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Baby blues already


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
June 20th, 2011, 04:43 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 497
Things have just been bad lately for me I feel like I don't fit in anywhere and I seriously have no friends. I had a friend who lived in FL but moved up near me but she won't even talk to me anymore. We have been best friends for like 6 years and even have matching tattoos. She just never shares anything in her life with me and I hated that. I thought best friends were supposed to share what is going on in their lives. I have another friend who lives in FL who I have known for 25 years but I don't talk to her too much anymore. She is just very busy with school. Other than that, I have nobody and I am not joking. I haven't worked in years and I just don't know anybody. To top that all off all hubby and I have been doing is fighting and it is horrible. He told me two days ago that all I am to him is a maid. Nice. He said his feelings are just about gone for me because I never show him affection. I feel bad, it's like a double miss for me because he NEVER EVER wants sex and that hurts me so much. He has always been like that. That is our biggest fight and all it does is repeat itself. He could never have sex again in his life and be fine with it. He is usually such a great guy and we never fight. His sister was living with us for like 3 months and he kept telling me when she moved out he was going to want it all the time. Nope. I thought that maybe, just maybe he would start wanting sex so yeah I have been bitter the last week because she moved out and NOTHING. He just has ZERO desire. I just don't know what to do anymore. I also had a facebook and he told me that's why nobody likes me because of the things I post on there so I deleted it. I'm just so alone. If I'm feeling like this now, how the heck am I going to feel after this baby comes?!?! Hubby and I haven't talked in days and I've been sleeping on the couch. He works overnights and he's working the next 3 nights so nothing for me yet again. Then I'll probably have the baby and we won't have sex for months. I just want to cry. I hate this so much. I just needed to vent because I have nobody like I said.
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  #2  
June 20th, 2011, 04:55 PM
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HUGS hon!
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  #3  
June 20th, 2011, 05:09 PM
Karen78's Avatar 2nd time around :)
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,273
Friend, I am so sorry you are feeling like this!! Maybe your husband's lack of desire is a chemical thing and/or stress related. My ex-boyfriend was like that. We were together for almost 4 years and I'm not kidding when I say we didn't have sex for the last 2! Probably close to 2 1/2 actually! He said it was school stress (he was doing his dissertation for his PhD). But I totally understand about not feeling wanted or attractive. Hugs! My ex was thinking about going to therapy/counseling for the stress be he never did. I'm sure it would have helped a little! I hope things get better for you!! Oh, and he should NOT be talking to you like that! "nobody likes you"....whatever!! We are all here for you and like you! Wish I could come over and give you a big hug!
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  #4  
June 20th, 2011, 06:08 PM
*PurpleMidnight*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((hugs))
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  #5  
June 20th, 2011, 06:10 PM
2pinks&ablue's Avatar Chantelle
Join Date: May 2007
Location: NB, Canada
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Oh hun *hugs!* I was thinking the same thing, maybe it's an inbalance or something on his part?.. And, he should NOT be talking down to you like that! Are there any Mommy groups in your area you could join?
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  #6  
June 20th, 2011, 06:17 PM
.t.e.r.r.a.'s Avatar Proud to be a WAHM
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*HUGS* Every single one of us here is your friend! I know we are not in person, but we are real people and we're here for you anytime! I'm so sorry your DH is acting this way. I agree with what Karen said, is he under a lot of stress? Stress can be a HUGE factor when it comes to sex drive. It's such a hard time to be going through something like this because you are just about to have a newborn to take care of. Maybe he needs more excitement in your relationship? Make date nights that are not your usual dinner and a movie, do something fun together just the two of you that you have never done before. Sorry if my suggestions are lame, I hope you're able to work things out and get that passion back into your relationship!
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  #7  
June 20th, 2011, 06:54 PM
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i am so sorry you're feeling so down Please take care of yourself especially after the baby is born - I don't want your feelings of being so down to turn into PPD like it did for me after Nat was born. We are all here for you any time you want to talk!!
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  #8  
June 20th, 2011, 07:10 PM
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Thanks everyone I already feel a little better just getting that out. We have tried some date nights but thinking about it, it's been a LONG time since we passed both the kids off and went out. He's been so busy with projects around the house and he just got a second "job" on the side tattooing for some bikers, lol. So he has hardly any free time. If we try to watch a movie or whatever he just falls asleep. I do want him to go to the doc but he currently doesn't have insurance. We are in the process of getting it, it just is taking forever. I really do appreciate everyone's kind words
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  #9  
June 21st, 2011, 03:24 AM
sweetdreamer1's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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its better to hear that venting here helped u atleast a little bit..!!though we are not in ur real life we are deffinitely real people.. so we all are ur freinds in some way..! so u are not alone..! and i guess having a facebook account is a way to make friends.. i cant understand why ur huddy told u otherwise..!!!i agree with karen too. maybe he is in a lot of stress. and it really sucks when men are on stress.. they really ignore the home front..!!
i know it personally cos when my dh is stressed at work he hardly talks to me and harldy ever want any intimacy..!!! its me who makes the moves and talk to him and try to arouse him cos i have come to know that he is not hte type of a man who will come to me unless he is really really in needs..!!
so u can too give it a try in making the moves first and see where it will go..!!

hope u find happiness and his stress levels go down so that he can too enjoy life.. not just live it for the sake of it..!!!
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  #10  
June 21st, 2011, 08:39 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by alyssa&rylan's-mommy View Post
Oh hun *hugs!* I was thinking the same thing, maybe it's an inbalance or something on his part?.. And, he should NOT be talking down to you like that! Are there any Mommy groups in your area you could join?
Hugs! I also agree!! Try doing some internet searches on various Mommy groups in your area and join one or a few of them. You'll be surprised at just how quickly you'll make 'in real life' friends, because you'll have so much in common.
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  #11  
June 21st, 2011, 08:51 AM
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada, eh?
Posts: 530
Do you have insurance? It might not hurt to talk to someone yourself and get some coping techniques.

It sounds like hubby could be depressed if he has lost interest in things he used to enjoy and has trouble relating to you. Perhaps a more straightforward talk of "you need help, we need help" might be in order.

Mommy groups are a great idea, or even volunteering somewhere in town - the library, afterschool programs, something that will allow you to meet new friends will help with your feelings of isolation. Just remember that you're valuable, beautiful and strong enough to get through this rough patch.

*hugs*
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