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  #21  
April 8th, 2011, 06:25 PM
snlemon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Maker View Post
Having had two traumatic vaginal birthing experiences in which I delivered lifeless babies into the world, I cannot say for a minute that I have "faith" in my body to do what it's supposed to do. My body has failed me time and time again, and quite frankly, if there was a DR in the world who would do it, I'd ask for Aaliyah to be delivered ASAP because every day that goes by, I grow more and more anxious wondering if she is going to die while inside of me....that is not an irrational fear for me to have since that is all I know. I'm still terrified of a vaginal delivery because I think something terrible is going to happen to her. I'd rather them cut me open and take her out. I've risked my life twice for my other babies and this time would be no different.

I *wish* I could be as confident in my body [and it's abilities] as some of you women are It's very admirable and I have to admit that I'm "jealous" [not in a hateful or spiteful way] that you are able to exude such confidence....I hope that all of us get the birthing experience that we desire and are blessed with the opportunity to celebrate a new and beautiful little life

The unfortunate thing is...you think live birth is going to be this huge hurdle to overcome and *then* you'll feel better...but you won't. You'll just find out that first night that there are a million more ways to fear for her life.
Birth, in retrospect, is the easy and safe part and in no way changes the ultimate outcome of how long your child is destined to live.
That was quite the sucker punch in my gut to realize the first night in the hospital. I didn't sleep for days after realizing that--somehow my body felt like if I could stay awake and watch him, I could prevent death from coming.
At a certain point I had to trust that my child was not mine, would never be mine and that God ultimately held his life in his hands. Sometimes I get scared that because I struggle over this concept, I will have to loose another baby--and in a more traumatic way. I hate thoughts like that.

Anyways...not to be a downer or to change course of the conversation...the way you guys are putting things just kept making me think back to that first night and the realization that the birth I worried so much about, was only tiny swell in a very big ocean of things.

And Ashley, while I don't understand logically making a decision for an elective c-section (knowing that all available statistics and information point in the opposite direction for a normal pregnancy), I do understand that fear is a powerful thing in our decisions and support your right to make decisions for yourself and your baby in delivery, since only you ultimately are the one held responsible for those decisions. Good Luck!
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  #22  
April 8th, 2011, 07:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snlemon View Post
The unfortunate thing is...you think live birth is going to be this huge hurdle to overcome and *then* you'll feel better...but you won't. You'll just find out that first night that there are a million more ways to fear for her life.
Birth, in retrospect, is the easy and safe part and in no way changes the ultimate outcome of how long your child is destined to live.
That was quite the sucker punch in my gut to realize the first night in the hospital. I didn't sleep for days after realizing that--somehow my body felt like if I could stay awake and watch him, I could prevent death from coming.
At a certain point I had to trust that my child was not mine, would never be mine and that God ultimately held his life in his hands. Sometimes I get scared that because I struggle over this concept, I will have to loose another baby--and in a more traumatic way. I hate thoughts like that.

Anyways...not to be a downer or to change course of the conversation...the way you guys are putting things just kept making me think back to that first night and the realization that the birth I worried so much about, was only tiny swell in a very big ocean of things.

And Ashley, while I don't understand logically making a decision for an elective c-section (knowing that all available statistics and information point in the opposite direction for a normal pregnancy), I do understand that fear is a powerful thing in our decisions and support your right to make decisions for yourself and your baby in delivery, since only you ultimately are the one held responsible for those decisions. Good Luck!
I like you, and I think you have a good brain.
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  #23  
April 8th, 2011, 07:19 PM
Angel_Maker
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^ Actually, I am not naive enough to think that I'm going to breath this huge sigh of relief when she is here and think that nothing horrible will ever happen to her....matter of fact, I just posted the other day on another thread [about how soon people plan on taking their babies out in public] that I'm going to be terrified to DRIVE with her in the car for fear of getting in an accident. I'm actually already worrying myself SICK over WHEN I'm supposed to sleep because I'm going to watch her while she sleeps to make sure she doesn't die of SIDS.

I am a woman of EXTREME FAITH and to be honest would've probably killed myself after my twins died if not for my belief in Heaven and Hell and the knowledge that suicide would prevent me from EVER seeing my sons again. I have no doubt that God is ultimately in control, but that doesn't mean that a woman cannot be fearful.

I'm really ashamed of how this post has turned into an attack on those who share different viewpoints. I have been through **** and back and am quite shocked by how insensitive some people are being...and I feel badly for Ashley because she has been judged for her very personal decision.




Last edited by Angel_Maker; April 8th, 2011 at 07:23 PM.
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  #24  
April 8th, 2011, 07:53 PM
Ashl3y
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I want to thank those of you who have simply offered support. After all, that's what this is, isn't it? A support group? I thought I had made it clear that I did research my options so I really don't think it's necessary to reiterate that I need to do some research. Also, points were made about vaginal being best for a "normal" pregnancy. Sure, but I've already said that this baby is breech as well. But anyway, I suppose the point of this post is to say that I feel incredibly judged and I won't be returning to this DDC anymore. Good luck to all of you, I hope that you have great pregnancies and healthy, happy babies.
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  #25  
April 8th, 2011, 08:07 PM
jessicag's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ashl3y View Post
I want to thank those of you who have simply offered support. After all, that's what this is, isn't it? A support group? I thought I had made it clear that I did research my options so I really don't think it's necessary to reiterate that I need to do some research. Also, points were made about vaginal being best for a "normal" pregnancy. Sure, but I've already said that this baby is breech as well. But anyway, I suppose the point of this post is to say that I feel incredibly judged and I won't be returning to this DDC anymore. Good luck to all of you, I hope that you have great pregnancies and healthy, happy babies.
Dont go!

Well, I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes really well! And I hope you can get the type of the delivery you want, because it is your decision and your not wrong for making it I hope everything goes perfectly!

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  #26  
April 8th, 2011, 08:20 PM
snlemon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angel_Maker View Post
^ Actually, I am not naive enough to think that I'm going to breath this huge sigh of relief when she is here and think that nothing horrible will ever happen to her....matter of fact, I just posted the other day on another thread [about how soon people plan on taking their babies out in public] that I'm going to be terrified to DRIVE with her in the car for fear of getting in an accident. I'm actually already worrying myself SICK over WHEN I'm supposed to sleep because I'm going to watch her while she sleeps to make sure she doesn't die of SIDS.

I am a woman of EXTREME FAITH and to be honest would've probably killed myself after my twins died if not for my belief in Heaven and Hell and the knowledge that suicide would prevent me from EVER seeing my sons again. I have no doubt that God is ultimately in control, but that doesn't mean that a woman cannot be fearful.

I'm really ashamed of how this post has turned into an attack on those who share different viewpoints. I have been through **** and back and am quite shocked by how insensitive some people are being...and I feel badly for Ashley because she has been judged for her very personal decision.



I was just going to move on from this in case "clarifying" made it worse but I read it again and I just don't see how im attacking you?? I was relating my own *personal* experience in regards to fear surrounding birth, life and kids, experiences I was reminded of based on your comments about wanting her out now. I wasn't saying ANYTHING about you personally and your individual life (I don't even know you). I'm sorry if you read that as something totally directed to you or as something I expected to hold completely true for your life....again, i was just sharing the gravity of those fears in my own life.

GAH....I hate the internet somedays.

Thank you Emily....I really needed to hear something like that tonight.
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  #27  
April 8th, 2011, 08:29 PM
snlemon's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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And brandi, I'm sure its my lack of writing clearly (especially on this Dang phone). But "you" was a general you guys in this discussion not a you brandi whatever your last name is. Kwim? Lol. Okay, need more tums and I'm out of this conversation. Someone shoot me.
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  #28  
April 8th, 2011, 08:49 PM
Peace.Love.Pepsi's Avatar Just another mommy
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Ulitmately where your mindframe is, is what is going to hinder or progress your labor. If you go in with so much fear that you are going to die, or almost die like your mom. You arent going to progress, you will have intervention after intervention to progress your labor and its probably not going to work ,which will result in an emergency section. If you cant get your mind into a place where you know you CAN do this, then its best to do what is going to give you the greater peace of mind.
I cant understand your desision, because to me, i wouldent want to be cut open unless my baby was in danger. I had a stillbirth, and went on to have three natural births. I hope i can deliver this one safely and naturally, if not, if he is in distress and needs to come out, then by all means cut me open. But its not my first choice, so i cant understand where you are coming from.
But i DO know, in all my years as a mother, and all my research on birth, if you are that afraid, it will hinder things. So you are making the best possible desision by talking to your dr about this. But regardless if i or anyone else can understand, this is YOUR bod,y YOUR baby, and your birth. And its about you, not about anyone else.
Good luck.
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  #29  
April 8th, 2011, 08:54 PM
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I think everybody tried their best to keep a kind, supportive tone in this thread and maybe there were some misunderstandings about Ashley's situation. Of course elective c-sections are a hot button issue so it is hard to avoid strongly differing opinions. I hope any hurt feelings are feeling better in the morning... Ashley, I'm really sorry if you felt unsupported!! It's hard to avoid at least a tiny bit of debate in a thread like this. I am SURE that no matter how strongly anyone here disagrees with elective c-sections in general, we ALL want you to have a happy, healthy birth experience and to not be afraid!!!!
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  #30  
April 8th, 2011, 09:54 PM
Melliesbelly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I have refrained from posting in this thread because I didn't trust myself to say something nice. What I don't understand is why this was posted in this DDC after you already saw how blown up and out of proportion it got in your main DDC.

It's just asking for drama sometimes. We're a crazy batch of hormonal pregnant women who are passionate about giving birth, and all things to do with that. Or else why would we be here?

There are so many things I know I just shouldn't post about because of how people will respond. As lovely and amazing as it would be if people could keep all negative comments to themselves, sometimes that's asking too much of women with hormones who do that on a daily basis. Some things simply rub people the wrong way.

Anyway, I really and honestly don't think that anyone, and I do mean anyone, should be offended when we know where we are and who we're dealing with here. That's just asking for it, period.

I saw so much nastiness in the May DDC thread that got locked down, and I don't see why it needed to be repeated here to begin with.
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  #31  
April 9th, 2011, 01:56 AM
SaraB32's Avatar Kelsey's momma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Melliesbelly View Post
I have refrained from posting in this thread because I didn't trust myself to say something nice. What I don't understand is why this was posted in this DDC after you already saw how blown up and out of proportion it got in your main DDC.

It's just asking for drama sometimes. We're a crazy batch of hormonal pregnant women who are passionate about giving birth, and all things to do with that. Or else why would we be here?

There are so many things I know I just shouldn't post about because of how people will respond. As lovely and amazing as it would be if people could keep all negative comments to themselves, sometimes that's asking too much of women with hormones who do that on a daily basis. Some things simply rub people the wrong way.

Anyway, I really and honestly don't think that anyone, and I do mean anyone, should be offended when we know where we are and who we're dealing with here. That's just asking for it, period.

I saw so much nastiness in the May DDC thread that got locked down, and I don't see why it needed to be repeated here to begin with.
She actually posted it here first, an hour before she posted it in the May DDC. And when she had posted it there, I believe there were only 3 posts on this thread- all of them wishing her good luck.
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  #32  
April 9th, 2011, 04:59 AM
angelsailor288's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Wow.. I really havent read any posts that were attacking or judgemental. I think everyone was nice in how they worded everything even if they didnt agree.

That being said, this is the internet and you cant post all the details of your life if you don't want someone to say something about it or get judged. Thats what happens on internet forums.
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  #33  
April 9th, 2011, 05:11 AM
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Ok, ladies, enough on this topic. Move on.
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