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TMI: absolutely no sex drive


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  #1  
March 27th, 2012, 08:10 PM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,841
Zip, zero, nada, zilch, any lower and I might qualify as asexual...that's how it is.

I don't remember it after liam, although we waited a longer time and sorta jumped right back in. I don't generally have a high drive anyway (and neither does DH, in comparison to what I hear other men "needing"). But gosh, I feel a little guilty. I just would rather sleep, or play on the computer, or watch tv, or read...or do just about anything. I have never been a "just do it and you'll feel into it" person (I mostly did not find it to be that true). And DH is not complaining. But it seems abnormal to have NONE. I wonder if I need to talk to my doc about it. Or if it will come back when kieran nurses less?

Anyone have opinions? A similar experience this time or a previous one? It's not really something I can bring up with my mommy friends. At least not most of them. (Plus, DH would prolly prefer me not share that about him with someone he knows, random online is not as bad).
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  #2  
March 27th, 2012, 09:25 PM
lindz_fay's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am having the same issue except my husband does complain a little lol. It is in a joking way but he know he wants it more. It feels more like an obligation right now and I know it's not healthy. I do on occasion actually end up enjoying it but not always. I am hoping it passes when I am done nursing but I also worry it could partially be from my mirena. I am interested to see what everyone else has to say.
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  #3  
March 28th, 2012, 04:52 AM
Irish_Wristwatch's Avatar Running with Scissors....
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I think it is likely a BFing hormone thing, from what i understand its pretty common, Im not really into it either while nursing, and I remember lots of other ladies in Ross' PR talking about similar issues while Bfing
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  #4  
March 28th, 2012, 12:15 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
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Totally in the same sexless boat!! Ive been this way since after DS1 was born. So for over 2 yrs now. DH does complain but right now its hard to do anything with a baby in our bed and generally attached to me. I feel bad its just so unappealing to me.
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  #5  
March 28th, 2012, 09:25 PM
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Yup totally normal its your bodies natural birth control when you bf, I am in a similar boat not interested much any more
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  #6  
March 29th, 2012, 07:24 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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when I BF my other kids I was the same way...I really think that's what causes it, plus lack of sleep lol...I don't BF, but most of the time I don't even have a drive (just usually around the time I should be ovulating, which isn't good lol)...I too would rather sleep.
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  #7  
March 29th, 2012, 08:22 AM
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I am also completely without a sex drive these days. I just assumed it was normal due to BFing, so I haven't been that worried about it, although I do feel bad for DH.
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  #8  
March 29th, 2012, 11:05 AM
ashj_1218's Avatar Hiya!
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Whew...I feel mildly better that this is not just me. I have heard of brestfeeding causing a decrease in drive...just never the absence of one lol. I'll give it a while longer and hope it comes back, for DHs sake! Lol.
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  #9  
March 29th, 2012, 01:06 PM
RobinX02's Avatar Crazy mom of 3!
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I felt so bad last night. For once all 3 kids were in bed and asleep and I just wanted to sleep. I layed there hoping DH wouldnt initiate naughties and thank goodness he didnt, but I know he wanted it. I just wanted to sleep for once without a baby pressed against me. Of course that moment didnt last long because B woke up.
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  #10  
April 5th, 2012, 12:18 PM
BrittneyLA's Avatar Mom of three boys!
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Same here!! Like NONE!! Dh keeps asking and I keep coming up with excuses. We had are first DTD like 2 weeks ago lol!! 5 1/2 months pp!! Weve done one other time since then! Im bad.
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  #11  
April 6th, 2012, 01:28 PM
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i'm kinda am too. I think mine issue is more of just being tired. DH is in bed alot of times before i get brooke to bed. She is up til 11 most nights and DH tries to go to bed around 10 bc he has to get up at 5 to go to work. THe days he has off we usually try to but sometimes i am just so exhausted i want to go to bed.
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  #12  
April 6th, 2012, 04:04 PM
Miss Mo's Avatar Super Mommy
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It does sound completely normal - in addition to hormones, you're constantly in demand and haven't had your body to yourself in over a year! I think if it lasts well after you're done with bfing, then you could bring it up, but until then it's the price of parenthood.

Oddly enough, I had no drive at all after DS#1 was born years ago, and I never talked to a dr. (I should have...) Now, after Aris I'm feeling a little bit better about it. I'm actually relieved and hopeful that I will be even better after Aris weans. We'll see.
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  #13  
April 9th, 2012, 08:31 PM
Tina_Marie's Avatar Mommy2Boys
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None here either!!! I really do feel bad for DH because we typically have a good sex life I assumed it was because Im nursing and was hoping I wasnt the only one who felt like this.I feel much better now! We have only DTD 3 times since Karson was born,,Yikes!!
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  #14  
April 10th, 2012, 04:48 PM
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I haven't had ZERO drive, just not as much. I tend to like talking and relaxing first and we usually don't have a lot of time for that. Of course usually when I want to DTD, DH is at work or has to get up super early the next day. The drive has slowed down a lot though...hoping that once I get my beauty day later this month I will feel more like myself.
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  #15  
April 10th, 2012, 08:47 PM
ResilientSmile's Avatar Super Mommy
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I just recently started to feel good about sex again. But it seems it is hubby who lacks in the sex drive department. He feels kind of awkward about Lila being around and the logistics of where she will be when we are dtd. She is very bonded to me and we cosleep so I told him after I put her down we can head to the couch or wherever. I also had a rough recovery and I think he is fearful of inflicting pain.

this is way tmi but I really need to get a new vibrator. lol
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