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Forum: 2011 Playroom


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October 4th, 2010, 01:59 PM
PennyLane1121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 1,870
I hope you don't mind my venting...I'm extremely hormonal and everyone I try talking to with the exception of my cousin, seems to be against me. So lemme give you the back story and try not to judge (im paranoid from all the negativity ive been getting).

So I was married to a military guy who seemed perfect but wasn't. He cheated on me several times and started drinking on the weekends leaving me home with the baby...blah blah blah. We eventually split and he remarried less than a week after our divorce was finalized. We had been separated since around March of 09. Divorced in November. I started seeing a friend of my brothers, who was considerably younger than I. No one approved of course, but there was a fire there unlike anything I've ever known. We are still together, we live together and he has taken care of my son like he was his own since the first time we kissed (March of 09). Yet no one likes him at all cause hes not in the military, so he cant possibly provide for me. And because of his age. We have had rough patches but I love him so much, I could never walk away. And now we are having a baby. And my dad, boss, friends, just act like its not happening. When I talk about it they say that I should have waited at least six months longer. I'm not doing things the way they want so I'm awful. I have a job, a nice place, reliable transportation, the only thing I ask of my dad is to watch my son one day a week so I can work. I never go out and party. We don't drink or do drugs. Oh and now cause Im not married, this child isnt anything to be excited about. I feel like its something to be ashamed of. Im happy, and nervous. My fiance (he asked me to marry him in March of this year) is over the moon happy, and so is Fox. Yet when I tell people, people that I need excitement and support from, its like all they do is point out the fact that I'm having a baby with a younger man out of wedlock. I mean what century are we in? Its okay to have a baby with a man who cheats on me repeatedly but not with someone who actually loves me just because he's young and doesn't make as much money??? I'm so hurt by these peoples reactions. Especially my dad. He said "great, now youre gonna have two babys without any daddys." What the heck??? Im in a relationship!!!

Thanks so much for letting me get this out. Theres more but Ive aired enough dirty laundry for now. I can't wait to have this baby. This baby is very much wanted by his/her parents. I know thats all that should matter, but its hard when you keep hearing awful comments on a daily basis. I pretty much have pretend its not happening with everyone. Bummer.

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October 4th, 2010, 02:15 PM
BlueEyes09's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,039
OMG! People need to grow up! Babies (in and out of wedlock) are gifts to be celebrated. You are totally right to be upset with the way people are treating you. There is no reason for them to be upset with the choices you have made in your life, and if I were you I would of done the same exact thing. Love is not defined by age, race or gender....LOVE = LOVE! and it's about time your family saw that the deadbeat ex is not what love is or ever will be.

Congrats on finding a wonderful man who will support you as well as be the wonderful daddy that your children deserve. Definitely keep doing what you do...your children will thank you for surrounding them with love.

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October 4th, 2010, 02:24 PM
PennyLane1121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Jacksonville, Florida
Posts: 1,870
Thank you so much. I really need the support. Last time I was pregnant, it was to save a failing marriage (horrible reason, I was young...but it was the best decision ever) yet people celebrated it. It was a pleasant experience support wise. Now its the opposite. Ive done everything my daddy asked me to do. In school full time, work full time, live in my own place, and i do one thing he doesn't approve of and its like none of it matters. Its like a control thing. Maybe im just over sensitive. But again, thank you.

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October 4th, 2010, 02:36 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Virginia Beach ,VA
Posts: 3,789
Well If I were you I would be totally POd ! They should be there supporting you and helping you . You got out of a bad marriage and are taking care of your child !You sound like you have your sh*** together to me. They should be happy for you !

Go you for getting a younger man that wants to be a Dad to you son and unborn baby!

I would tell them where they can shove it !


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October 4th, 2010, 02:51 PM
Bermuda Girl's Avatar Andrea Jack & Olive's mom
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Somewhere cold!
Posts: 6,114
Oh sweetie - I am so sorry that everyone is being so negative. Hugs. Every and any baby is a blessing and they are the unfortunate one who are missing out on this special time.

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October 4th, 2010, 03:09 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Wister, OK
Posts: 2,082
sorry everyone is being negative.

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October 4th, 2010, 03:35 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 10,537
I am sorry that everybody around you is being so negative. It is none of their business what you do, and you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders.

Your family will come around. It is still so early and maybe it just doesn't seem real to them yet. My dad was PISSED at me when I got pregnant with DD even though DH and I had been engaged for a year and together for 4 years, simply because we weren't married. He loves his granddaughter more than anything in the world now. I know it's a long hard road to feel like you are going through it alone, but in the end everybody will love this baby.
Shelley, mom to:

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October 4th, 2010, 04:11 PM
Mommy2tb3's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 94
I am so sorry to hear about that! I sounds like they are the ones that need to go up! Keep your head up! You know that your happy and you don't need them to be happy! What you want and need are right there in front of you!

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October 5th, 2010, 01:03 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 5,287
First of all, CONGRATS to you AND your SO on your pregnancy. I'm in a similar boat...I was married to my kids' father, am no longer, and now we (the kids and I) are living with my SO and I'm pregnant with his child. Some people are thrilled about it, but there are others who are looking at this as a negative thing even though SO and I are excited! It's his first child and he couldn't be more ecstatic over the idea, yet it's some of his friends who are acting like this doesn't matter to them. I posted a long venting thread about it one day and these ladies told me the same thing they're telling you.....tell those people to shove it. They can either be happy for you, or not be involved, but all that matters is that you and your SO will love this baby..that's the most important thing.

Formerly known as "mommynina"

Thank you Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggy!
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