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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
July 1st, 2010, 11:14 PM
Solstice76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: California
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In the loss threads anymore please don't think I am insensitive. I think that they are affecting me badly, I keep having dreams and thoughts that I lose my baby or that something is wrong. I am REALLY scared. I have gone through 2 early losses a few years back but they where 6 weeks and earlier and they where m/c that I had at home. I am scared of having my u/s and seeing nothing, I think in part it is also my conscience that is bugging me since up to a couple of weeks ago I was not very happy to be pregnant. Now I feel like if these ladies that tried to have their babies and wanted them before they where conceived lose their babies then I "deserve" to lose mine. I don't want to lose my baby I didn't want five children but now that I am pregnant and have come to terms I want my baby with all my heart.

I have decided not to read loss threads as well as stop googleing since I am high risk and find so many negative scenarios if I read. Thanks for reading.
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  #2  
July 1st, 2010, 11:21 PM
mommy2mykiddos's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I can totally relate that to hun. Big hugs <3
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  #3  
July 1st, 2010, 11:55 PM
CountryGirl1982's Avatar Loving my son!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Maine
Posts: 1,139
You know, I can totally agree and understand this. I was thinking the same thing tonight after reading a few of them. I begun crying and worrying. I'm going to wait til after my first OB apt and feel more comfortable w/ this first pregnancy thing. My heart does go out to everyone who has the loss, but it too is makin me terrified!
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  #4  
July 2nd, 2010, 12:05 AM
Solstice76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thanks Ladies I am not insensitive I swear. Every night I add all my buddies to my prayers and ask God that in the end we have healthy mommies holding healthy babies.
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  #5  
July 2nd, 2010, 12:10 AM
RayneLynn's Avatar Pregnant Tattoo Artist
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Location: Cocoa, FL
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I feel the same way...very sorry for the losses some ladies have experienced, but as I get farther along in the first trimester I'm trying to stay as positive about it as possible. As others have told me, it's fine to read and respond to what feels comfortable and leave the rest. I've had some crazy nightmares lately, too, to the point where I'm now sort of screening the movies and shows I watch and what I Google. I have my first bloodwork appointment on Tuesday (I'll be 10 weeks) and my anxiety is at an all-time high as it approaches. I'm terrified that we won't have a heartbeat, that the heartbeat will be weak or irregular, or that something bad will come back in the testing days later after everything is seemingly fine. So many worries!
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  #6  
July 2nd, 2010, 12:22 AM
Solstice76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RayneLynn View Post
I feel the same way...very sorry for the losses some ladies have experienced, but as I get farther along in the first trimester I'm trying to stay as positive about it as possible. As others have told me, it's fine to read and respond to what feels comfortable and leave the rest. I've had some crazy nightmares lately, too, to the point where I'm now sort of screening the movies and shows I watch and what I Google. I have my first bloodwork appointment on Tuesday (I'll be 10 weeks) and my anxiety is at an all-time high as it approaches. I'm terrified that we won't have a heartbeat, that the heartbeat will be weak or irregular, or that something bad will come back in the testing days later after everything is seemingly fine. So many worries!
Google is helpful but can be evil depending what we search. I will be 10 weeks next Tuesday too. I will continue to keep you in my prayers and that all your results show a PERFECT little baby
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  #7  
July 2nd, 2010, 03:32 AM
allibaby's Avatar Super Mommy
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As Rayne said, read the happy stories if you want and leave the rest. I like that when you roll over a topic with your mouse, a little popup shows you a preview of the post. I sometimes stay away from the sad threads because it can get in my head if someone's situation is similar to mine and causes unnecessary stress. I feel for those ladies though .. it must be hard. If a leave of absence is what you need, then by all means, you should take it. We'll miss you though.
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  #8  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:22 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Solstice76 View Post
Thanks Ladies I am not insensitive I swear. Every night I add all my buddies to my prayers and ask God that in the end we have healthy mommies holding healthy babies.
You are not insensitive! Thank you for sympathy on my loss... i totally understand.
Take care of yourself and always think positive. Enjoy your journey. H&H!
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  #9  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:24 AM
Spacey Stacy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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it is totally understandable *hugs*
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  #10  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:49 AM
Stephanie_M's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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That is definitely understandable hun! Some days I feel the same way and worry about everything and anything. You are not insensitive at all!
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  #11  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:58 AM
RinkMom's Avatar Super Hockey Mom
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That is totally understandable. I also feel guilty because I am having #5 and some of these ladies are trying so hard to have #1. But it has been a tough road to get to this baby for me and I am scared something is going to happen. I am a bad Googler too, it surely doesn't help and wish I could stop. Hugs!
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  #12  
July 2nd, 2010, 06:08 AM
Mrs.Ajalele's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I understand and am the same way. I feel so bad for not posting anything but they break my heart and scare me so much. I am really trying not to freak out over every little thing and just enjoy everyday. My heart really does go out to them but I am so scared at this point that I need to just be positive..
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  #13  
July 2nd, 2010, 07:27 AM
Lucky Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You're not insensitive at all! In fact, it sounds like you are very sensitive to me, sweetie! So sensitive that seeing others go through hard times causes you real distress about your own little one. I think your feelings are totally normal. First trimesters are always difficult in DDCs for sure.

If you need to stay away from the sad posts, I don't think anyone would fault you for it. I hope you are leaving us altogether, though. I love reading your posts and comments. I think for now, just posting on the lighthearted and happy threads would help you avoid unnecessary stress and anguish.

Hugs to you!
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  #14  
July 2nd, 2010, 08:04 AM
katinagj's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I've had two early losses as well, and decided about a week ago to avoid them too. I just can't handle that kind of stress. I have been having m/c dreams along with other nightmares everynight. And reading about the losses makes me freak out, especially after all these nightmares. It's totally understandable!
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  #15  
July 2nd, 2010, 08:41 AM
Lovin' Landon's Avatar I believe in Angels!
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I'm very scared too! But, I know that if I don't keep trying for what I want, that will defeat me. I don't know what I would do if these two are born premature, but I know there are great doctor's here. I know Aidan is protecting his brother and the babies growing inside me. If you got pregnant, there's a reason. It can take a while to be happy about it if you weren't trying, no shame in that. Take it easy and remember, you do deserve your baby, just as much as your baby deserves you!
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  #16  
July 2nd, 2010, 12:59 PM
Greeneeyess77's Avatar Super Mommy
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I feel the same way!!! I need to stay positive thoughout my pregnancy and I need to stop googling as well!!! Happy thoughts only!!! Thank you for expressing what I was thinking!!!
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  #17  
July 2nd, 2010, 03:07 PM
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Dr. Google is evil! I tell myself that all the time, yet I can't help it. I definitely understand where you are coming from. I've had 3 early losses and everything that has happened here is scary! We completely understand and don't think any different of you!
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  #18  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:34 PM
SherrieAnn's Avatar 1st time Mama FEB2011
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xoxo!
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  #19  
July 2nd, 2010, 05:40 PM
nelle15's Avatar Veteran
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Location: louisiana
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I understand how you feel! Everytime I see a post about a loss I'm so upset for the family and scared for myself, then I feel bad for thinking about myself.
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  #20  
July 2nd, 2010, 08:23 PM
Solstice76's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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You ladies are awesome!
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