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Discipline methods


Forum: 2010 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By AtomicMama
  • 1 Post By RunningWithBoys

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  #1  
June 14th, 2013, 01:20 PM
krsnow's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Chicago
Posts: 642
Ok I am new here, so I will be asking tons of questions! Do you use any particular method of discipline for you child?

I have been trying to use 123 magic. It was recommended by a few friends that say it works. For me it works part of the time. Lately I have been more strict & consistent with time outs so Im noticing my LO will listen when I start counting. But, many times he doesn't listen and we have a big problem with running. He will run away from me in public and wont stop no matter what I do or say.
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  #2  
June 14th, 2013, 06:49 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
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I use 123 Magic with Betsy too and when I'm consistent with it, it works. I'll admit that right now I've gotten lazy with it and boy, does it show. I've been trying to get back into the swing of things with it and hopefully, we can get back on track.

As far as running away in public, she's pretty good about it. She's still usually in a cart or stroller when we're out and I only let her walk if we're doing a quick trip in and out. I have no problem giving her a time out in public (she still points out the bench next to the Target pharmacy and reminds me that's where we did a time out). Could you try that? I've also just left the establishment if she's acting up -- it doesn't happen very often but I have done it before.
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  #3  
June 15th, 2013, 07:01 AM
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123 magic for us as well and it works as long as we are sticking to the rules. With running away, we warn him to stay next to us, he he fails to listen he goes into the stroller and, oh boy, he does NOT like being in it.
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  #4  
June 16th, 2013, 10:39 AM
Pupcake74's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Consistency!
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  #5  
June 17th, 2013, 07:02 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
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Haven't read 123 magic, but from what the girls have talked about it, it sounds like we something quite similar, but I give them to 5 (don't ask me why I go to 5, but it started with DD1 and so here we are).

I also agree that consistency is important. They know if they are throwing a temper tantrum, they have to go to their room until they've been able to vent enough and are comfortable to come back to us controlled and able to listen or reason.
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  #6  
June 17th, 2013, 09:57 AM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
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I do count, but I haven't read 123 Magic. I'd like to. My issue is, DH and I are on very different pages when it comes to discipline. I tend to find the root of the issue and focus on that. He doesn't care what the root is, he just expects the kids to listen. We are trying to get on the same page, though. I'm also pretty big on natural consquences. Yesterday we were in the car. We had the radio on (DD loves the radio!). We pulled over on the side of the expressway, so DH and I could swap and I could drive (he was getting tired). The music got turned down, so we could focus in switching and getting back on the road safely. DD immediately asked for it to be turned up, and I aksed her to hold on for a moment until we got going again. She immediately started whining and repeatedly asking for the music to be turned up. Therefore, we just turned it off instead. It was an immediate and logical punishment.

We started attempting to do punishments like that as often as possible because we were noticing that when we sent them to their rooms or had more arbitry punishment they often couldn't tell us WHY they were being punished when we asked. We do have a time out chair in the kitchen that we use when there isn't a clear logical natural consequence.
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  #7  
June 17th, 2013, 03:52 PM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
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I do a hybrid of 123 Magic and natural consequences like Amy.

123 Magic just allows them to learn I am serious. Now that my 5 year old has been through 3 years of 123 magic, I barely have to count. For example, I say, "If you stick you hand out of the window I will roll it up." He knows I am serious because for three years once I got to 3, he had a consequence (time out). I got a great compliment from one of his counselors today. He's the youngest at camp and they said he was the 'best behaved'. Did that happen overnight? No. Did that even happen the first week of camp? No? He had to test his boundaries. He had to see how much he could get away with and who would let him. Once we chatted that if he was good X would happen and if he got a negative report X would happen, he turned into a different boy.

Children crave boundaries. Create them and then STICK to them.

My 2.5 year old was speech delayed and has some sensory issues which means when he gets frustrated he couldn't verbalize it, so he would hit. He knows at this point if he hits one time he goes straight to time out. I swear it felt like he was in time out for days....but he learned.

Good luck! Pick your rules and STICK to them. Know he is going to test you and it won't change overnight. Baby steps.

I forgot to mention the running. Luke is a runner. I don't use 123 magic because I don't want to have to choose between counting or saving him from being crushed by a car. So I always start carry him out of wherever we are. I give him a choice. You can walk like a big boy and hold my hand, or I will carry you. What do you want? He tested me for week. Every time he ran, I would catch him and scoop him up. He hated being carried when his big brother got to walk. Over time he learned, hold hand or be carried.
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  #8  
June 23rd, 2013, 10:40 PM
krsnow's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Chicago
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Thanks for your advice, and it makes me feel better. Today I feel like my LO was in timeout most of the afternoon. The hardest part for me is that I have to constantly leave my 9 mo old baby in the high chair or pack & play to deal with timeouts, and it just not fair to her especially during meal times. I'm so frustrated by it lately. I am definitely guilty of not being consistent so I need to fix that. Sometimes im so exhausted to get up and drag him to time out that I give him another chance or more warnings or let it go completely. (for time out, I use a booster chair on a carpeted floor facing a corner so that I can buckle him in) Most of the time I have to pick him up and carry him there because he wont go on his own. Then I use the microwave timer which is 2 rooms away from the corner so Im running back and forth. I guess I should buy a mini timer to keep in that room.

Starting tomorrow I am going to make an effort to stay consistent.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RunningWithBoys View Post
I do a hybrid of 123 Magic and natural consequences like Amy.

123 Magic just allows them to learn I am serious. Now that my 5 year old has been through 3 years of 123 magic, I barely have to count. For example, I say, "If you stick you hand out of the window I will roll it up." He knows I am serious because for three years once I got to 3, he had a consequence (time out). I got a great compliment from one of his counselors today. He's the youngest at camp and they said he was the 'best behaved'. Did that happen overnight? No. Did that even happen the first week of camp? No? He had to test his boundaries. He had to see how much he could get away with and who would let him. Once we chatted that if he was good X would happen and if he got a negative report X would happen, he turned into a different boy.

Children crave boundaries. Create them and then STICK to them.

My 2.5 year old was speech delayed and has some sensory issues which means when he gets frustrated he couldn't verbalize it, so he would hit. He knows at this point if he hits one time he goes straight to time out. I swear it felt like he was in time out for days....but he learned.

Good luck! Pick your rules and STICK to them. Know he is going to test you and it won't change overnight. Baby steps.

I forgot to mention the running. Luke is a runner. I don't use 123 magic because I don't want to have to choose between counting or saving him from being crushed by a car. So I always start carry him out of wherever we are. I give him a choice. You can walk like a big boy and hold my hand, or I will carry you. What do you want? He tested me for week. Every time he ran, I would catch him and scoop him up. He hated being carried when his big brother got to walk. Over time he learned, hold hand or be carried.
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