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My Story - Warning...it's a sad one!


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
September 23rd, 2011, 08:54 AM
And Baby Makes 3's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 586
I've been debating on rather or not to post this, I don't want to be a Debbie-downer. However, I feel like I'm being deceitful or not being "real". I also think you'll get where I'm coming from and I really feel as though I'm being dishonest! (Maybe it's a pregnancy thing, I don't know.)

Okay - Here goes....*deap breath*
Last year, on September 9th, while at work I got a phone call saying my baby nephew (my brother's son, who was 5 at the time) was life-flighted to Children's Hospital. I didn't have any specifics at the time and all I knew is "it isn't good". So I left work picked up DH and my Mom and went to Children's Hospital (which is an hour away from where I live). Once I got to Children's I got the whole horrible unimaginable story that nobody could ever be prepared to hear. My georgeous, beautiful, INNOCENT baby nephew was beat! Badly beat! He had severe swelling on his brain, the blood vessels behind his eyes were busted (which takes A LOT of force to do), and a bunch of other stuff. Nobody could tell us anything basically other than we have to wait and see. He was put on life support immediately after arriving at the hospital. The next several days were full of ups and downs. It still hadn't hit any of us that he might not come home. We were focused on HOW he would come home. Would he be normal? Would he have brain damage? We didn't care, of course, we just wanted him home. Well, on September 16th his brain started to swell again, and they couldn't stop it. On the 17th he had a SERIES of MASSIVE strokes. Doctors believe he had ten massive strokes almost back to back. On that Friday, September 17th, the doctors told us that he was essentially brain dead and would never wake up! However, it wasn't that simple. The strokes killed 95% of his brain, but 5% was still functioning. That 5% operated his heart, and his lungs. So we had a decision to make. We could take him off life support, but he may be able to sustain himself because his brain is still working his heart and lungs and he could be like that forever and there would be nothing they could do. Or, we could stop all the medicine being given to him (minus pain medicine) and let nature take it's course. Maybe he would have a last, and final, stroke, maybe he wouldn't. So we stopped all medicine. Come Sunday, September 19th, no changes. So we, as a family, decided it was time to take him off life support. My brother talked to me and asked what I thought about having his organs donated. I thought that was a good idea. So my brother decided that's what he wanted to do. On Monday morning, September 20th, they took him off life support. He took his last breath at 4:53 pm September 20, 2010! It was now, murder! The news went CRAZY with this story. It had already been on the news, in the news papers. We couldn't go anywhere without seeing his picture. Little did I know, it was about to get worse. The guy who beat/murdered him was arrested a few days before he passed. Once the press got word he didn't survive they went insane! Everybody wanted a "story". He wasn't a "story" he was a precious little boy who, in no way, deserved to die as brutally as he did. Reporters were calling my phone while we were at the funeral. We had several police officers and detectives at the funeral. It was the worst thing a person could ever possibly go through. My little boy, who was 5 at the time, two months younger than my nephew had (still has) a really hard time dealing with it. Anyway - the "man" who did this to him was charged with 1 count of murder, 1 count of manslaughter, 1 count of felonious assalt, and 1 count of child endangering. His pre-trial is scheduled for October 3rd and the murder trial starts November 7th. (Gonna be another new's frenzy) Our Prosecutor has already told my entire family to be prepared to get a subpoena to testify at his trial. I will be almost 9 months pregnant at that time. I will do whatever is in my power to see to it that he NEVER gets out of prison, but, I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to handle sitting 20 feet from him. I've never even seen this freak, only pictures and the first time I have to come face to face with him I'll be 8 months pregnant! I hope I can do it! I'm so afraid the stress will throw me into labor. He has caused my family more pain then anybody person should ever have to endure and now I'm afraid of going into premature labor because of it!!

Sorry it's so long. I tried to give the quick verson! I feel better now that I got that off my chest!
*sigh*
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  #2  
September 23rd, 2011, 12:52 PM
AprilJanellieBellie's Avatar Keepin Busy
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Location: Hesperia
Posts: 9,478
That is a horrible story. I'm sorry that anyone has to deal with things like this, especially durig a pregnancy. I would let your doctor know about the stress you are about to be under & see what they recommend to help you relax. Maybe a yoga class, or some counciling? I would definetly try to stay as much behind the scenes as possible. I know that when my dad's murder trial was going on, I was able to write a letter instead of testifying. Maybe that is an option for you, since I would think that being that far in pregnancy is a medical condition.
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  #3  
September 23rd, 2011, 01:14 PM
jessicab25's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Im sorry your familys going thru this. I would also let your dr know the stress and maybe seek someone to talk with to help you deal with the trial. My friend went thru this a few years ago(thankfully after such a horrible road hes a happy 5yr old). The horrible man was her SIL's husband, and the family still spoke/speaks with him etc. I wanted to kill him for her. You dont harm children. They cant fight for them selves.
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  #4  
September 23rd, 2011, 01:36 PM
ShelleyB80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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OMG that is so awful. Try to deal the best you can - as angry as you are about the mere thought of this person, just know that karma will take care of him. Your nephew is in good hands now
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  #5  
September 23rd, 2011, 02:23 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I really want to say I know what story you are referring to. D. Baker? I dont want to put to much on here without you saying who it is, Its a terrible story! I really hope you can recover from such a tragedy! I know it has to be tough. I also agree with the other ladies about seeing if you can write a letter, so you arent under so much stress. good luck!
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  #6  
September 23rd, 2011, 02:51 PM
And Baby Makes 3's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Ohio
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Thanks Ladies. Everytime I go to the doctor I say I'm going to talk to him about it. Then I can't find the words. It's definitely a lot easier to type than it is to talk about. I do realize I'm going to have to say something before the trial though. I hope the letter thing is an option. But then I feel bad because I feel like I should be there for my Mom and my brother. My Mom is going to have a nervous breakdown, and God forbide he gets out of prison, my brother will kill him!! And really, who can blame him. Not me! I go to the doctor on Thursday, I'm going to try really really hard to mention the trial to him, just see what he thinks.

Definitely been rough. The 1st anniversary was hard, obviously. Thanks for "listening" girls. I don't have anybody to talk to it about. I'm the "strong" one in my family so my Mom and everybody talks to me about everything and gets everything off their chest, but with the exception of my husband, I don't have anybody to talk to about it. Normally I would talk to my brother, I can't do that in this case. So thanks girls!

PS. Yes Stucklikeglue! That is my nephew. Wow. I would have never guessed somebody on this site would have heard of this story. I know it was all over the news, but wow. What are the chances.
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  #7  
September 23rd, 2011, 03:02 PM
Lorena26's Avatar ♥ Gio's Mommy ♥
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Location: Long Island, NY
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I'm so terribly sorry to hear of this, i hope you and your family can get through this in the easiest way possible. I really hope the letter is a viable option, its such a big stressful ordeal for you to have to go through in general but for a pregnant woman it's even more of a concern.
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  #8  
September 23rd, 2011, 03:13 PM
stucklikeglue's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I understand what you mean. I have days where I just need to vent and have no one to turn to because they all turn to me, expect me to be the strong one. Thats what we are here for. And seriously sometimes its easier to talk to a stranger then someone you know. I really hope it all goes well. Gl girl.
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  #9  
September 23rd, 2011, 03:32 PM
And Baby Makes 3's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thank you Lorena!

Stucklikeglue - You're exactly right. It is easier to talk to strangers sometimes.
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  #10  
September 23rd, 2011, 03:55 PM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Virginia
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I'm so sorry your family is dealing with this.
I would ask your families lawyer about the letter ASAP so there is time for the judge to decide if they will need documentation from your OB about your pregnancy and for there to be enough time to go through whatever legal hoops you may have to go through to be able to get the letter.
Also I am sure its been mentioned but have you guys contacted anyone at Victims Services? I am sure they will have some grief support and counseling available for you all
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  #11  
September 23rd, 2011, 05:32 PM
Aidan~N~Haileys Mama's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh WOW! That's such a terrible story!! I'm sorry you and your family are going through that! I can't imagine! I never understood why people hurt children, makes no sense. I agree I would try and talk to your dr asap about the trial and see about writing a letter instead, maybe you can still go to the trial but not testify so you are still there for your family but not have the stress and pressure of testifying!! Good luck with everything..and we are here whenever you need to vent!!
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  #12  
September 23rd, 2011, 05:37 PM
Thismamaisonherway's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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What a sad and awful story. I am so sorry your family had to go through something like this. I hope you don't have to testify and the rest of the familys statements will be enough to put this monster behind bars forever. It blows my mind how someone could purposely hurt a child. Especially one that can talk and tell you how much he loves you. Be strong mama.
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  #13  
September 23rd, 2011, 11:57 PM
kristen121's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Minnesota
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Wow. I don't have any advice that hasn't already been offered, but big to you.
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  #14  
September 24th, 2011, 08:36 AM
OurSweetLabs's Avatar I LOVE My Boys!!
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I am so sorry for you and your family. Such a senseless tragedy. I hope that he rots in jail for what he did.
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  #15  
September 24th, 2011, 01:23 PM
gardnerbaby's Avatar expecting #2
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Oh my! My heart aches for you and your family. I'm so sorry!
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  #16  
September 26th, 2011, 08:26 AM
And Baby Makes 3's Avatar Super Mommy
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Thanks ladies!! I'm definitely gonna talk to my doctor on Thursday when I go. I'll make myself. Also, we have been in contact with victim assistance. I had to put my little boy in counseling after this happened and victim's assistance helped pay for the baby's funeral and attorneys fees to prosecute him.
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  #17  
September 26th, 2011, 11:20 AM
Snookums's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry your family had to/is going through this it's just heartbreaking
I would definitely mention it to your doctor (though I understand that is easier said than done, somethings are just hard to get the words out of your mouth).
I hope that guy gets put away for a very very long time
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  #18  
September 26th, 2011, 11:25 AM
And Baby Makes 3's Avatar Super Mommy
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That's exactly it. Its hard to get the words out of my mouth!!!

I hope he gets put away forever. My brother and the baby's Mom said they don't want them to seek the death penalty. They want him to suffer in prison forever. Plus it's harder to get a conviction with death penalty cases. As long as he never breaths free air again, we can live with that.
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