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  #1  
May 9th, 2012, 06:16 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting?

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting?

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you?
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  #2  
May 9th, 2012, 07:01 AM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting?
No, because I have known parents who have struggled with their ill behaved child and spent all their waking hours reigning their child in and working with them.

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting?No, because I think I'm doing pretty good in life, and was a pretty great kid despite my home life.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you?
Despite everything I said above... kind of. I can't help it. I see a lot of my own words and actions in my older daughter. She has her own mannerisms, but still, at this age especially (she'll be 4 next week) I just feel that yes, right now her behavior reflects on me. I think after a certain age, and some education and life experience, this answer would change to no.
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  #3  
May 9th, 2012, 07:43 AM
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting? Most of the time, yes. I do think there are parents who really try to get their kids to behave, but just aren't doing what would work for that child. I also think there are parents who try everything they possibly can, but their child still has behavior issues. But then I meet/see parents and say THAT IS WHY YOUR KID SUCKS!!!!!

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting? Most of the time, but not always. I come across kids who are very well-behaved, but their parents suck.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you? At this age, I try not to think that, but I do anyway. If she is being really fussy, I assume people are thinking that I can't calm down my own child. She's only fussy and "acts up" when we have her out too late or she missed a nap, etc so I always "justify" why she is acting like that...but it's only happened maybe 3 times.
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  #4  
May 9th, 2012, 08:14 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting? depends on the behavior. If I see a kid disrespecting the parent and the parent allowing it, then yes.

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting? no, not necessarily. even bad parents can have compliant children.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you? sometimes, but not always
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  #5  
May 9th, 2012, 08:17 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting?
Yes. I try not to judge based on one encounter though. I think we have all seen the horrible child in the grocery store who is screaming and throwing a fit. For all I know, this could be an isolated incident. However, I do know some kids who chronically misbehave, and yes I do put blame on the parents. Layla has a cousin who is so bad, I don't want her to play with her. I feel bad for her though because every time she does something, her mom goes and gets "black magic" (a belt) to remedy the situation. No wonder she's so bad and hits other kids repeatedly. The only time I don't blame the parents is when the kid has some type of disorder that affects his behavior. As a teacher, I have known great parents who had kids who were emotionally disturbed. No amount of parenting would fix the kid, but I can only imagine how much worse they would be if they did not have such great parents.

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting?
Yes, especially when I see a parent using tools to encourage good behavior. Again, I don't go by isolated incidents, but seeing a parent repeatedly use tools that reinforce good behavior is an indicator of good parenting for me.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you? Yes, good or bad.
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  #6  
May 9th, 2012, 09:50 AM
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hmm yes and no. I don't go straight to bad parenting if I see a misbehaved kid, I usually wait to see how the parents handle it before I decide.
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  #7  
May 9th, 2012, 09:57 AM
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting? Most of the time, yes. I realize kids will act up so I don't usually base it off one experience (though if the parent is there and doesn't address the issue then I will immediate assume bad parenting) A lot of the time I do think it's the parenting, either giving into their demands to prevent any more of a scene or acting like the behavior is acceptable.

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting? Yes, though I realize some kids are just well behaved.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you? Absolutely! At a certain age anyways. My daughter is almost 4 and I think he behavior is a reflection of my parenting, at an older age, to a large degree I think you can do everything right and they are still going to come up with horrible things to do
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Last edited by irishblessing; May 9th, 2012 at 09:59 AM.
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  #8  
May 9th, 2012, 10:00 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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You cant always go straight to the parenting. My parents were and are wonderful. But my sister is awful has been arrested, spent time in jail, was in and out of juenile detention. I could write a book, in fact we could have a liftime movie about our lives, growing up and now, has left her daughter while my parents raise her. My niece is constantly misbehaving partly because she never sees her mom and my parents are her sole providers. So if see my parents with her in the store and she is acting out you do not know the whole story. While I agree there are some that are parenting faults its really hard to know where everyone has come from.

My husband was a foster child abused by his real mom, witnessed her several suicide attempts and is an amazing man. We are not all the products of are parents parenting good or bad. All we can do is what we think is best and that is all we can do.
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  #9  
May 9th, 2012, 02:21 PM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
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If you were to ask me this question before I had my second daughter I would have said yes. I also have a friend who is a WONDERFUL mom and her one kid just acts out all the time.

It is hard to not judge right away. My second daughter Alivia is VERY stubborn and independent and she will throw FITS in the store and in public. She does not respond to anything so we now avoid taking her places for the most part until we can get this figure out because WOW, did we ever get the stares of judgement when she pulled that. My other daughter, of course she had her moments, but was always well behaved in public and with strangers and other people in general. We are the same parents, doing the same thing..and two kids VERY different. Liam is following my oldest DD so far....
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  #10  
May 9th, 2012, 03:25 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CanadianLou View Post
If you were to ask me this question before I had my second daughter I would have said yes. I also have a friend who is a WONDERFUL mom and her one kid just acts out all the time.

It is hard to not judge right away. My second daughter Alivia is VERY stubborn and independent and she will throw FITS in the store and in public. She does not respond to anything so we now avoid taking her places for the most part until we can get this figure out because WOW, did we ever get the stares of judgement when she pulled that. My other daughter, of course she had her moments, but was always well behaved in public and with strangers and other people in general. We are the same parents, doing the same thing..and two kids VERY different. Liam is following my oldest DD so far....
She sounds JUST like my Katelynn.
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  #11  
May 9th, 2012, 10:10 PM
Mega Super Mommy
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Do you associate poorly behaved children with bad parenting?
Depends, but usually yes.

Conversely, do you associate children behaving well with good parenting?
Also depends, but not always. Sometimes I worry about kids that are too good. They are often products of very strict and even abusive parents.

Do you think YOUR children's behavior is a reflection on you?
Yes, and my husband is constantly telling me to calm down.
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