sometimes when I need to talk about something serious with him.
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  #19  
January 28th, 2013, 12:43 PM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
Join Date: Jan 2010
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I didn't take a quiz for my kids. I just used what I knew about the love languages and what I know about them to determine what I think their love language is. Pretty scientific huh? LOL!

I think that even if the questions are repetitive (which they are) it's still a way to get us talking to our DH or SO's about what we need in our relationships. Anything to open up those lines of communication can't hurt!

And I TOTALLY believe that your love language can change over time. QT has been mine for a very long time (even before kids) but I can see that changing later in life when I am an empty nester. We won't have anything but QT! LOL!
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  #20  
January 29th, 2013, 09:54 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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Location: MI
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We took the quiz about a month ago and have just started reading the books I'm pretty excited about it!

I am Words of Affirmation, followed closely by both Touch and Quality Time.

Dunley is Touch and Words of Affirmation

What I found interesting is that I tend to show love through Gifts and Acts of Service. It's been difficult for me to try to change my way of thinking to best show him love!

If I had to guess, I'd say Max is Quality Time. He loves being around people. That said, he loves Gifts too But he may just like getting new things and it may not make him feel loved I'll be interested to see as he gets older. I'd guess that Sams's would be Words of Affirmation
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