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BTDT Moms - I wish someone had told me ???


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  #1  
May 25th, 2011, 02:00 PM
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I was lurking in the Dec. DDC and saw a similiar post. Decided to get your opinions as well.

BTDT Moms what is something that you wish you had been told before your first baby was born. Was there something you weren't expecting that freaked you out, an item you never should of purchased, etc? We all get so much advice when pregnant, but sometimes the really important stuff is left out.
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  #2  
May 25th, 2011, 02:17 PM
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I wish someone had told me that the first week of BFing could be soooo hard! I live in an area that bottle feeding is the norm, so I didn't get a whole lot of support. I stuck it out and we nursed until just over 12 months.
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  #3  
May 25th, 2011, 02:24 PM
SummerSet2011's Avatar Addicted To Salt!
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The babys movements will slow way down fast towereds the end of pregnancy. They say that is an alarm and you should go in to the ER. I did and they told me nothing was wrong and that the baby is just running out of room. Its weird how I was never told this possible positive outlook on the situation.
The nurse practically threw my baby at me to breast feed before we had cleared the room out. If they push the baby on you tell them they you got it and know what you are doing (if you do haha) and you will take it from there and get them out of there!
A nurse will come into your room and kneed on your uterus to make it go back down. Its extremely painful to some but its supposed to hurt is what they say. It gets annoying after awhile.
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  #4  
May 25th, 2011, 02:55 PM
RubyRocks's Avatar Rockin' Momma
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If you are not firm with the nurses, they just won't get it.

Share with them your expectations for delivery PRIOR to any pain relievers, TRUST ME on that one LOL!
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  #5  
May 25th, 2011, 03:30 PM
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I am sure there are many, but these come to mind straight away!

Even if it hurts to pee after having baby, pay attention to make sure you drink enough water, whether breastfeeding or not, not staying hydrated will mucj with your milk and your kidney's.........

Even a baby born vaginally can have mucus and gunk in their lungs and it will come up in the first 24ish hours and you might think they are dying, don't panic!!

Water temp. is important and I would recommend using a thermometer to make sure you don't go too hot or too cold. I had an undiagnosed infection and my body temperature was all over the place and I had no idea my hot and cold switch was turned off until I put Hanna in the bath It was way too hot for her ;( Major failure Mum moment!!!
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  #6  
May 25th, 2011, 03:37 PM
ashleyjo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Wear and embrace the mesh panties and boat pads that they give you in the hospital.. That way you're not messing your undies up, and they're actually quite comfy..

Baby will cough and sneeze a lot in the first few days.. It's normal.. They just left a fluid filled sac that they lived in for 10 months! My son coughed, sneezed, and gagged his way through the first few days.. Kind of scary, but they have lots of 'crud' to cough up!

Don't be afraid to ask for help!! And don't be afraid to say "no" either!
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  #7  
May 25th, 2011, 04:33 PM
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After you have the baby and you're in the hospital, don't feel like you have to have him/her in your room, this is the last time you will get to sleep for a long time lol...
I wouldn't let anyone take DD and I never got any sleep. This time I will be letting baby go to the nursery so I can rest.

You will NOT break the baby. My husband was so afraid to hold DD and change her diapers and stuff because he felt like he would break her....obviously be gentle, but you aren't going to hurt the baby.

When the baby is napping, take a nap or a break. You can clean or whatever later. (everyone says this, but really it's true)

Don't be afraid to accept help, whether it be cooked meals, someone helping you etc. They WANT to help, so let them.
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  #8  
May 25th, 2011, 04:37 PM
SoCaliMommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SummerSet2011 View Post
The babys movements will slow way down fast towereds the end of pregnancy.
That isn't true for some babies though.

Ask for the pads that are the ice pad also those helped so much with the mesh undies the first few days. This was offered after the birth of my 1st but not when i had my 2nd, i chalked it up to different hospitals.

If you give birth in a hospital i found it easier after birth when the nurse came in to help push on my stomach that it was better to be done while sitting on the toliet since then the mess is in there and not on your bed. This was done after the birth of my son i didn't have pain meds and wanted to pee so a nurse helped me to the bathroom and then did the pushing on my stomach.
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  #9  
May 26th, 2011, 08:33 AM
**Linda**
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy View Post

If you give birth in a hospital i found it easier after birth when the nurse came in to help push on my stomach that it was better to be done while sitting on the toliet since then the mess is in there and not on your bed. This was done after the birth of my son i didn't have pain meds and wanted to pee so a nurse helped me to the bathroom and then did the pushing on my stomach.
Thank you so much!!

This whole, "pushing on the stomach" thing is news to me!!! I'm glad I have the knowledge so I'm prepared for the awkwardness of it!! Ain't nothing glamorous or sexy about giving birth and the process directly afterward.
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  #10  
May 26th, 2011, 08:35 AM
AndreaRenee's Avatar raising boys...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyjo View Post
Wear and embrace the mesh panties and boat pads that they give you in the hospital..
I had to giggle at this! I loved those panties!! they sound really gross but they are the only way you can wear that massive pad and trust me, you need that pad!

here's a few that come to mind-

babies eat seriously all day, its normal that you just fed them and they are starved

they make weird squeeking sounds in their sleep so even if they are asleep, they are keeping you up with these noises!

don't think you'll be back to your normal routine, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning and all that for MONTHS. get some good delivery menus and enjoy the break.
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  #11  
May 26th, 2011, 09:25 AM
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Well, I was told this but it was so helpful. BF'ding is HARD, it is so so so super hard and it HURTS! My mom said "give it two weeks, it will be different" and literally at the exact 2 week mark, it didn't hurt anymore (all the time at least). so give it two weeks at least to see how it goes after that. I wish someone would've told me pampers work better on boys and huggies work better on girls (as far as leaks go).
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  #12  
May 26th, 2011, 09:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by countryjewelsc View Post
I wish someone had told me that the first week of BFing could be soooo hard! I live in an area that bottle feeding is the norm, so I didn't get a whole lot of support. I stuck it out and we nursed until just over 12 months.
Agreed. Every single breast feeding mom told me that breastfeeding did not hurt at all. And I am absolutley NOT trying to scare you, but it did hurt for about a week. If I hadn't totally committed to it long before I had DD I would have given up. But with that being said, for me breastfeeding became one of the most positive experiences I have ever had. Once you get the hang of it, it is awesome.
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  #13  
May 26th, 2011, 11:47 AM
Jenilope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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There are a few things I wish I'd been told before-hand:

1. Don't over-use the dermaplast spray they give you at the hospital. Yes, it is nice to numb things down there, but if you use it too much, you'll dry yourself out and it will start to hurt more. No more than every 4-6 hours is what the nurses suggested for me.

2. Don't forget to spend some time making a list and shopping for your postpartum personal supplies. Everyone gets so busy buying for baby and packing for hospital, but, you don't want to have to go out or send hubby out for your personal comfort items when you first get home. Things like tucks pads or cotton pads and witch hazel, BIG absorbant maxi pads, dermaplast spray, lanolin, nipple sheilds, nipple soothies, breast pads (I like the Lansinoh ones), sleep bras (or comfortable cotton nursing bras because you will leak at night for at least a little while), comfy loose pjs, and easy snacks to keep near you like bottled water, juice boxes, fruit and granola bars are all good things to keep around.

3. Most moms lose between 15 and 25 pounds in the week after delivery, so when you find yourself putting on 1-2 pounds a week in the last 7 or 8 weeks, don't freak out--you have a LOT more pregnancy stuff that will come out than just the baby.

4. Everyone harped at me about how hard having a newborn would be and how they can't be around people and you'll never sleep and blah blah blah. After havign 2, I've found that yes, the sleep disruption can be difficult, but the rest of it is only as hard as you make it because they litterally sleep ALL THE TIME--like 18-22 hours a day! I WISH someone had filled me in on how much easier it is to go out to dinner with a 4 week old sleeping in her infant carrier than it is with a 4 month old eating the crayons and acting like an angel until JUST after you order your food and can't leave and then screaming like you're biting her toes or something! So, if you're feeling comfortable with it, go out a little, baby will probably sleep through the whole thing and you and DH will have a much needed trip to the "real world" where things will feel refreshingly normal for an hour or two.

5. And, this does not happen for every paitient or every doctor, but after my first, I remember my OB had to reach in and pull things out of my uterus. I was bleeding pretty badly and lost conciousness, so I don't remember exactly the whole proceedure or the whys (I'm assuming a hemorage or a left over piece of placenta) Anyway, he bumped up the epi before he did it, so it didn't hurt. If you already have the epi and they're going to do that, ask for more meds first if it's wearing off because I swear he was in there up to his elbow. On the plus side, afterwards, I bleed for 5 weeks less than I did with my second kid. The important part of this is to be in charge of your own pain meds and make sure your DH or coach is looking out for you if you're in a position, like I was, where you're not able to communicate clearly. Another example is that some hospitals like to put the catheter in before the epi because they are sadists. You can totally ask for them to wait on the cath until after the epi. And don't worry--no cath if you don't get an epi!

6. Finally, it's great to inform yourself and be prepared for surprises, but don't get scared. It's going to be a beautiful moment and just the first of many because raising a child is an extraordinary experience and as much as they sometimes make me want to pull my hair out or run away from home, I can't actually imagine missing any of this. This is a special time, even if you're nervous and feel like crap, try to find something to enjoy and remember because it will go by quickly.
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  #14  
May 26th, 2011, 12:17 PM
Mom to minions's Avatar Super Mommy
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I am a mandatory Csection. So some things could be different with the vag birth.

*Yes, they press your belly after those too. I was told it would not hurt to much due to the spinal block. OMG, it HURT!!! And the first day they do it every few hours around the clock (Or at the hospital I am at they did).

*I second the mesh undies! Also you can take home some (ASK!) and you can take home the remainder of your boat pads. I actually asked for some to take home. My nurse's for 2 births were so nice that way. Although, one told me she could not give me extra (both came in packs) but that if I happened to go through what I had and needed a new pad or undies before I left.... and she was looking at my bag. Hahaha It was funny she hinted packing some so she could give me more.

*remember, if you have an open package (diapers, undies, pads.....) in your room, you CAN take it home. Your insurance was already charged for it. You can also take home the nose sucky for the baby and the thermometer.

* If you have a Csection (maybe normal births too) they like to come in at 5am... an hour after the nurse came in to do her shift things, to draw blood int he morning... and then a little bit after that, the Dr comes in right about the time you go to fall asleep. Yes, it sucks. I got more sleep at home with a newborn and 2 others under 3 than I did in the hospital.

*If you have a Csection, make sure you remain on your pain meds until you go home. Ask them to stagger the Motrin and the vicoden/Tylenol 3 or whatever they put you on. Trust me. You do not want to be asking for pain meds after the fact. It takes longer to take effect and well, you just had your belly cut open.

* I only say this because I had my feelings hurt before... But make sure your other half understands that this is about you AND baby. I was ignored or told to "suck it up" by friends and family in the hospital... and I did not even complain. Everyone wanted baby and did not talk much to me. Yes, I felt left out. #2 and #3 I made sure my ex understood that I do not like to be felt ignored and yes, it hurts. So "suck it up" was not gonna be a good idea to say, even from his mother.

*Find out ahead of time what your hospital's food system is like. Some let you order from a menu for every meal but you only get X amount each meal and only at the meal. Some let you order however much you want all day long (as long as you can tell it is for one person and not 2 or 3) during set times. I know the set amount was never enough to keep my belly happy. So I had someone bring me food and even once went to get food downstairs.

*If you have a Csection, expect not to be able to eat solid food (with the exception of oat meal) for 24 hours. They want to make sure your organs are working. Make sure they know when you are farting a lot. Yes. Lots of farts means you may be able to eat next meal time.

*I guess I will second the catheter. I only had an issue with it hurting when I was in the ER once. When they did it for the csections, 2 were before the Spinal/epi and one after. The 2 before did not hurt me, but I have heard stories.

*It is normal to feel nauseous when you get your epi or your spinal. And yes, with an empty belly, you can still have dry heaves (had it happen once).

*If you have a Csection (unless it is an emergency) demand to be in the morning. I'm sorry, but being 38+ weeks pregnant and not being able to eat sucks. It is better to get those 12 hours of not eating in overnight than during the day. And yes, I have canceled 2 times on one Dr. till they took me serious about it.

*find out if you are allowed to have your baby with you while you are in recovery. Some refuse, some automatically do it, and some you have to ask ahead of time. I liked trying to nurse while in recovery. Believe it or not, I was told it would help my uterus contract and the nurse said because of it, she did not have to push as much (what she told me, IDK if there is truth to it).

* Make sure SO AND your nurse know your policy about visitors. And yes, your voice does win out over your other half's. Your nurse will stick up for you and go by YOUR wishes. (can you tel I have had some issues).

*if you have nosy family, you can tell the person at intake that you do not want to be in their registry for privacy reasons. So when someone calls the hospital, they will not be given any info. Including room number.
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  #15  
May 26th, 2011, 01:34 PM
mzbrnbear's Avatar GabrielandLiliana'sMommy
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Don't go overboard on the newborn clothes. They grow out of them soooo fast, half the time they never get to wear them all. The whole first year for that matter, they grow through their clothes sooooo fast! I wouldn't buy really expensive stuff either, except maybe for pictures, holidays, and special occasions.

I am sure I will think of more, and post more...lol
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  #16  
May 26th, 2011, 01:47 PM
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Oh! I thought of one more!

My hospital does NOT give you wet baby wipes--just TEENY TINY pieces of paper cloth. Even when we wet them down in the sink, they were just so small and useless when fighting those early tar-like meconium poops! I sent DH out to bring regular (sensitve) wipes back to the hospital with our first and packed a box in my suitcase for our second.
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  #17  
May 26th, 2011, 02:14 PM
cydonia1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Thank you everyone for doing this thread!! It's very interesting to read! I have NEVER heard of the belly "massage" thing and that kind of freaks me out.. lol! But not in a bad way.. it's nice to hear about it ahead of time. I'm really hoping to BF so hopefully they don't have to massage me for long. I want to make sure all is well, but at the same time.. ouch. I've heard our hospital is pretty in-and-out as long as there aren't complications, so I don't think I'll be in there for more than a day after the birth anyway.
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  #18  
May 26th, 2011, 05:29 PM
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Pack make-up in your overnight bag...I didn't and I had broken a couple blood vessels in my face from pushing and looked HORRIBLE until I called my mom and begged her to go in our house and bring me my make-up.

Pack enough clothes for you in the hospital. Hanging out the gown is fine for awhile, but I had two overnights and I wanted some of my own clothes and I really didn't pack enough.

Bring your own tums if you had an issue with heartburn. They wouldn't give me any in the hosiptal with out a note from the doctor.

I second the taking of the diapers, wipes, etc that you get in the hospital. I didn't want to be greedy but the nurse basically shoved them in our bag when we left.

Buy enough newborn diapers. I was expecting a 10 lb baby so I only bought one pack of newborn diapers. Yup like two days after we were home I was scrambling to get more diapers. (we live 30 miles from a store)

The diaper genie is a waste of money. I learned to do the diaper in a plastic bag from walmart/kmart/etc do a little twist and flip it around to make it scent proof and in the trash can it goes.

Make sure you have lanolin, it was a life saver for me when I was learning how to breast feed, but watch out because it will stain your bras.

I personally hated breast feeding, I tried it, I did it for three weeks, and then I pumped until my son was 4 months (I ended up stopping due to a work trip.) So there are options to continue to provide your baby with breastmilk even if you end up hating breast feeding like I did. I was lucky enough to have a best friend who couldn't stand it either, and she's pumped with her kids over 1 year with both of them.
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  #19  
May 26th, 2011, 06:07 PM
babyB No.1's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks to all of you- this is some awesome information. I also had no idea about the belly pushing - with my "don't touch me" policy, the nurse may have had a bad surprise..hehehe.
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  #20  
May 27th, 2011, 10:36 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ashleyjo View Post
Wear and embrace the mesh panties and boat pads that they give you in the hospital.. That way you're not messing your undies up, and they're actually quite comfy..
I LOVE my mesh panties!!! Actually took the rest from my room. Take anything that you open, like pads, diapers etc. They are gonna throw them away anyway. The tummy massage things sucks but its needed. Oh and you will still get contractions while breastfeeding for the first week or so too. The hormones from breast feeding will cause your uterus to contract down.

For the peri bottle our warm water takes forever so instead of standing there needing to pee and waiting for the water to get warm, my DH rigged up a warming station for it. Used one of those mug warmers with a mug of water and filled the bottle 3/4 full. When I needed it, I added a little bit of cold to fill it up and shake and tada no waiting for warm peri water. It was awesome!!!
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