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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  • 2 Post By ~Rae~
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  #1  
February 20th, 2013, 07:25 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Texas Teen Wins Right to Give Birth Over Parents’ Objections - ABC News

We can debate, but remember that we love each other and to keep it civil. What are your thoughts?

** this is not an abortion debate!
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  #2  
February 20th, 2013, 07:50 AM
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Well...I don't think that any parent should be allowed to force their child to have an abortion. It is always VERY childish of them to take her car away, make her stop going to school, and do everything in their power to make her miserable. She's lucky that they didn't just kick her out of their house and into the streets. But I also don't think that the parents should be forced to pay half of her hospital bill. But then again, I am sure she will qualify for government assistance and get it paid...while non-teenage mothers with full time jobs, such as myself, are still paying for the birth...so technically, I will be paying for her child's birth as a working citizen.

Anyway, I am glad that they cannot force her to get an abortion. I do not think that is anyone's choice but the mother's.
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  #3  
February 20th, 2013, 08:06 AM
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I think it's great she won the case. If she's ready to be a mom all the power to her.
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  #4  
February 20th, 2013, 09:14 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I'm just sad that the whole thing ended up in court. I can't believe the parents let it get that far.
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  #5  
February 20th, 2013, 09:58 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Im surprised the parents only have to pay 1/2 of her hospital bill, Do they not have insurance? Insurance paid for my sister's pregnancy and she was still under my parents because not being an adult she was still covered. That part doesnt make sense to me. I think they are acting like its the 50s and they need to hide their daughter away for getting pregnant. She feels bad enough I am sure why let her feel even worse and the fact that it ended up in court? That is something she will never forget that she had to take it that far.
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  #6  
February 20th, 2013, 10:38 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I think the parents are wrong for trying to coerce their daughter into having an abortion, if that's what they did. I think that anyone, regardless of relationship to the mother, is out of line for even SUGGESTING an abortion. This is a decision that should be made by the mother.
That being said, I don't agree with the court's decision. If you can't tell by now, I'm the type who feels that people should be able to parent the way they see fit, as long as they are not abusing or harming their child. Telling a parent that they MUST provide the luxury of a cell phone and a personal vehicle for a 16 year old who may or may not be deserving of these things is ludicrous to me.
We don't even know what kind of kid she is! All we know is that she's pregnant. Her behavior could range from angel, to absolute hellion like one of the kids from Teen Mom. Suppose she's disrespectful and refuses to follow rules? The court forces a parent to reward her for that? Unbelievable.
I don't have a teenager, but I have worked with many women over the years who did. I observed a pattern: kid acts up, parents take the cell phone and car that THEY are paying for. Kid exhibits desired behavior, parents provide kids with luxuries. I think this may be what type of parents this girl's parents are. Many people parent this way. I can't say that it's right, and I can't say that it's wrong. I don't know, I don't have a pregnant teen, and my oldest kid is not even 4.

I do know that my mom did something similar to my older sister. She got pregnant at 17, married at 18, divorced at 19, and pregnant again at 21 by someone else. My mom was furious. She was already helping with my niece, and they were back at home with us. She refused to babysit my niece, and made her take her with her to most places. When my sister asked why, she told her that she wanted her to see exactly what she was up against being a single parent with two kids. She told her she would stand on her own two feet..tough love, so to speak. She told her that she made it too easy for her the first time. She ended up m/c, but after that, she was very careful about unwanted pregnancies and her next baby was planned.

All that to say, courts don't belong n this type of situation. If the teen is old enough to make and care for a baby, she's old enough to take care of herself without forcing someone else to provide things for her that they don't want to provide. A car at 16 and a cell phone are luxuries. There are ADULTS who make it day to day without those things. We are raising kids now days with a sense of entitlement, and I don't like that. The parents should be obligated to provide health care, shelter, transportation to and from appointments and school, and food.

Do I completely agree with the parent's decision, no. Do I think they will live to regret most of this, yes. But I also feel that the parents should be allowed to deal with this situation their daughter is going through how THEY see fit, not how a pro-life judge and organization thinks it should be done. I think they fanned the fire. For all we know, the mom and dad could have screamed and cried for another month or two, like many parents do, then got over it and fell in love with the baby at the 20 week u/s. Parents are people too, and whether we agree with their approach or not, they should have still been allowed to go through THEIR process.
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  #7  
February 20th, 2013, 10:49 AM
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My parents made my sister raise her daughter to, until she started leaving her with with God knows who and went to jail, my parents then took custody. She then moved to Vegas and has not seen her daughter since September. She has since had another baby and is due any day with another. All while my niece wonders why her mother isn't in her life but is raising her brothers. Tough love doesn't always change things. I am glad that your sister turned her life around, maybe one day mine will do that same. I'm not holding my breath though.

I had a cell phone when I started to drive, it was a Christmas present and was prepaid. I was required to pay for it or I had no phone. I was not allowed to have my license unless I had a job because insurance was my responsibility. Same when I got a car. My parents did buy it for me but maitience, gas, insurance ect was for me to pay. I don't think this article has enough information on what the situation with the car or phone is. Maybe the car is paid for but she pays for the other things and maybe not, maybe her parents have already refused to take her to the doctor. I hope that the family can mend from this.
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  #8  
February 20th, 2013, 10:54 AM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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I also think that pulling her from school was a low blow, her education is still important pregnant or not. I want to know how long she was out for.
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  #9  
February 20th, 2013, 10:57 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hope your sister turns around too. You've posted about her before. Sending positive thoughts into the universe.

I think my mom knew this method would be effective on my sister. She knew her like the back of her hand. She was her first born. I think she knew she was the type who, when enabled, would continue to make the same mistakes. To this day, my sister is the type who makes her life and those around her better if she's left to her own devices to get things done. She's a go-getter, but she can be lazy if enabled.
Maybe my mom would have approached it differently depending on what kid she was dealing with, I don't know. All I know is, it worked, and her life is better because my mom knew her kid and how to handle her.

Right. Pulling her out of school is absurd. I don't get that, like at all. Wouldn't they be charged with truancy?? I don't get where they were going with that one.
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  #10  
February 20th, 2013, 11:12 AM
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I don't think anyone should force another person to have an abortion or to parent. It's the girls choice. The parents (especially the mother) was WAY out of line by threatening to slip her the abortion pill and to beat her.This poor girls parents sound compleatly crazy and I hope the state has removed her from the home. I really hope the father and his family steps up to help her.



There are some details that this article left out that I've read in others. The girl was only granted use of the car by the court system to go to and from school, work, and Dr's appointments. Places her parents were refusing to take her so that she would get an abortion. She isn't allowed to use it for anything else. Many people don't realize that cell phones and internet service are now legally considered a necessity and not a luxury.
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  #11  
February 20th, 2013, 11:18 AM
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Mmm, tough one because there is not enough info on the girl in her daily life but I would think if she was grownup enough to get pregnant, she should be allowed to act grownup enough to have the baby. Her parents should act like adults - banning her from school was a mistake. They should have rather let her make her own decisions/mistakes and learn from them. I hope this family can mend because that girl is going to need support!
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  #12  
February 20th, 2013, 11:26 AM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
Many people don't realize that cell phones and internet service are now legally considered a necessity and not a luxury.
Well CPS will be taking my kids from me. When Layla is having one of her days or episodes, she's not allowed to use her computer or iphone. Period. It will ALWAYS be that way in my house.
Cell phones and internet are not necessities to me. I think I grew up just fine without it.
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  #13  
February 20th, 2013, 12:00 PM
HeatherLopez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I agree with everything Rae said.

On one hand, I'm glad the girl didn't have to go through the abortion she didn't want. No one should be forced into something like that. But how can you ORDER parents to give their child a car and cell phone? I was never GIVEN a car and cell phone. It would have been nice if some judge ordered my parents to get me those things, but I had no such luck.

While I would never choose or advocate abortion, I'm assuming this girl does not have a full time job or the ability to support the baby on her own. This baby is going to be theirs to raise.
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  #14  
February 20th, 2013, 02:13 PM
irishblessing's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree with the majority of what Rae said. No one should be forced to have an abortion, and considering she is only 10 weeks I feel that is early on and the parents etc should be given more time to adjust to the situation before being dragged to court. I'm not sure what it says about the girl in the first place considering she sued her parents... I wouldn't be surprised if she is a spoiled brat that thinks everything should be handed to her and paid for as well.

I think it's rather sad actually, that parents have lost so much say in how they raise their own children. It's just assumed now that kids should be given everything. Kids have more rights than parents... I don't think she should have been pulled out of school, but I do think the parents were within reason to give her some consequences.

I would need more information to make a truly informed opinion on this, but the whole situation is sad.
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  #15  
February 20th, 2013, 02:59 PM
irishblessing's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Although I just watched the video in addition to reading the article and that makes the parents sound rather awful.
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