[Crystal713]

The funeral director came over today and explained to me that I had to sign away my rights to the funeral arrangements to my grandmother so that they can pay for it. I asked him if that meant she can keep me from the funeral and he said yes. He said if I dont sign it then I have to pay him right now, 2000 dollars. I dont have 2000 dollars so I had no choice but to sign it. So its signed and I have no rights and I will be missing my dads funeral.

[ChelseasAwesome]

I'm so sorry that your family is making this time even harder on you by being so petty. I am sure that your father understands and you can pay him your respects without having to spend time in a room with those people.

[aussiechick28]

That really sucks. I would ask the funeral director if there's a way that you can sign away decision making authority but not complete rights in regards to being able to attend etc.

I've never had to deal with this, so I don't know how it works, but it seems crazy to me that anyone can stop you from attending your own father's funeral, regardless of who is paying for it.

[mommamindy]

That's aweful! Now you have me angry for you!!! I can't believe they can get away with doing that! I'm so sorry for you!

[Stellas Mommy]

Never ever sign anything without a lawyer present. You don't have to pay anything, and you dont have to sign anything ever. Funerals do not work like that and they do not have requirements to go to someones remembrance.

Don't tell me you really signed it right...

[Crystal713]

Yes I did have to pay or thre would be NO funeral. You cant just refuse payment and expect them to give you anything in return. No I didnt have to sign the paper but then I am responsible for the bill which I dont have the money for and they do not take payments. There would be no service, no obituary, nothing if they are not paid.

[Stellas Mommy]

Who said that you would have to pay anything though? Did you sign a piece of paper with your family saying that you will split the costs of the funeral or something?

(My father is an attorney lol, like father like daughter)

[Crystal713]

If I did not sign that paper then I am claiming that I want to be responsible for all costs of the funeral. Whoever is in charge of the funeral HAS to pay for it up front before they will even do the funeral. No payments accepts, no payment plans, its 2000 up front today so he can have a service friday. That is what the funeral home director told me. My mom was cremated in the same funeral home and the same rules applied to her. We had to have the money before they would do anything with her.

[AllisonC]

I'm speechless! I can't believe that a grandmother would do that to her grandchild.

I have never been through what you're going through, but to me that just doesn't sound legal that you would have to pay the 2K. You didn't pick that funeral home and you're not doing the arrangements, how would you be responsible for paying anything. Your family is doing all the arrangements, so they're the ones signing to pay for it. It sounds like a scam on your family's part that the funeral director came over and said sign this and don't come to the funeral or you're responsible for paying!?!? A funeral director can't come to a 3rd party and demand payment. I mean, is that legal? Your family has really out done themselves now.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one should have to deal with the death of a father and then have all the family baggage to go along with it. I'm so sorry for my vent, I'm just so upset for you. ((((HUGS)))) If I were you, I would show up anyway.

[Mommy2Aiden]

I am so sorry to hear that. Funeral homes are sticklers from our experience. They do not give you anything with out immediate payment and arrangements.

[Stellas Mommy]

The significant other is held responsible for the costs of the funeral. Then they can ask for help from the family. But for them to try to have the daughter pay for 2k of the funeral sounds kinda fishy to me. Even though you didnt sign any papers saying you would do it. It makes it even more fishy that you would have to pay it or not come.

I would really talk to a professional about it. Nothing about this is sounding right to me.

I wish people would be more grown up and not do this to family. I really am sorry for all your family has dont. It's not right at all. Poor girl.

[Crystal713]

Originally Posted by AllisonC

I'm speechless! I can't believe that a grandmother would do that to her grandchild.

I have never been through what you're going through, but to me that just doesn't sound legal that you would have to pay the 2K. You didn't pick that funeral home and you're not doing the arrangements, how would you be responsible for paying anything. Your family is doing all the arrangements, so they're the ones signing to pay for it. It sounds like a scam on your family's part that the funeral director came over and said sign this and don't come to the funeral or you're responsible for paying!?!? A funeral director can't come to a 3rd party and demand payment. I mean, is that legal? Your family has really out done themselves now.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. No one should have to deal with the death of a father and then have all the family baggage to go along with it. I'm so sorry for my vent, I'm just so upset for you. ((((HUGS)))) If I were you, I would show up anyway.

I am next of kin which means I get first choice if I want to be responsible. If I didnt sign that paper and I paid for the funeral I would have been responsible for ALL arrangments and I could have changed anything I wanted to change. They just did all the arrangements themselves blindly hoping that I would sign the paper, the really had no right to do any arrangements at all unless I signed. If I had the 2000 dollars I would have just arranged it myself but I dont have that kind of money today so I pretty much had to sign it over. I am actually the person that should have picked the funeral home, and made the arrangements. I couldnt do that though because he died at his sisters home, the one who hates me and I was not allowed over there. She threatened to call the police if I went over there so I had no choice which funeral home they called.

[Stellas Mommy]

Why is your family so horrible and heartless!!!

[Isaeph]

Wow, I'm sorry. That's so horrible.

[Natalie_Snow]

I am so sorry your family is so heartless . {HUGS}

[Crystal713]

I talked to my older sister and she seems to think we should just go anyway and if they tells us to leave then oh well. So we might just go and let them confront us with the cruelty. Maybe they will just ignore us and let us be there, or maybe they wont. Not sure I want to get kicked out though, that would be embarrassing.

[Stellas Mommy]

I would totally just show up too. Can they really deny you?

[AllisonC]

I would show up. Surely they wouldn't make a big seen in front of everyone, but I don't know.

[feythful]

It might be embarrassing, but I would think it would be more embarrassing for them to be ugly to you in front of all those people. I think you should go. Maybe they won't show their rears in front of everyone.

[mshel]

That is awful. I'm so sorry your family is being like this.