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Really need advice....


Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  • 2 Post By ~Rae~
  • 1 Post By CoreenaC
  • 1 Post By Aenyx

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  #1  
October 15th, 2012, 08:47 AM
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OK, this was my post in the Oct thread, but you don't all read this and I'm really just banging my head on the wall right now (yes, this is the source of my FB status)

I got a text from my brother saying that mom wouldn't go if I go because no one's around to look in on dad - um hello, the three spouses are staying in town!!

Then when I called her, she said it was too long of a drive for me with little rose. (It's an hour less for me than her). Then who would I be driving with - one of the 2 brothers (one with her and one with me).

Then she was saying wouldn't need to go since we're all going - uh, it's YOUR brother, why wouldn't you go???

She ended the call abruptly because I was at work (on a plan period) saying she'd talk to me later.

This is her way of ending the conversation. FML!!!!!

I look like an *** if I don't go and get treated like one by my own GD mother if I do go!

I guess she only wants her precious boys around her - god forbid if I see her human side. Not to mention I'm the one (and my DH) are the ones always trying to keep family connections strong and be there for others.

I'm so confused about what to do. Advice?
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  #2  
October 15th, 2012, 08:53 AM
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Hi Dee! I'm sorry to ask this, but I don't know the details - what are you guys going to?
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  #3  
October 15th, 2012, 09:06 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Ok, in your other post, I said I was leaning toward you not going. I've changed my mind. I think you should go. It appears not going adds more stress on you. Having one of your brothers ride with you will help you with Rose. I think you'll feel better if you go. I also think your mom will end up going.
I wouldn't concern myself with whether she goes or not any longer though. Bless your heart. I think you'll feel better after the funeral is over & done with.
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  #4  
October 15th, 2012, 09:17 AM
CoreenaC's Avatar Carter-Carter's Momma
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Your mother needs to suck it up and quit acting like she has control over if you go or not. It sounds like you really want to go and I would go and not let your mother have a say.
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  #5  
October 15th, 2012, 09:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AniLand View Post
Hi Dee! I'm sorry to ask this, but I don't know the details - what are you guys going to?
My uncle's funeral, about 6 hours away. He was my mom's only sibling, and my only uncle (by blood). At this point I only have my dad's older sister left. My parents' families are dwindling now that they're in their 70s
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  #6  
October 15th, 2012, 09:53 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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In this situation I would go out of respect and love for my uncle, but I would avoid my mother when there.

Maybe she just doesn't want you to see her upset?
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  #7  
October 15th, 2012, 10:03 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I agree with Rae!
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  #8  
October 15th, 2012, 10:56 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Go! If it is important to you then you should go. I don't understand your mom's thinking or actions, but I would just ignore it and do what will help you grieve your uncle. She will just have to get over it (and herself).
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  #9  
October 15th, 2012, 10:59 AM
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I'd go.

And if your mom really decided not to go because you are going, that's on her. she's the one that has to live with that decision, not you.
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  #10  
October 15th, 2012, 12:13 PM
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Yeah, I agree with Rae too!
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  #11  
October 15th, 2012, 12:27 PM
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Thank you all for your advice.

I haven't figured it out yet. This has been a bad day and none of this helped at all.
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  #12  
October 16th, 2012, 11:02 AM
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umm go, and I'll drive up and we can do lunch
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  #13  
October 16th, 2012, 11:24 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by w292737 View Post
umm go, and I'll drive up and we can do lunch
I'd rather just drive out by you and do lunch at this point. Read the chat thread for the most recent stuff.
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  #14  
October 17th, 2012, 06:47 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think you should go!

Forget your Mom...This isn't about her. It's about you paying your respects to your Uncle! I'm sorry this is so stressful for you! :/
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