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almost as overwhelming as twin newborns


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
May 24th, 2011, 02:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,069
My MIL says she will be staying with us for 3 weeks when the babies are born. After she will return for two weeks every month. My mother (lives local) will be taking two weeks off. My MIL will also be hiring a full time nanny 9am-5pm every day to be in our home for the first 6 months. She will not care for the babies, she will care of me! oh gosh i cant believe im typing this!!!! NO ONE HAS ASKED ME ANYTHING!!!!!!!

I really think i should be thankful. Which i am more thankful then taken aback by the fact no one asked me anything.

However, three women in my home will feel more overwhelming then new born twins!!!!!

Oh to top it all off, the nanny only speaks spanish. I understand spanish but do not speak a lot.

I think ive decided i will set some rules when they all take over my home. I will tell them they are not alowed in my room if the door is closed. Otherwise they are welcome. And i will not cover myself in my own home while im trying to learn how to breast feed my twins. Ill tell them there will come a point they will see my breast and cant get offended.

any advice....
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  #2  
May 24th, 2011, 02:56 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 660
Wow! I think you are spot on about setting the ground rules now, before you get too close to delivery and possibly don't have the emotional strength to be able to do it without going over the edge!!!

I think the idea of making your bedroom your personal space is a great idea! I wonder though if your MIL needs to be there for 2 weeks at a time if your Mom is nearby and there is someone there to help you out from 9am-5pm? Seems a bit like it's overkill, maybe she can settle for a week a month? I think you should consider all that has been offered and decide what you think will work best for you and then incorporate that into your ground rules!

Good Luck and make the most of the support, without loosing yourself in everybody elses best intentions
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  #3  
May 24th, 2011, 03:45 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Severn, MD
Posts: 723
Oh wow...I think I would appreciate the support but I would ask that everyone clear it with you first. I mean after all, they are invading your personal home...I don't have much room to talk about setting boundaries as I have a VERY pushy MIL but definitely do that! Good Luck! And if you don't want all those women in your home tell 'em to hit the road... GL!
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  #4  
May 24th, 2011, 03:47 PM
promises1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: California
Posts: 3,350
Ground rules sound like the best way to handle this one. Make sure everyone understands your wishes. Extra help I'm sure will be a big blessing but it does seem like a little much.
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  #5  
May 24th, 2011, 06:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
SET BOUNDARIES NOW!! If you don't think you'll need a nanny, tell your MIL thanks but no thanks...and if you don't think you'll need her to return for two weeks every month (how long is she planning to do this?! after a while you will want to just have family time!) then tell her that is overkill. Best to do it now and get it all figured out then wait for the babies to come!
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  #6  
May 25th, 2011, 05:51 AM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 38
can you send one to my house

you definitely have the right idea; it is so easy to be overwhelmed with one baby, let alone two demanding your attention as a mom, and no matter how many women are around, babies will still want their mommy. i know my mom and mil helped when i had my daughter, and i just could not take any more fox news or gossip!! especially since they just wanted to hold the baby when i needed them to cook or clean.
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  #7  
May 25th, 2011, 09:35 AM
**Linda**
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,075
That seems WAY overwhelming. I've told DH I don't really want anyone at the house when we initially bring the baby home. I know its going to be tough, but we don't have any other kids, so the two of us are going to have to figure it out, and tough it out!

Agree with the others, set boundaries, and then stick to them!!!
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  #8  
May 25th, 2011, 09:48 AM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
Oh wow... I'd tell everyone to stay home! (except your mommy) That sounds like a bit much, you're going to need more you time than just in your bedroom with the door shut, you know? You're gonna want to get to know your kids on your own too... I don't know, that's a huge help, but could also drive you insane. I'm no help.
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  #9  
May 25th, 2011, 10:11 AM
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 300
Quote:
Originally Posted by AZsnowflake View Post
SET BOUNDARIES NOW!! If you don't think you'll need a nanny, tell your MIL thanks but no thanks...and if you don't think you'll need her to return for two weeks every month (how long is she planning to do this?! after a while you will want to just have family time!) then tell her that is overkill. Best to do it now and get it all figured out then wait for the babies to come!
Yeah, I agree. It's great that she wants to help, but it needs to actually be helpful.
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  #10  
May 25th, 2011, 05:07 PM
Aidan~N~Haileys Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 8,603
Quote:
Originally Posted by Honeybug View Post
Wow! I think you are spot on about setting the ground rules now, before you get too close to delivery and possibly don't have the emotional strength to be able to do it without going over the edge!!!

I think the idea of making your bedroom your personal space is a great idea! I wonder though if your MIL needs to be there for 2 weeks at a time if your Mom is nearby and there is someone there to help you out from 9am-5pm? Seems a bit like it's overkill, maybe she can settle for a week a month? I think you should consider all that has been offered and decide what you think will work best for you and then incorporate that into your ground rules!

Good Luck and make the most of the support, without loosing yourself in everybody elses best intentions
I agree with all of this 100%..I'm not sure why your MIL has to stay at your house for 2 weeks at a time every month..Sounds like a bit much especially since you will have a nanny..I would think about what you want and after you decide what is best for you and your family, talk to your MIL and tell her what you decide!!
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  #11  
May 26th, 2011, 08:30 AM
AndreaRenee's Avatar raising boys...
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Manhattan Beach, CA
Posts: 6,053
wait wait so the MIL is staying for 3 weeks and during the time she's there, she is hiring a nanny? and then your mom is staying too?

to be honest, when you have ONE newborn you do want help... so with TWO you will need the help. But I'm not sure I could deal with all three helpers at once. Maybe you can divide up their time? like when ones time is up, the next one starts?

good luck... oh and set the rules NOW or prepare for your MIL to take advantage of you forever! haha!
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