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Who would have thought our ride to parenthood would have been filled with so many bumps and curves? When I got my first positive pregnancy test about 2 years ago (11/02 will make it 2 years) we didn't think anything could happen. The thought never entered our minds.
We shared the news with our families who jumped and screamed for joy as it would be both sides first grandchild. Everything was going normally except I was measuring a little behind and never got a bump. I rented a doppler to ease my fears and used it several times a day. On the 3rd day of having the doppler I couldn't find our baby's heartbeat. It was a Friday, I was 17 weeks and it seemed normal not to be able to find it sometimes. But I had a feeling something wasn't right. I kept trying to find it all weekend and waited to Monday when I had a Dr appt. The Dr couldn't find it either so we did an ultrasound which shower our baby had passed.
That was the most devastating day of my life. My Dr sucked and I had to pull all these strings to get in with different doctors in order to get a D&C. It freaked me out to have my dead baby in me. on 1/31/09 I had the surgery to remove my baby, they also did an amnio to see if there were any chromosomal abnormalities. 2 weeks later we went back for our follow up where they told us our baby was a perfectly healthy girl. I named her Sarah. We still don't know why we lost her.
In May 09 my DH (Ed) left for some military training but it was close enough to home that he could come home some weekends. I got pregnant one weekend when I thought I had already ovulated. My test never got dark and I miscarried our second baby alone in the Dr's office at 4 weeks and a few days.
I began to suffer from anxiety after this loss. Where I'd have to take myself to the ER because I had chest pain. Ed didn't finish training until the end of July so I was alone for 2 months after our loss which I'm pretty sure caused the anxiety. I also didn't think it was something that could happen again.
In August we go to visit our family in Florida when I realized I was late but spotting. I took a test and got a faint positive and a positive digital. 2 days later I woke up covered in blood. I had suffered a chemical pregnancy.
I've had a lot of testing done since then by several different doctors. NOTHING unusual has come up. Nothing! While this has been a relief for my DH it has been a source of torture for me. If there was something we could fix it but we don't have any answers. I went to a fertility specialist in March '10 and was told I have borderline PCOS - some of the symptoms but not all so they put me on metformin. They say met is a slow acting drug, taking up to 6 months to work.
It took us 7 months since starting the met and 13 months to get pregnant again. I tested 10/08/10 and got a positive at 10dpo! My lines have been consistently getting darker and darker.
I have sore boobs, nauseas moments, constipation extreme hunger moments. I feel pregnant. Today I am 6 weeks pregnant. This is farther than pregnancy number 2 and 3. We saw a heartbeat at our ER trip (because I had some brown spotting) on 5 weeks 5 days.
Everything looks good so far but it is so scary to know what can happen at any time. My anxiety has actually been well controlled with my DH's support. I try not to focus on it much and just move forward and focus on the task at hand. I'm a teacher which helps time move quicker and my mind stay occupied.
Besides the metformin, I am also taking baby asprin on my own. Though I've told everyone I'm on it and nobody has said anything about it. I've done my own research and have found that baby asprin and metformin actually can decrease your chances of miscarriage. Hopefully this is my ticket to a healthy beautiful baby.
We love you already little bean! Please stay with us, I promise to be the best mom I could be to you.
Last edited by Sue46; October 23rd, 2010 at 06:05 AM.
Donna you know I'll stalk you too once you get your BFP! I appreciate all the good thoughts.
So today at 6 weeks 3 days morning sickness is in full force. I was trying to get some frozen chicken out of the freezer when it just hit me. I had to run to the bathroom where I just gagged and spit up. DH had to pack my lunch and everything after that.
The rest of the day was spent pretty much just like that. Feeling really crappy and lots of gagging. I wanted the sickness since its a sign of everything going well so I don't want to complain but it does feel yucky.
Oh and just for the record at 5 weeks 5 days I went to the ER all freaked out because I noticed some brown spotting in my CM. I was terrified. We waited in the waiting room 4 hrs to be called back. They did a pelvic exam and said my cervix was closed, then did an internal u/s. The probe came out with brown gunk but nothing red. They didn't see any reason for the spotting BUT we did see the flicker of our little bean's heart!! After the ER trip I did have a little more spotting that night and then again, 1 spot the next morning. Nothing else since.
I don't want to jinx it but I really feel like I'm going to bring this baby home, alive and healthy in June.
Yay for seeing the heartbeat! That is wonderful news! I'm sorry to hear about the morning sickness. It's definitely rough but it is nice reassurance that things are going well. Mine is finally tapering off and I've noticed if I try to eat something small every two hours it really seems to help. Hope you feel better soon!
My morning sickness is still around in full force. I can't believe I already have a bit of a belly. I'm going to need to go buy maternity pants this weekend. I'm also going to have to go buy bigger bras since my current bras are getting to small and tight.
Most days even when I feel yucky I forget that I'm pregnant. It doesn't feel real. God, I'm praying so hard things continue the way they have been and this baby comes to us in June. Its so hard to let myself get excited.
DH is finally letting his guard down with the pregnancy as well and has started talking to my belly. Its so sweet but man it just means that we'll both be crushed if this ends before it truly starts again.
3 more weeks until my 10 week doctor appt and ultrasound. I think I'll relax a lot more after that visit. I've also been wanting to buy something for this baby already. We never bought anything for our first baby and I kinda feel like if we buy something now, it'll represent our positive thinking for our hopeful positive outcome.
thanks for sharing your story! unfortuantly, I have a similar background, although all mine were early losses (6 of them) it makes ttc and being pregnant very scary. Its like you are on the edge of your seat all the time, waiting for the ball to drop at any moment, but hoping it doesnt. I really believe that having a positive attitude can make a difference! Thinking of you and your bean, and hoping we can both be holding our babies in June!