[CartersMommy]

A post in snowed in got me wondering how often does your LO/LO's see there grandparents? Are you happy with the amount of visiting?


My kids see my mom and sometimes Dad once a week. My mom comes down one evening a week and brings dinner and helps me bath the kids (when DH is working late). She also sees them randomly on the weekends if we go for a visit or lunch after church not every week but occasionally. My inlaws go to our church so they see the kids for 10 minutes after service (enough they can show them off ) but besides that, they may come once every few months to our house to see them.....

I am fine with how much they see them I used to get upset that my inlaws barley see them, but then I realized it was their loss and I have gotten more and more used to it and honestly it is better this way less drama I have to deal with. I am happy that my mom comes regularly and I think once a week is the perfect amount for us

[austinmommy3]

Chris's parents live in Philly, they fly down quite a bit and we usually go for at least a month in the summer. My family all lives 7-8 hours away and are pretty self involved and see them maybe twice to three times a year. DS1 has a different grandmother than my younger two, but she treats them all as her grandbabies. She lives in San Antonio so we see her pretty often.

[Isaeph]

We haven't seen my parents in almost a year now, my choice. eta-it's their choice technically for being unwilling to admit my lifetime of abuse and get help for themselves.

Dh's dad will probably never see the kids. The last time dh saw him was in 2006 before we moved from Phx to OR, but he was alone for the visit. He never met #1.

Dh's mom is flying up this summer (gosh, budget permitting, we're buying her ticket...hopefully! It's been a rough month here) and she'll get to meet #2, #3, and #4. The last time she saw #1 was in April 06.

I'm ok with the frequency of visits too. MIL smokes and I don't know how I'm going to handle that in June. Obviously, there will be NO smoking in our house or close to the doors, but I really cringe at the thought of her holding/touching/breathing on my kids. She's a nice lady, I just wish she'd quit before she got here. I might die of stress.

[MomtoParker]

My mom comes to visit about every other weekend. My dad was coming every weekend, but those visits have tapered off and I am not surprised.

My DH's step-dad has only been down twice, once at the birth and a week ago. His mom was here a couple weeks after the birth. His dad came to the hospital the day before we were released. Granted, we didn't tell him we were pregnant until I was in the hospital...kind of a drama situation...

I think it can get overwhelming with how much my mom is here, but I am glad that she wants to see him and I understand. I am irritated at some of the lack of excitement that the ILs have about him. It gets annoying that they don't seem to care...

[AllisonC]

My parents see the kids about 1 time a week. Sometimes more when DD1 is out of school for spring break, summer, etc. My in-laws live about 20 minutes from us and they see the kids about once a month. My MIL is retired and does nothing all day and my FIL passes our house to go to work every day.....so, really no excuse for them not to come visit. But, they choose not to for whatever reason. They are really heavy smokers, so I'm kinda glad they don't come around much because I cringe when they hold the baby. Their smoking is the reason we dont go to their house.

ETA: Their smoking is one of the reasons we don't go to their house.

[Larissa.]

My mom sees him once every week or so. That's more than enough for me. She's good with him, I personally just get annoyed with her. He hasn't met DF's parents yet since they live out of state. They're planning a trip next month which I'm not happy about. I don't care about FIL but I hate my MIL and really don't want her around him at all.

[midwifemama]

My mom has seen my DD everyday since she was born. My dad sees her probably 2-3/wk when we go to my parent's house for a visit instead of my mom coming to visit us. My FIL babysits for us sometime and sees DD about once a week. He wants to see her more I think but says he feels awkward just stopping by or inviting himself over though we tell him we don't mind at all. My mom doesn't just stop by to visit though. She comes over to help out a lot and we spend a lot of time together like going grocery shopping together or on walks. Yesterday DD and I went with her to one of her doc. appts and out to lunch afterwards and me, my mom and DD are going to FL together next week. Sometimes I wonder if my husband minds my mom is around so much, but I think he kind of likes it b/c it gives him some alone time when I am with her.

[mommy x 10]

My dad it just depends. He works a lot but he will come just to see the kids and tries to make it to all of their birthdays. The older ones have spent the night with him a couple times.

My mom usually comes over whenever she has a day off and she'll let some of them spend the night too when she has 2 days off together. We let them spend the night when they are old enough to ask to. Our younger boys tried to once but they both cried a bit, especially my 3 year old. I thought he'd be fine since his brother and a couple sisters were there but he wasn't quite ready yet. He's fine for the day.

I'm satisfied with it. We let our kids spend the night when they are old enough to want to but I'd rather have them home with us. I always miss them even if it is just one night.

[LalaCupit]

I'm very happy with how much my parents see the kids. My Mom comes over several times a week(she doesn't work) to hang out with us. She helps me go to places like the museum, where it would be hard for me to handle all 4 by myself. We go to their house every Saturday or Sunday, and also see them at church on Sunday and have dinner on Sunday. I love that they're such a big part of their lives!

DH's parents live 2 states away. They're just not big on the Grandparent thing. They visited once to meet Mati and once to meet Hazel. They'll eventually make it to meet Olli, not sure when though. I'm not happy with how often they visit. I wish they'd come twice a year.

[blessedx7]

My parents come over (or we go over there) at least a couple times a week or more. I'm happy with that. They ADORE my kids and it makes me so happy to see my kids bring them so much joy. However, dh's parents live 10min from us and haven't seen Kerrigan (or called or checked on us) in 6 weeks. Last time they came over was when some family was in town and THEY wanted to see the kids so my inlaws brought them over. Kerrigan was 3 weeks old and all my MIL did the whole time was play the perfect doting grandparent in front of the relatives but she would say stuff like "why isn't she waking up and interacting?" Ummm she's 3 weeks old. Anyway, they are doting grandparents when it makes them look good but otherwise they are extremely self-involved.

[slpliz]

My parents and DH's parents live within 5 miles of us. They see the kids a few times a week. We usually spend Friday night dinners with DH's family and Saturday/Sunday we are in and out of my parents house - I am really close with my mom so we end up doing a lot of stuff together on weekends.

We are debating a move if I get a job offer following an upcoming job interview and the thought of being five hours away from our parents is hard on me. I love how close our kids are to their grandparents (emotionally, I mean)!

[CartersMommy]

Originally Posted by blessedx7

Anyway, they are doting grandparents when it makes them look good but otherwise they are extremely self-involved.

Wow we must have the same inlaws Kelly. At church my MIL and FIL are all like "these boys are our world" in front of the other members of the church.... but really they know little to nothing about my kids and see them every OTHER month if that outside of church... irks me to no end

[monkeymama2]

We are very close with my parents. They love being grandparents. So I see them a few times a week--in fact, they have my two older kids for the weekend, because DH was going with his parents to their cottage to work on the bathroom, and I am here with just Ruby. My parents will meet me for lunch when I have all 3 kids, or come over at night if DH is working late. My in-laws, we are close with too and used to see more, but since my SIL had her daughter in April, she has pretty much taken up all their time. She lives across the street from them in a house under construction. She doesn't work. She basically just lives with her parents, eats all her meals there and just expects them to be there. None of them came to see us when Ruby was born, (though my MIL did watch the kids one day), and never asked me how Ruby was when she was in the hospital. I just had a talk last night with DH about how I feel like his parents aren't interested in us lately, unless they need something from him, and it bothers me.

[brie_91]

Sadie and I go to my parents house about 3 times a week.. I only live 5 mins away, so I go over there a lot. Plus mine and jims relationship is so back and forth (its annoying), that half of the time I stay at my parents. They see Sadie a lot

JIms side of the family hardly ever sees her, even though they live just as far as my parents do. But everyone in their house smokes in the house, and its just one big ash tray! I hate taking Sadie over there, so I told them if they want to see her they can come over here... Surprisingly (extreme sarcasm) neither of his parents have made an attempt to come see her..

[Crystal713]

My parents passed away. Billys mom lives in another state and has only met our children once. And Billys dad is a loser and doesnt ever come around except for Christmas.

Sooo....They pretty much dont have any grandparents.

But when my mom was alive she was very involved with Evan and Eli and loved them alot.

[mauiamy]

Gosh all of these posts make me sad. While I'm happy everyone gets to see their parents all the time it makes me realize how we are so different then everyone!

My mom use to live on the island but moved away before I got married and when Annette was born was the first time I had seen her in almost 3 years. We are VERY close, talk almost every other day and skype a lot too..but she moved to Nebraska (I know I know why in the heck would you leave Hawaii to move to Nebraska..lets just say she's a bit selfish in her decisions and always has been)
She will probably only come out once a year to visit cause it's so expensive to fly here..

My parents, aka my dad and step mom live in California and we see them a lot more. Probably once every 3 months or so...they come out here 2 or 3 times a year and we go see them 2 times a year

I grew up in California and Hawaii with no family around too...my grandparents and ALL of my family lived in the midwest where my parents were from so I grew up getting "shipped" over there for the summers. I actually liked it cause I couldn't WAIT to see my grandparents and aunts and uncles...I always got extra spoiled. BUT I will say this, I was always very very jealous of my friends and fellow cousins who grew up around their grandparents and family members. My family (besides parents) never got to go to anything special of ours growing up...it was hard
And I get sad thinking that my Annette will grow up the same way, BUT I know for a fact should would probably like to grow up in Hawaii than in the mainland...at least I think so? And I can relate to how it will be for her since I grew up that way (and so did my DH, all his family members were in the east coast and he grew up in Cali...altho his mom had 9 kids, possibly to make up for the lack of family members close by? ha ha)

We skype A LOT and talk on the phone a lot but it's not the same. All of you are very very lucky, this has been the hardest issue for me...and it never was before I had kids.

[markswife]

My dad comes over once a week to see Natalie. I hate it. There is a reason I don't see my dad weekly. On one hand, I appreciate how much he likes to dote on Natalie. On the other hand, he is the most self-centered person I've met and really hurt me several times growing up with selfish decisions that he's made. It's hard for me to listen to him tell stories to Natalie about what an awesome dad he was when that's not actually true. This is probably petty but he keeps talking about seeing his four favorite girls and I can't figure out if he's leaving out me, my sister, or my sister-in-law when he's counting to four. Either way, I think it's ******.

My mom comes over about once a week or we go see her.

[Carmela]

My parents are very involved. For about 6 months they even kept Blaise for me while I was at work three days a week, but it was at my mom's shop and she got too busy to have him there while she was working. For most of Blaise's life we have seen them at least two weekends out of the month, and of course they have kept him during the week occasionally other than the time that they kept him almost every day. Blaise worships the ground "Papa" walks on and the feeling is mutual.

Since Aurora was born my mom has had to close her shop and is now working 3rds. She works almost every weekend, and sleep during the day. So they haven't seen the kids as much as they used to, and it is killing them. My dad is coming over today to keep Blaise while we go to a meeting, and I am taking both kids to their house tomorrow. My mom is going to help me repair some diapers and she doesn't have to work tomorrow night.

DH's parents are not involved. His dad has seen Blaise twice and Aurora once, both visits we went there. The first time he met Blaise he was 16 months old and I say he has seen Aurora, but she was asleep and he was only in our hotel room for less than 5 minutes, never actually touched her. They took a couple of pictures I think. I have never liked DH's dad and wouldn't be upset if he never saw the kids again.

His mom actually came to Blaise's baby shower, and visited once when he was 3 months old. We have taken Blaise up to see her three times since then. She hasn't met Aurora yet. Her daughter graduates high school in June and we are going up there for that, she will meet her then. I actually like his mom, and she does have trouble getting away. She runs an in house day care and her youngest son has downs syndrome.

[feythful]

My parents live 6 hours away in Florida and they came up to stay when she was born. They've seen her about once every month since she was born. My parents travel pretty frequently and I expect they will be here each time they drive through. We will be traveling down there next week.

My DH's mom lives on the other side of the country and we see her every couple of years (plenty enough for me). She has been here once since Emily was born and wants to get another trip in soon. I'm hoping our trip to her neck of the woods to see his brother will hold her off for a while. My DH's Dad and Stepmom are pretty self involved. They haven't seen Emily and have called once to check on us after she was born. They might have asked a question when they called for his birthday...She probably won't see them unless we make the effort and that annoys me to no end. They drive through our state twice a year and we live 5 minutes off the highway, yet we regularly have to drive an hour or two on a weeknight to visit them at their campsite.

[orangelily78]

I live next door to my mum and dad so we see them every day and SO's every now and them. I dont mind the frequency as I am close to my parents.