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I think it's incredibly rude that after we "officially" annouced to the "world" (facebook - sad that that's what it comes to these days) on Friday, not one.single.friend of my SO's has congratulated us. We even went to his best friend's house and told him and his wife and his friend said "nicely done"...which for him is a sort of "congrats" but his wife didn't say A WORD...not one congrats the whole half hour we were there, not even as we were leaving. This couple just had a baby a year ago, just celebrated his 1st birthday in July, and ever since that baby was born we both have doted on him like crazy. I've always sent thank you messages whenver she's sent us pics and what not...whereas my SO won't (he's not impolite...he's just a "man" I guess), so I always make sure that I do.
Another friend of his, just got engaged, and, of course, had to tell the whole world the instant it happened. We were genuinely happy for her, and replied to both her texts to us and facebook messages. That was about 2 weeks ago. I've seen her on facebook since then, and she even posted to my SO's wall..but failed to acknowledge the picture of the positive pregnancy test he had on his wall or all the messages on my page. I just think it's rude.
I'm honestly wondering what the problem with all of his friends is. Is it the fact that we are not married? Is it that I have 2 children already by another man, whom I was married to? Is it that my kids and I live with my SO and he has a steady job while I don't "work" (I stay home and provide childcare to some kids afterschool and one little boy in the evenings). Are they judging me because of this? I tried working when the kids and I moved in with SO but they had been used to me being a SAHM with my ex, and it created issues...not to mention between gas, diapers (now potty-trained) and babysitter, I made $0 to save. Little do they know that SO was the one that told me I should go back to staying home with the kids until they went to school. He suggested it, and fully supported me doing it and STILL stands behind it.
I know I'm making a lot of assumptions here but I guess I just feel like, from the outside looking in, here's this woman, with two kids, that moves in with this guy (their friend) who has a stable job, is financially responsible, etc...and then gets pregnant with his baby. I guess I can see their hesitation (if that's what it is). Honestly though, if they knew their friend at all, they'd know for a fact that he's not a man to make "mistakes". We have talked about kids, we used protection for awhile and then had a few times where we didn't...where we both KNEW what the "consequences" were and it's not something either of us takes lightly. He's 28, I'm 26..we're grown and very responsible adults.
The way I see it, their good friend is about to be a father, and whether they like me or not (because of misjudging me..I'm NOT a horrible person!) or regardless of whatever assumptions they may have about me...he loves me, and I love him, and we both love my children and will love this one just the same. When it comes down to it, I think that's all that matters..and I wish they could see that their friend is elated over this and atleast have the decency to congratulate him.
Ok. Sorry, rant over. Again, I know that I've made a lot of assumptions here...forgive me, I'm hormonal. These are just the thoughts I'm having right now. Thanks for listening.
That does seem pretty rude. It isn't that hard to simply say "congratulations." Whether other people are supportive of your pregnancy or not, doesn't make it any less joyous for you or you SO and they can all just go kick rocks if they can't be happy for the both of you.
Screw them all, I'm happy for you. I find it odd for people to be so selfish that they can't even be happy for others. DH's family is like that when it comes to how they treat me, but ya know what...SCREW THEM! DH and I love each other and they can kiss my arse.
The only thing that makes me think they acted this way is because maybe they aren't sure if the baby was planned (just cause you aren't married)...but that shouldn't matter. People are Asshats and should learn to grow up.
Congrats on conceiving out of wedlock, but while madly in love. The kids are happiest when their parents are in love, not because they are married. Just ask the kids who live with married parents that don't love each other!
I'm so sorry that you have been treated this way! This is one of the most exciting things in the world and people should at least have the couth to congratulate you. Like others said- we'll be here for all the support you need because we're THRILLED for you!
Aww you ladies are great! Thank you so much for the kind words. I do have a lot of friends on my side that ARE excited for us, and all of my family is overjoyed, so that makes me feel a ton better too. It's just always sad to see people's true colors in certain situations, especially when you've held them in such high regard. Even though I haven't known his friends nearly as long as he has, I've treated them as though I have and have gone out of my way, out of our way, to help them out or just show our support. So yeah, it's hard to see those people not even wanting to acknowledge this baby, but I know *I'll* be fine, I'm more hurt for him.