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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By ~Rae~

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  #1  
February 6th, 2013, 07:42 AM
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Would you ever consider being a Foster Parent?
If not, how come?
If so, is it something you plan to put into action or is it just an idea?
If you would Foster Parent, would you wait until your kids are older or while they are still young?
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  #2  
February 6th, 2013, 10:15 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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We want to some day when the kids are older. My husband was a foster child so its something he has always wanted to do.
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  #3  
February 6th, 2013, 11:51 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No. I've taught many foster kids over the years, so I know how much work goes into fostering. Many of them come with a unique set of challenges & issues, & although most of the time it's justifiable, I just couldn't bring that in my house around my own kids. It takes a lot of time, patience, & love to fill that job, and I just can't take that time from my own kids.
I WOULD serve as a mentor for them though. I've done that several times in an unofficial capacity.
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  #4  
February 6th, 2013, 12:36 PM
irishblessing's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Would you ever consider being a Foster Parent? Yes
If not, how come?
If so, is it something you plan to put into action or is it just an idea? Just an idea at the moment. Our house is too small, and I'm putting any extra time into my own kids.
If you would Foster Parent, would you wait until your kids are older or while they are still young? Wait until they are older.

I'm all for it though, a couple of my cousins had to go into it and it made a huge difference in their lives.
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  #5  
February 6th, 2013, 02:55 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Rae~ View Post
No. I've taught many foster kids over the years, so I know how much work goes into fostering. Many of them come with a unique set of challenges & issues, & although most of the time it's justifiable, I just couldn't bring that in my house around my own kids. It takes a lot of time, patience, & love to fill that job, and I just can't take that time from my own kids.
I WOULD serve as a mentor for them though. I've done that several times in an unofficial capacity.
This, but not because I've taught them. My dad worked in a group home for kids who were too old to foster so I spent some time with them. Most had horrendous backgrounds and had been in and out of foster homes for years. I couldn't imagine dealing with all the issues involved with fostering.
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  #6  
February 6th, 2013, 04:05 PM
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I don't think I could do it. It would break my heart to fall in love with a kid and then for them to end up having to leave.
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  #7  
February 6th, 2013, 08:06 PM
CoreenaC's Avatar Carter-Carter's Momma
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We plan too when we are done having biological children or when a family member needs us. The time depends on our kids and situation but it's something I want to do so badly but would only take babies/toddlers/preschoolers to begin with to see how we handled it.
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  #8  
February 6th, 2013, 08:33 PM
irishblessing's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah me too, I think I would rather only take younger kids to start with if it were ever something we pursued. I would love to take babies, because I love newborns but don't want to have many more myself.
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  #9  
February 6th, 2013, 08:57 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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Originally Posted by Aenyx View Post
I don't think I could do it. It would break my heart to fall in love with a kid and then for them to end up having to leave.
I feel the same way too.

I would consider permanent fostering though, I believe that is different from adoption, at least in my province.
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  #10  
February 6th, 2013, 10:53 PM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I couldn't do it, I wouldn't be able to let them go, especially if they're going somewhere unsafe or questionable.
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  #11  
February 7th, 2013, 06:15 AM
mccaroline's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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A good family friend used to foster, she fostered over 100 kids over the years of all ages. I just couldn't do it. I don't handle major changes well and bringing a child into the house just to leave again and have a different child move in would be constant major changes.

We did consider adoption though and that was our plan before we had DS. DH had wanted a bigger family and I was told I couldn't have anymore so we were looking at different adoption services and types of adoptions.
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  #12  
February 7th, 2013, 07:41 AM
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Fostering has crossed my mind a few times, but I always turn away for the same reasons most of you listed. I love mentoring. I love volunteering. I love helping youth...a lot. I really think it is my calling. But babies and young toddlers are easy to foster out/adopt. The waiting list is for kids in 4th grade and above and groups of siblings. So many of these kids live in foster care, group homes, and shelters. A lot of them end up getting separated from their siblings. I always have a large number of kids every year (in a junior high) that are living in the Children's Home. It makes me sad for them. It's usually because a parent got arrested for drugs or some thing like that.

My mom was always the one who "fostered" (nothing legal, just irresponsible and selish drug and alcohol abused parents) my cousins when I was growing up. She practically raised one of my Aunt's oldest two children. They lived with us for many, many years and both of them lived with us (off and on) through graduating high school. Then I remember one Christmas EVE when my Aunt and Uncle dropped the youngest two off in our front yard and told my mom that she could "have them". My other Aunt's 3 kids have all lived with us during some point of their lives. It was usually when they were so "out of control" that they got sent to my house. I feel like they were always SO MUCH BETTER when they lived with us and then when they went back home...the cycle continued. My mom is the only one of 5 kids that hasn't had any drug or alcohol abuse.

And I am not sure that I would want to foster AFTER my kids are grown. I'll have to re-evaluate our plan in a few years.
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  #13  
February 7th, 2013, 09:35 AM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would love to, and would be open to any age range. I would like our last child to be at least 5 before we considered it. Our main reason for not doing it would be lack of space. We would need to have more rooms. As it stands once we have a 3rd baby two or the 3 would have to share a room, and here they won't let you foster without a spare room.
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  #14  
February 7th, 2013, 11:11 AM
mom2more's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I am with Rae. I worked with foster kids very often as a teacher. I saw the challenges their foster parents faced. and I saw the emotional issues that the children faced. Many of them come from horrible backgrounds. I wouldn't want my own children exposed to or influenced by it all.
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  #15  
February 7th, 2013, 12:31 PM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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One year, one of the foster kids in my classroom went to the bathroom alone during class. He had been gone for a bit too long, so I went looking for him. Long story short, I found him in the largest stall, with another little boy. I don't want to put this picture in your heads because it's awful, but he was molesting another child. It was a horrific sight, & I became light headed when I saw it.
It just wasn't his fault though. His dad would watch porn in front of him & his sister.
Although he's not to blame, I can't imagine how I'd feel if a kid I fostered did something terrible to one of my kids. I'd never forgive myself.
He was barely 5 years old. People don't want to foster older kids because of fear, but age is not really a factor. If I didn't have children of my own to protect, I would be more likely to consider it.
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  #16  
February 7th, 2013, 05:36 PM
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Would you ever consider being a Foster Parent?Not sure to be honest. If I did it wouldn't be until I was older, and my kids were out of the house. Although, by then I may be happy to have an empty nest
If not, how come?My hesitation is that I know a lot of foster kids come with a whack load of problems. My friend's mom used to foster, and I spent a lot of time at his house as a teen. I saw so many kids who just couldn't handle themselves. Considering the amount of pain and problems they have I understand, but I can see it be emotionally draining. I also have a bleeding heart for kids who have bad backgrounds, so I may try to end up adopting them all lol
If so, is it something you plan to put into action or is it just an idea?
If you would Foster Parent, would you wait until your kids are older or while they are still young?older, so that they aren't really exposed to unstable children when they are also in my care. Also, I have 3 kids and am single. I don't have time to foster a kid.
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