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The "was it planned?" question


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
April 27th, 2011, 10:25 AM
cavewoman's Avatar our miracle is here!! <3
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Have you gotten this one? and did you or would you take offense to it?
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  #2  
April 27th, 2011, 10:27 AM
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I actually saw a friend of my husband's and that was the first thing he said to me; then I got the congrats! :-/
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  #3  
April 27th, 2011, 10:28 AM
jennybunny82's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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My answer is very easy to this question... I had my IUD taken out... so OBVIOUSLY it was planned. LOL.
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  #4  
April 27th, 2011, 10:29 AM
Snookums's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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no one knows that we're preg yet so I haven't had to field any questions.
however seeing as this Wasn't Planned, we'll probably be honest LOL

then again, our kids will be 2.5 yrs apart so I'm not sure we'll get the question that often
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  #5  
April 27th, 2011, 10:31 AM
Scoobyrae1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This wasn't planned. We were going to wait a couple more months. So I won't be offended at all by the question.
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  #6  
April 27th, 2011, 10:33 AM
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No it won't offend me. We told EVERYONE we were done. So it's expected
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  #7  
April 27th, 2011, 10:33 AM
Julka
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It depends who it comes from.

Close friend - I would be honest.
Family - none of their business!!!
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  #8  
April 27th, 2011, 10:33 AM
kristen121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I had one person ask me if I planned to have another December baby. I wasn't really offended by it. I just told her we had been trying for a few months and I just happened to get pg in March again. Since DD is 2 1/2, I think most people assume that this pg is planned. For the past year, all I've heard is "Isn't it about time for another one?"
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  #9  
April 27th, 2011, 10:34 AM
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You should never ask that and yes, I would take offense. It's no ones business.
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  #10  
April 27th, 2011, 10:38 AM
melissalaw's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I have been asked that question several times. We were trying and no the question doesn't offend me.
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  #11  
April 27th, 2011, 10:41 AM
cavewoman's Avatar our miracle is here!! <3
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I ask because basically everyone in the family who was just told asked the question.. and I didn't really know how to react when DH told me they asked that. I was like umm.. wow. For me, I took offense to it.. but that could just be me being overly sensitive! I guess I just feel like those who asked it came out as a "do you know what you're getting yourself into? question and thats what I didn't like about it.
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  #12  
April 27th, 2011, 10:44 AM
Julka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cavewoman View Post
I ask because basically everyone in the family who was just told asked the question.. and I didn't really know how to react when DH told me they asked that. I was like umm.. wow. For me, I took offense to it.. but that could just be me being overly sensitive! I guess I just feel like those who asked it came out as a "do you know what you're getting yourself into? question and thats what I didn't like about it.
I don't see why they would ask you that at all. You're married and this is your first child. That's usually how it works. People date, marry, start a family, yada yada... it's not like you have 18 kids and are pregnant with triplets.

In your shoes, I'd be offended too.
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  #13  
April 27th, 2011, 10:44 AM
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People who haven't had issues with getting/staying pregnant always ask stupid questions - like when are you guys going to get pregnant and was it planned? they don't get that sometimes its not such an easy answer and that it can bring up hurtful issues.
I have never had anyone ask if it was a planned pregnancy, but i would probably answer with just a yes. I'm assuming they would only ask if they think you are too young or there is a large gap between kids - either way it's just a way to fish for gossip on you.
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  #14  
April 27th, 2011, 10:47 AM
cavewoman's Avatar our miracle is here!! <3
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We are 25 and 26 years old been married for just about 2 years now and its our first. I just don't get it?? I think my DHs family is too old school or something and they think we need 50 grand in the bank, to own our own home and be 35 or something.. who knows!
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  #15  
April 27th, 2011, 10:52 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millie10 View Post
You should never ask that and yes, I would take offense. It's no ones business.
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  #16  
April 27th, 2011, 10:52 AM
Julka
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cavewoman View Post
We are 25 and 26 years old been married for just about 2 years now and its our first. I just don't get it?? I think my DHs family is too old school or something and they think we need 50 grand in the bank, to own our own home and be 35 or something.. who knows!
That's actually the life story of most women where I live seriously, having kids at 35 here is very normal and by that point you have a career, house, huge savings account, 3 cars, 2 pets. Great timing to have kids! When I type it out like that I can see why many will think I am crazy when they found out we're on #3...
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  #17  
April 27th, 2011, 10:56 AM
Michilee1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I would probably take offense. I am a person who never liked kids and wasn't sure if I wanted to have any so it wouldn't even be an unfair question, but it would be rude and thankfully no one has asked it.
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  #18  
April 27th, 2011, 11:09 AM
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I get this question from a lot of high school friends and were quite honest in saying no.... i am only 20 going on 21 so most of my friends are not even thinking about long term relationships. Ours was not planned but we are still very much allowed to be excited! When people ask that, it totally DOES come out as more of a "did you just accidentally ’ruin’ your life?" with the tone of voice they use. I totally get you Bonnie and I think you’re entitled to be peeved or irritated or whatever by the question.
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  #19  
April 27th, 2011, 11:10 AM
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How rude! Of course I would take offense to that question. That being said, no one has ever said that to me (or DH). We had been married 9 years when we had Jack so the comments we received were more like "its about time".
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  #20  
April 27th, 2011, 11:17 AM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
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Everyone but family knew me and hubby were trying for 4 months so they knew it was planned. But my family assumed it was an accident and that is what offended me.
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