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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
May 26th, 2011, 09:40 PM
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Will your dh/so participate in the birth? How much? My dh is like a statue during labor, he doesn't know what to say, what to do, etc. You'd think he'd know by now he's been through it enough times lol. Anyway, just joking a couple weeks ago I told him "Hey, you should catch this one!!". I "caught" my last 3 babies and it was Amazing I was really surprised when he said Ok I'll do it. I told him Bernie (my midwife) will let him. I saw a bit of fear in him. Then after my last appt I told him that she said she'd be glad to let him deliver the baby. Yesterday he told me he really thinks he DOES want to!! I hope he does, it's so beyond words the feeling to be the FIRST person to touch your child as he/she is entering the world. If he decides not to though, I definitely won't mind doing it myself again

Anyway, up until now the most he's done is cut the cord. My last delivery was the first time he actually WATCHED the baby come out. He said it was much easier to watch being underwater - not as messy lol.
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  #2  
May 26th, 2011, 09:44 PM
RubyRocks's Avatar Rockin' Momma
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This will be my first baby with my husband so I honestly have no idea what he will be like & that is so exciting to me! He was only 20 when his son was born so he's had 13 years to prepare to do it again haha!
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  #3  
May 26th, 2011, 09:46 PM
Carey
Join Date: Mar 2011
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If, by participate, you mean get behind me and push me down so that my shoulders are between my knees so we can get a sunny-side up baby out without suction or forceps, PLEASE GOD don't give him a reason to participate again. It was really scary for a few minutes just because I wanted her out without help and that was our last hope since she kept flipping right back the way she was when they would turn her over.

Seriously though, DH is wonderful and stands by me waiting for a way to help the whole time. He does not do well with blood or any other by-product that may be going on below my waist, nor do I want him down there getting that view. He will be by my head during all that craziness and probably will not cut the cord either. The thought of it makes my head spin, and I think he feels the same way, LOL.
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  #4  
May 26th, 2011, 09:50 PM
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I really have no idea what to expect from DH. I know during labor, he'll be spending a lot of time caressing me and brushing my hair (two things that absolutely relax me)

I'll ask him if he wants to catch the baby... but really I don't know how he'd feel about it. I caught my nephew and it was awesome! If he doesn't want to, i totally will!
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  #5  
May 26th, 2011, 09:55 PM
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Depends on when i go into labor if he's home or not or how fast he can make it home if he's not at home. With the other two he cut the cord, he was good about taking pictures for me when i had Ryker and for some reason found the placenta in a bowl cool looking so i ended up with a picture of it.
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  #6  
May 26th, 2011, 10:15 PM
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My DH was so amazing when I was in labor with DD. I ended up with a c-section, so he didn't get to catch the baby or anything (not sure if he'd want to) But while I was in labor and after she was born he just turned into this super husband/super daddy. It took me by surprise but it was awesome. I really hope he is the same way this time.
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  #7  
May 26th, 2011, 10:15 PM
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He will be there every step of the way as he was with our first. Hold my hand during contractions, encourage me and calm me, and if we get to the pushing point with this one (VBAC if I go into labor before my DD) he will be the one to encourage me with that too. I'll also have my mom in the room. If we have another c-section, he'll be there to hold my hand and give me the play by play of what the dr is doing at the moment. My hubby is really great
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  #8  
May 26th, 2011, 10:17 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy View Post
Depends on when i go into labor if he's home or not or how fast he can make it home if he's not at home. With the other two he cut the cord, he was good about taking pictures for me when i had Ryker and for some reason found the placenta in a bowl cool looking so i ended up with a picture of it.
I've never looked at the placenta until the last time and it really was quite fascinating looking! The way all the veins went through it looked like a tree, pretty neat.

I'm jealous of all you with the nurturing dh's lol. Mine isn't really the vocal type when it comes to serious situations, he does sit by and hold my hand but doesn't say a word. I had a doula last time and I think he may have actually learned a few things from her though, she's going to be there this time too and I'll have her encourage him to be a little more involved. Maybe if she tells him a few things to say he won't feel so awkward. Then again, to hear him suddenly try really hard to be comforting when it's so out of his norm, it might just aggravate me haha.
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  #9  
May 27th, 2011, 01:00 AM
cydonia1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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This is our first so I'm just hoping this goes this way, but I suspect he'll be my #1 support person. I'm not sure what I'll want/need, but I know he'll be there to hold me or massage me or whatever. I just hope I don't bite his head off.. I don't expect him to catch baby or cut the cord or anything. He's got a pretty weak stomach, so I don't want him anywhere near that end of me.. lol! Just up by my head or holding me up or whatever will be fine..
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  #10  
May 27th, 2011, 04:51 AM
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Don't worry Jessica...... my DH left me all by myself when it came to push time because he said he needed to call his work and fax his time sheet over. DOH! My mom was still at my house so I made the nurse call her for me. LOL They both got there at the same time. Then he just kind of stodd there and was like uuuuhhhhhh I dunno what's going on. I had to literally tell him to grab my leg so I could get a better grip on pushing LOL!! Then when my doctor decided she needed 15 more minutes and I was like I can't wait this baby is coming he finally got it that Hey we're going to have a baby! Then afterwards all he wanted to do was come home and go to sleep.... He actually asked me already if he had to stay with me the whole time this time. Geez it was our first child he should have stayed......
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  #11  
May 27th, 2011, 06:23 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RandiP View Post
Don't worry Jessica...... my DH left me all by myself when it came to push time because he said he needed to call his work and fax his time sheet over. DOH! My mom was still at my house so I made the nurse call her for me. LOL They both got there at the same time. Then he just kind of stodd there and was like uuuuhhhhhh I dunno what's going on. I had to literally tell him to grab my leg so I could get a better grip on pushing LOL!! Then when my doctor decided she needed 15 more minutes and I was like I can't wait this baby is coming he finally got it that Hey we're going to have a baby! Then afterwards all he wanted to do was come home and go to sleep.... He actually asked me already if he had to stay with me the whole time this time. Geez it was our first child he should have stayed......
lol labor or not I probably would have gone after him if Rich did that! I remember when I was in labor with Ashlyn he kept falling asleep and I was soooo mad. Sorry that I tend to labor and give birth during the middle of the night/early morning hours but dangit I was tired too!!! He's made comments too that since I'll have a doula there, does he Need to be there? Uhhhhh YES! Birth just isn't exciting to him. If I could go to the hospital and come back with a 1 year old he'd be happy, he's not good with babies - says they're boring and doesn't feel he can do much with them.
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  #12  
May 27th, 2011, 07:28 AM
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My first was sunny side up and passed meconium during delivery. DH held one of my legs for half the pushing (then I had to roll on my side for pushing and the nurse held the free leg) After she was born, he consistently (and to this day) remarks on how tiring it was FOR HIM! lol He did watch her arrive, but wasn't allowed to cut the cord.

With our second, no one held legs, 2 pushes and she was out. I sent him home to sleep that night and it was much better to not hear about how tired he was!

I hope this third birth is similar, he'll hang out and chat with me during the easier parts, not pester me during transition, and hopefully, baby will fall out like that last one and he'll be able to go home and sleep and have nothing to whine about!
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  #13  
May 27th, 2011, 07:37 AM
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My dh is a statue too. But he always puts his head by mine when I get ready to push the baby out and at that moment for some reason that is exactly what I need. It makes me feel more at ease with his head right there even if he doesn't say or do anything. I like doing it by myself and let my body tell me what to do. I hate it when the doc tells me to do something like focus...drives me crazy. Last time I yelled at the doc and told him it was my third, I knew what I was doing and to leave me alone! I also know that my dh will cry when the baby is born. He is not a crier at all....the only times he has ever cried is when our kids were born. I love looking forward to that.

Last edited by tasha221; May 27th, 2011 at 07:40 AM.
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  #14  
May 27th, 2011, 07:42 AM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Dh is pretty much a statue too. He was great during the labor - we chatted and laughed and watched movies. But once the pushing started, he was silent. He did try to encourage me when i was saying I couldn't do it, but I think he was pretty petrified. He wouldn't cut the cord, but that was okay - my mom did it. He immediately held DS and was great from that point on. I think he is so scared of losing me or the baby that he just freezes. And honestly, it must be really hard to watch your loved one in so much pain and you can't fix it.
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  #15  
May 27th, 2011, 07:47 AM
Aidan~N~Haileys Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mama2seven View Post
lol labor or not I probably would have gone after him if Rich did that! I remember when I was in labor with Ashlyn he kept falling asleep and I was soooo mad. Sorry that I tend to labor and give birth during the middle of the night/early morning hours but dangit I was tired too!!! He's made comments too that since I'll have a doula there, does he Need to be there? Uhhhhh YES! Birth just isn't exciting to him. If I could go to the hospital and come back with a 1 year old he'd be happy, he's not good with babies - says they're boring and doesn't feel he can do much with them.
Jessica this is DH, he was great with Aidan when he was a baby, but would always say I can't wait til he gets older and can do stuff, it's boring, and blah blah..I'm like SERIOUSLY!! I love this, all he does is cuddle and sleep and it's soo peaceful!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by RandiP View Post
Don't worry Jessica...... my DH left me all by myself when it came to push time because he said he needed to call his work and fax his time sheet over. DOH! My mom was still at my house so I made the nurse call her for me. LOL They both got there at the same time. Then he just kind of stodd there and was like uuuuhhhhhh I dunno what's going on. I had to literally tell him to grab my leg so I could get a better grip on pushing LOL!! Then when my doctor decided she needed 15 more minutes and I was like I can't wait this baby is coming he finally got it that Hey we're going to have a baby! Then afterwards all he wanted to do was come home and go to sleep.... He actually asked me already if he had to stay with me the whole time this time. Geez it was our first child he should have stayed......
Oh HELL NO!! He did not!! I agree with Jessica I would have went after DH too if he left while I was ABOUT to push!! hell no you are not calling work or faxing over anything it CAN WAIT!! I would not have let him leave..nope not happening, it's not just my baby coming out!!

Steven surprised me, he was VERY supportive while I was pushing, and very concerned when I started feeling the contractions and started crying. He made sure the nurse was paged and I got my epi..After the epi everything was fine..When it was finally time to push he held one of my legs back to help me push, and he kept telling me I was doing great, and he even looked down there, which I think scarred him (haha), and said his head is right there just keep pushing you are doing great..I was surprised he actually was encouraging..I hope he does it again..Another thing that surprised me was that he actually cut the cord..He said he wasn't going to do it but I guess he was all excited so he cut it, now he says he won't cut this ones because it felt weird but I'm talking him into it, he's already done it once, why not do it for our last baby!!
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  #16  
May 27th, 2011, 08:00 AM
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Yeah I think if I had the epi he probably would have handled it better, but since I go drug free he doesn't know how to help me through the pain. Luckily my midwife and doula seem to instinctively know what I need. I think dh is afraid of doing something wrong and making me mad lol. My doula had to tell him last time when to come over and hold my hand.

He usually has to leave shortly after the birth. Kason was born at 4:41 a.m. (i think lol, it was around that time anyway) and dh had to be home by 6 a.m. so my friend that was watching the kids could get to work and he could get the kids off to school. Luckily I had a short labor otherwise he would have had to leave during it. I don't mind he has to leave though, it gives me some alone time with baby and then time to rest.

One thing that really irked me though - is last time I was walking the halls when the contrax really started picking up, I had to stop every time I had one and hold on to the railing on the wall and he kept walking!!! I would have liked for him to have stood in front of me and let me support myself on him instead of the railing lol.
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  #17  
May 27th, 2011, 08:23 AM
Sassafrass's Avatar Running Mamma
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My dh is awesome when Im in labor and delivering. He was supposed to deliver our last baby. Baby came a little quicker than I expected. I was in the birth pool with dh behind me, leaning on him for support. He was supposed to move in front of me and catch the baby, but I began pushing with him behind me, and once I started pushing I didnt want him moving.

He will be catching this time
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  #18  
May 27th, 2011, 09:50 AM
promises1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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With our DD my DH did pretty well during labor and pushing but when I had to go into an emergency C-section my DH turns to my sister and says "you gotta go in with her, I can't do it." This time around he isn't even planning on going into my c-section. He will wait outside. I am ok with it because I don't want him to pass out.
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  #19  
May 27th, 2011, 10:11 AM
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DH works away from home for 3 weeks at a time, and my due date is half way into his shift at work. if I happen to go into labour early or late enough that he is home, he will be there by my side, otherwise, it all depends on how fast he can get a flight and get to where I am. I truly hope he is there for the delivery, he is a very sentimental and sappy kind of guy, and I think he would be devastated if he wasn't. Not to mention, that I just really want him there by my side for one of the most special moments in our lives :-D
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  #20  
May 27th, 2011, 10:32 AM
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I had a scheduled c-section with DD and will with this one too. DH was great, he caressed my hair, kept telling me everything was going to be ok, and also cut the cord and took pics and videos of the baby. He was wonderful.
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