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Sleeping Problems PLEASE HELP!!!!


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
January 2nd, 2012, 09:08 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 58
Is anyone else having sleep problems with their baby?? I have always rocked her to sleep with a bottle. Now that she's 11 months old everyone is telling me I have to train her to go to sleep on her own. At first my problem was that she would still wake up in the middle of the night. My doctor said she was a night feeder, meaning she associated the bottle with going back to sleep. She suggested letting her cry it out. I tried that but it was so hard and didn't seem to work so I stopped. I felt like the worst mother in the world. I also had my mother-in-law saying she doesn't believe that and she's too young to leave crying. She said her sons (including my husband) just knew to go to sleep after 1 year. I don't believe it just happens magically.

Now all of a sudden she doesn't wake at night for the last few weeks (crossing my fingers). I still have the issue of getting her to sleep and staying asleep though. Sometimes after I put her down she wakes crying after 30-60 mintues. I have no idea what wakes her.

Is it wrong to rock her to sleep with a bottle each night? Am I teaching her bad habits??? If she's sleeping through the night does it really matter? Am I setting myself up for misery as she gets older? That's my biggest concern. She is my first and I have no idea what to do!! Any suggestions for me?
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After 2 1/2 years of trying & 2 miscarriages, all it took to get pregnant was to buy a house and stop trying! Looks like the 3rd time is the charm!

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Last edited by BabyBones2Be; January 2nd, 2012 at 09:10 PM.
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  #2  
January 4th, 2012, 07:37 PM
CptStargel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: South Carolina
Posts: 1,594
I'm so sorry you are having so many mixed recommendations from family and doctors. We started with a routine because Maddie was having a lot of issues with sleeping and I was one tired mama! She is also my first and only so I am not an expert by any stretch of the imagination! We did the same routine every single night for 2 weeks until she finally caught on and now it is like old habit and we can stay out a little later if we need and she just falls asleep when she is ready. I know that all babies are different so I know it may not work for you like it did us, but babies love routine. Here is how we did it and we were very strict at first until she started sleeping through the night and now we can be more lenient (spelling?).
At 6:30pm we gave the last feeding (milk/pureed/whatever she eats now)
7:00pm bath time/warm lotion/warm clothes/quiet talk and lights dimmed to let her know that it is time to calm down and get ready for bed
7:30pm (or so) start rocking and singing or reading a book whichever you choose, but we sing the same song every night so she knows when that song starts it is time for bed.
She is usually asleep and in her crib by 8pm.
Now that she is so stuck on this routine I can actually start rocking her and sing her song once and while she is still awake lay her in bed and she will fall asleep on her own. I was told that they have to learn to fall asleep on their own, but I don't just toss her in bed and expect her to go to sleep. I help her, but we did wean her off the bottle so she does not depend on it to sleep, but her new habit is thumb sucking and that may be worse than the bottle. Lol!
I hope this helps. At first she did still wake up in the night, but it went from 3 times to 1 time and now she sleeps from 8pm to 6am every night without fail. It just takes time and it took at least 2 weeks for it to work. I think calming them is the hardest part because they get so riled and excited and if they get overtired then it is even harder. If she starts showing signs of tiredness I just start our food and bath and bedtim eearlier in the night. It doesn't make her wake up any earlier by going to bed earlier.

Oh! And weaning her off that bedtime bottle....we just started by decreasing the amount that was in that last bottle until there was only 2 oz and then we just stopped when it seemed like she was ready. Not exactly a science, but we kind of went by her cues on when to stop! Lol!
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  #3  
January 5th, 2012, 05:36 AM
JustLiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: East Coast
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Sorry you are so stressed out! First, I would say, I don't think anyone has any proof that babies that wake up and eat at night wind up having sleep problems later in life. My mom and my MIL nursed 2 children each. None of us 4 slept through the night until sometime between 1 and 2 years. None of us have any sleep problems as adults or had any troubles with frequent waking, bedwetting, etc as children. In fact, we were all great sleepers as kids. I am still nursing DS 1-2 times overnight. He is gradually going down to 1 and I hope to start weaning him off the 1 when he is about a year. I may try offering him water or just rocking him when he wakes up, but knowing me I may just nurse him until he's ready to give it up.

I also agree with a bedtime routine. I started doing this thing with Des where we go around his room and the living room and say goodnight to everything (toys, crib, rocking chair, books, etc.). Then I hold him up to the light switches and he turns out the lights. Then we do a few minutes of rocking and he usually falls asleep right away. He doesn't wake up until his first nursing session, which is usually around midnight. I definitely think the routine cues him that it is time to settle down.

I don't really understand CIO. Not that I think it's bad if it works for some people. Every child is different. But, I think it makes more sense to teach them to fall asleep through a nice, quiet routine so they can go to bed happy rather than going to bed crying! I haven't read any of the books on sleep training, so I could be totally misunderstanding the technique, but it just doesn't make sense to me. Children need time and patience to be taught everything in life - walking, talking, eating...and each child does it in their own particular time. You can do things to help them out, but in the end they have to be developmentally ready. The only difference in teaching them to sleep is that it's harder on us because we get tired and cranky if they don't do it well!
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  #4  
January 5th, 2012, 03:17 PM
CptStargel's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Very well said JustLiz! I kind of rambled on, but I do believe that they have to be ready to do it on their own. We just got lucky with Maddie for the most part, but I do believe in the bed time routine as well. I don't like CIO for bed time because I was afraid she would hate bedtime and hate her crib. When she does wake up in the night I try rocking her back first without talking to her or doing anything to wake her up more. It is harder on the mamas than the babies I think. The other thing is if you are frustrated then they feed off of that and it's harder for them to calm and go to sleep. I always take a few deep breaths before I go in to help her. Lol!
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  #5  
January 8th, 2012, 12:27 PM
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Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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Thank you both so much for your input . We tried a routine for awhile but we stopped, can't even say why. I think we do have a slight routine, maybe we should just add more to it. My husband brings her into her room, hands her over to me, I rock and give her the bottle. We say ni-night and rub her head. But, we don't always do this at the same time each night. Maybe a bath and story would help too. We did read a story to her for awhile, then little by little it went away.

That makes sense about not wanting them to CIO and how they might hate the crib or bedtime. I'll try some of your suggestions and we'll see how she starts doing.

My main concern was her not going to sleep as she gets to be 1.5 or 2 years old.

I asked my MIL what she did exactly and I find out what she really did was give them their bottle in the crib once they turned 1. That's how magically they went to sleep past 1. I know nowadays they say not to do that.

Thanks again!
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After 2 1/2 years of trying & 2 miscarriages, all it took to get pregnant was to buy a house and stop trying! Looks like the 3rd time is the charm!

February 2, 2011

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  #6  
January 12th, 2012, 07:44 AM
joellejello's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Eh, I still rock Sean to sleep at night, sometimes with boob, sometimes not, trying to get away from him needing the boob at night now. He's been sleeping all night, so that part isn't an issue, but he will NOT go to sleep on his own. I have let him CIO a couple nights when I was just getting soooo frustrated with him because he was fighting going to sleep so much. The only thing that kept me from giong back in there and picking him up was that I was sooo tired and frustrated that I KNEW it wouldnt' help him at all. I went and got myself ready for bed and just tried to calm myself down. By the time I did that, he had fallen asleep.
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  #7  
January 13th, 2012, 11:42 AM
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I still give Julianna a bottle in the night. She wakes up like clockwork sometime around 3am every single night, and will NOT go back to sleep unless she has a bottle (just 4oz). Instead of fighting with her, or letting her cry, I just give her the bottle. It's SO much easier. I'm not worried about if I'm doing it right or wrong - I'm really just doing what works for us.
My DD1 was still getting up for a night feeding until she was 13 months. Sometime around 13 1/2 months I started giving her water in the night instead (mainly because of her teeth, I didn't want any problems with milk sitting on them, etc). She didn't like that, so after only 4 nights she stopped waking in the night for a bottle. I will probably do the same with Julianna. The thing with Julianna is that she doesn't mind the water - I tried it a couple months ago, lol. She downs 4oz of water and is just as content as if it were milk, which tells me it's pure habit with her.

As for bedtime - we have a solid routine that we started pretty much right away. Bath at 6pm, snack at 6:30, bottle and bed at 7pm. She goes right to sleep. Sometimes she'll wake up after a bit, whining or whatever. I go up and give her her soother, or if she's upset I'll rock her for a minute or so, and that works.
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  #8  
January 16th, 2012, 09:05 PM
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Location: Scottsdale, AZ
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I'm glad to see I'm not the only one to rock my baby to sleep I don't know if I should get her off the bottle for bed or not. That seems to put her to sleep! Another problem I have is placing her down in her crib once she is asleep. Half the time she wakes right up and cries so then I have to pick her up and rock her all over again. On bad nights it can take 5-6 tries!

I started doing a routine of bath at 7pm and then my husband reads her a story while I rock her with a bottle. When story is over he leaves, kisses her goodnight, and I finish with the bottle. She is usually asleep by the end of the bottle. Then the tricky part...getting her in her crib still asleep. Maybe this is bad, but it works!

It sounds like maybe I should wean her from the bottle though. I'm not sure how to get her to sleep if I don't rock her. Sure if she cried long enough she'll eventually go to sleep, but I don't want to do that to her.

I'm glad to say she is at least sleeping through the night. She'll sleep from around 8pm-7ish or even until 8 or 8:30am. Although some nights she'll wake up after only 30 min. or an hour of sleep. I rock her and she goes back. I have no idea what wakes her! She only does this at night.
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~Violet






After 2 1/2 years of trying & 2 miscarriages, all it took to get pregnant was to buy a house and stop trying! Looks like the 3rd time is the charm!

February 2, 2011

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  #9  
January 18th, 2012, 01:18 PM
Mrs.Ajalele's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I still rock Tessa to sleep and she still wakes up to nurse 2 sometimes 1 time a night... I don't mind it and hope she just starts to sleep through the night on her own. Just be confident in your own parenting decisions and nod your head and smile when others try to give you advice or tell you their babies are sleeping through the night. This is what I am trying to do cause like you I felt a lot of pressure for her to put herself to sleep but I quit forcing it and have been much happier.
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