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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
August 18th, 2011, 05:21 PM
soon to be mommy of four!
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
Posts: 3,033
(1.) How long (if at all), will your dh/so stay home with you and the baby after you give birth?

(2.)Will you have any other people to help (in-laws, family or friends) or will you be alone?


My dh will only be able to be home about a week...no one else near by to help, so I will be solo, but I'm used to it.

Hardest thing will be picking up kids from school everyday and getting dinner going (from previous experience, seems like baby is always napping/needing to eat at pickup time, and hard to make dinner with a newborn that needs to be held, and a 2 year old)
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  #2  
August 18th, 2011, 05:26 PM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 7,757
Dan will be home about a week in the beginning, and then he's taking another week off about 3 weeks later (for hunting season, lol).

Dan's mom and my mom have both talked about coming to stay and help...but i really don't think I am going to be comfortable with them here for very long. They are both so sweet, but I just can't handle other people staying in my home for more than a day or two.... I like my privacy I guess.
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  #3  
August 18th, 2011, 05:27 PM
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,836
DH is *planning* to take off two weeks. Honestly, I am sure I will be completely sick of him after the first week and send him back to work. But we shall see. I might change my mind. But I usually am the type to want to get into a routine as soon as possible and him hanging around might not help that goal. He gets one week of paternity leave from his boss (paid) and one week he will take out of his vacation time.

I will have my mom here for a week after the baby is born. She is coming to the hospital to see him born, then will care for Liam until we get home from the hospital, and then will stay the week to help me out with house stuff. She was soooo wonderful after I had Liam (she literally filled my freezer with food, did the shopping, cleaned, took complete care of my dogs, helped me stay fed and hydrated with nursing, etc), I am very glad she will be here again.

My MIL and FIL will be here about a month after the baby comes to meet him. Although I know that week will be more work for me, rather than help. They are coming the end of October.
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  #4  
August 18th, 2011, 05:39 PM
ItsFinallyOct's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 708
SO is planning on taking a week or two off. The nice thing is...he's off Thurs/Sat/Sun and he is always home 1-2 hours during the day. My mom always came down the 1st week for my sisters kids...stayed overnight and deep cleaned, cooked and did some day feedings for baby to help out. I am looking forward to that!
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  #5  
August 18th, 2011, 05:40 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I'm thinking i'll have DH take about a week off (that might include the time i'm in the hospital)...It depends on what part of the week I give birth in...I don't think i'm going to have much help other than that...My mom lives just down the street from me, but no one really helped me after I had Jack, so i'm not expecting much this time...I'm worried about getting the kids to and from school, and our crazy soccer schedule that's going to start next week and last through the end of October...I'm not sure how i'm going to do that...I told DH last night that i'm NOT living in the car with my newborn and he better make sure he's around to help with soccer after the baby is born.
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  #6  
August 18th, 2011, 05:46 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Northeast Georgia
Posts: 2,144
(1.) How long (if at all), will your dh/so stay home with you and the baby after you give birth?
Michael is training to be a paramedic, so as long as he is not in class, he is at home. We're living off inheritance and smart investments lol

(2.)Will you have any other people to help (in-laws, family or friends) or will you be alone?
We have Michael's great-grandparents to help us, they love taking care of Nathaniel since we live right next door. That's pretty much it though.
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  #7  
August 18th, 2011, 05:48 PM
mom2njia's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Hubby will take a week off and then I am on my own! But the three big boys are in school. So this should be a cake walk compared to bringing #3 home and having three in diapers!
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  #8  
August 18th, 2011, 05:51 PM
east to west coast's Avatar ~Melissa~
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 2,003
We're playing it by ear as far as how long DH stays home after the baby is born. Late summer/early fall is, fortunately, the slow time for the business that he works for, so he can go back pretty much whenever he wants. We're just going to see how it works out for us financially.

My sister is the only person that will be here to help us. We live on the other side of the country from both of our parents, but I wouldn't want and wouldn't expect their help anyhow. We're not close to either of our parents and I'm already getting hives thinking about the fact that they're coming to visit at the end of Oct. and the beginning of Nov. I have friends where we live, but my closest friends who would be helping us are on the east coast.
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  #9  
August 18th, 2011, 06:09 PM
aka Steph
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Southern Maine, USA
Posts: 2,727
So far, (depending on DH's leave) we are planning on him staying home with me for a week. But it won't be bad, DH works 2nd shift so he will be taking the wee hours of the morning feedings. We have a nice system. I'll take the kids til around 10ish, then he will get woken up and will be up with us til he goes into work around 2, DD goes down for a nap until dinner. DH premakes dinner around lunchtime so he can bring some for work and puts the rest in the fridge so I just have to heat and eat. Then I have dinner/bath/bed. DD goes down around 8, DH gets home around midnight. He'll have Liam til he goes to bed, and we'll probably switch off while we're sleeping, whoever gets that feeding/change.


Wow, that was a lot of typing. But things are pretty much even for us. I get a lot of DH help, I'm lucky.


As for other help, no. My mom lives in the same town I do, she works during the day but if I needed her around dinner she's only a phone call away. My sister said she'd be willing to come by too, but she's due a few months after me and still working, so I'm going to be doing it mostly alone.

Although if I do really need DH he could probably use extra leave.
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  #10  
August 18th, 2011, 06:13 PM
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 682
Dh is always home, so technically I guess I'm off work for 3 months to help HIM.
:-) Right now his full-time job is working on remodeling a condo that we bought to have as a rental, so we will see how far along he is on that when baby comes and probably he will continue working over there at least a few hours a day, but that's it.

My mom is coming for a week starting Oct. 28. That's 10 days after my due date, so I'm hoping baby is here by then. I have mixed feelings about her being there for the birth. She's wonderful and would be helpful to me I'm sure, but I'm afraid dh would not be involved if she were there. But I'm so glad she'll be there to help in that first or second week!
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  #11  
August 18th, 2011, 06:14 PM
MissMac's Avatar Amelia's Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 993
The military will give DH paternity leave. I think it's 10 days. He also has about 15 days of leave after he gets back from Afghanistan, so he'll probably just roll them together. My mom is coming out Oct. 26 or 27 and staying for about two weeks, so if Amelia comes when she's supposed to I'll have my mom's help for a little while right off the bat. Once DH goes back to work and my mom leaves, I'll be on my own during the day, but that's okay At least I won't be on my own all day every day like I am now!
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  #12  
August 18th, 2011, 06:30 PM
pamphilia's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 441
DH will be home for about 2.5 weeks, which is awesome. He only works 3-4 days a week, so even when he goes back to work, I have him for 3-4 days at a time.

My mom is also planning on coming for about a month. She lives across the country and has never been out here to visit, so we are looking forward to some time together. My dad will also come for a few days to visit. I am hoping that they don't come until about a week after baby is born. I think I need some time to get settled and organized and into the groove!
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  #13  
August 18th, 2011, 06:39 PM
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Dh is taking a month off and mil is coming up at 38 weeks for a month to come for the baby and Elise's birthday but he will stop accumulating leave if he does not use it so it works out well
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  #14  
August 18th, 2011, 06:52 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Arizona, USA
Posts: 4,167
1) DH wont be taking any extra time off. Depending on when baby comes, if its his days off, great.. but its also Elk hunting season so he may be out hunting... I have no problem with this either..

2) My mom will be here Im sure for like 2 weeks or something.. My sister and her family and my brother & SIL live here in our small town, so they are always just a hop-skip and a jump away.. Also MIL isnt to far away and will be around a lot too, Im sure..
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  #15  
August 18th, 2011, 07:06 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: North Dakota
Posts: 5,325
DH gets 10 days of paternity leave from the air force. I doubt he will take any thing extra. although he might take an extra week if he wants to.

other than that I will be on my own! no one will come to visit which is fine with me I like my space and this way I can get into our routine and stick with it!
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  #16  
August 18th, 2011, 07:15 PM
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Location: Hawaii
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(1.) How long (if at all), will your dh/so stay home with you and the baby after you give birth?
If it's in the middle of the week, he will get 1 day off. If it's the weekend, he wont get any time off.

(2.)Will you have any other people to help (in-laws, family or friends) or will you be alone?
I will be alone. I have no family near. Well, IL's are 5 hours away, but they both work full time. Plus they and my own parents are going on a Cruise 2 weeks after my due date. Lovely! My Mom and step-dad will be in town for about 4 days towards the end of October, but there's no telling if the baby will be here by then. Luckily, the boys walk to and from school, and Donovan still stays at home with me. So it's not like I have running around stuff I will need to do. I can stay at home for a few days and cry and adjust. LOL
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  #17  
August 18th, 2011, 09:33 PM
Kobain's Mommy's Avatar Future A&M Aggies Mommy
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Location: North Dakota
Posts: 2,585
DH is looking to take a week or bit longer off from work. My mom is also planning on taking about 2 weeks off, diffrent from DH. My dad doesn't work so I'm hoping he can help also till I can start being able to lift DS.
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  #18  
August 18th, 2011, 09:53 PM
Jacobbbsmommy's Avatar Happy but Lost
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Lakeland, FL
Posts: 2,579
DH will have no time off.
and unless an emergency occurs I wont have anyone helping out either.
So on my own but honestly thats the way I'd prefer it so I can bond better with my new son and my boys can have that instant togetherness time also
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  #19  
August 18th, 2011, 10:16 PM
♥womanintheshoe♥'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 4,036
(1.) How long (if at all), will your dh/so stay home with you and the baby after you give birth? The plan is only a day or two which is the way I prefer it because the longer my dh stays home the harder it is for me to adjust to being on my own. I'd also prefer he save his vacation time for when the baby/babies are about 6 weeks old because that's when I start to get really tired.

(2.)Will you have any other people to help (in-laws, family or friends) or will you be alone? Thank goodness, no! At least as far as family goes. I don't want anyone here as I have my own way of doing things. My mil was a great help to me with my first two but I was too ignorant/stupid to realize it. So if she came I'd welcome her (and my fil...he's great with keeping busy around the house doing projects and such). My mom is NOT welcome to come out which I'm already dreading because once she finds out it's twins I'm sure she will want to be here and I have to tell her "no"; if she won't be here for a singleton (until she finds a convenient time in her schedule ) then I don't want her here just because there are two.

I think I also make our families a bit crazy because I do NOT want to sit at home and rest after having a baby! I have to be out of the house doing things, be around people, etc. I even traveled out of state by myself with the kids when Alec was 10 days old because I had to get away from home. So if family was here trying to "help" I think they would be more frustrated with me than anything when I insisted on going out to the mall or zoo rather than taking it easy.

Friends I don't know. I'm sure some ladies from church will bring meals and all that but I'm not one to accept help. Plus most people's idea of "help" is to come hang out and visit for hours on end. If someone wanted to come do my chores then they would be more than welcome to be here.

Quote:
I can stay at home for a few days and cry and adjust.
sigh...I am so not looking forward to that part of postpartum. That's the only reason I do want my dh home for the first two days; he knows me well enough now that when I walk up to him with a look of panic and say, "I need to go for a walk NOW!" he drops what he is doing and walks around the block with me, silently supporting me while I cry. Wish I could skip those first few days.
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Last edited by ♥womanintheshoe♥; August 18th, 2011 at 10:18 PM.
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  #20  
August 18th, 2011, 11:38 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 718
DH will take a week off work. We will call my mom as soon as we know "today is the day". She's three hours away, but will have a bag packed and in her car (so she says). I want her to come up to help with my DS while DH and I are in the hospital (DH has decided he wants to spend the night with me and baby at the hospital, so I'd like DS to be home and comfy). Not sure how long she'll stay....she is planning on taking a week off work, but I'm not sure I can handle her here that long! While my mom is on her way up, DS will either be with us or with a neighbor, depending on the time of day. I won't wake up my neighbor at 3am to head to the hospital...I'll just take DS with us at that point.
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