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Mommy Guilt, those with more than one


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
January 26th, 2011, 11:22 AM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: SW Ontario, Canada
Posts: 7,024
There's a thread talking about Mommy Guilt from going back to work, after the baby, but is any one else noticing Mommy Guilt for other things?

I've noticed my mommy guilt has really picked up recently.

With my first I had her enrolled in different activites by the time she was 3, before she was 3 I took her to free community playgroups. She had friends and social skills before she started school.

With my younger daughter, I don't even think she knows what a playgroup is! I haven't taken her at all, she's not enrolled in any activities, and she has no friends her age. I'm not saying she doesn't play with other kids, she plays with her sister's friends, and she gets dragged to all her big sister's ringette games where she plays with the other little sibblings, but nothing that is just for her.

I've started thinking, if I've been this "lazy" for lack of a better word with #2, what on earth is poor #3 going to have to put up with? Mommy guilt has really hit me.
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  #2  
January 26th, 2011, 11:39 AM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Ontario, Canada
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The only thing I feel guilty about right now is that I am too tired to be overly active with DD. She doesn't seem to mind much, but now and then, when mommy doesn't feel like dancing and spinning with her, there is a bit of a meltdown, and I feel guilty.

I'm sure it will only get worse when baby gets here. I'm going to have to keep on my toes and do everything I can to involve her.
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  #3  
January 26th, 2011, 11:42 AM
Happy Mommy
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Location: Midwest
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Yes. but not so much #1 to #2, because #2 usually went to the same things, and they def do now that they are older. but I do thinking about this baby. it'll be darn near 7 years younger then my youngest, and they have activities already established, so I feel bad because this one will be along for the ride alot, i think
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  #4  
January 26th, 2011, 11:42 AM
Lo_and_Behold's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: New York
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to Angie

To the OP,
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  #5  
January 26th, 2011, 11:43 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Not so much for me. The only thing I feel guilty about is that I'm home for Daniel and I was not for Sarah & James. I don't think I was at a place where I could have stayed home with Sarah & James, though.
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  #6  
January 26th, 2011, 12:15 PM
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Location: Michigan
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I feel the classic mommy guilt of moms of 2 or more...I feel guilty about how much time I spend with each child. I still feel like I don't give my first DD as much attention as the second, and now adding a 3rd into the mix, I'm sure I'll feel guilty about giving the baby more attention than them.
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  #7  
January 26th, 2011, 01:54 PM
.stargirl.'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 4,141
I already feel the guilt too. DD will be 24 months when the baby is born, and she is very attached to me. She can be quite jealous, so I really hope she adjusts okay after the baby is born.
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  #8  
January 26th, 2011, 02:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by .stargirl. View Post
I already feel the guilt too. DD will be 24 months when the baby is born, and she is very attached to me. She can be quite jealous, so I really hope she adjusts okay after the baby is born.
L was just 27 months when C was born, and I was soooo worried. It had been just her and I for the last year or so, and I didn't know what she'd do, we had a few bumps (like the first time she saw me BFing C) but I would go visit my mom, and leave C with her so L and I could go to target or get ice cream or whatever. I didn't take long at all, befor L would get mad when we would leave "her baby" at grandma's house and not bring her with. I bet she'll do okay
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  #9  
January 26th, 2011, 02:18 PM
erjo's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 354
You are giving your children an inexpressible gift in siblings, though. I truly believe that. Yes, some of the younger/middle kids tend to get lost in the shuffle, and we do have to be careful to make sure they're getting their chance to be just them, to do just their thing. But the friendship between my two boys is absolutely precious to me, much more important than whether life is fair from one sibling to the next.

Mommy guilt is normal, and I think it serves a purpose because it keeps us accountable to make sure we're doing the best for each one of our kids, but don't be too hard on yourself. Teach your kids to love each other, help each other, rely on each other, and you are giving them a far more wonderful gift than you would be by driving them around all day making sure every aspect of their lives is "fair."

Just my twelve cents. LOL.
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  #10  
January 26th, 2011, 03:02 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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I hate to say it, but my mommy guilt is totally different. There are so many things tied to my loss that I feel guilty about...that with my living kids, I know I'm trying to do the best I can and when I have shortcomings I tend to go easy on myself. After feeling guilty for "letting" your baby die, how can you feel guilty for anything else?
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