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Oh I totally think the situation would be different if he had dated his bff Amber, LOL. I'd be like um...I don't think so buddy. I think it's weird enough that we used to hang out with his ex's sister and her husband (the one I mentioned that he had lunch with) when we first started dating. AT FIRST, I didn't even KNOW that was her sister!! Just like I would never hang out with my exes even if we are friends now. I agree with those of you who said there's ALWAYS the temptation from/with an ex. Memories, sexual tension, etc. I don't even want to be in that situation...ever! DH doesn't even have any of his exes on his FB. I do though.
BTW Tricia...I love discussions like this! I think they are fun and get to know us as Women and not just MOMS!
Kyle told me after we got engaged that he promised his ex that she could be "best man" at our wedding lol I had never even met her (and still haven't lol) and needless to say THAT never happened haha
I only have one ex on FB, Kyle has none.
He is totally on board with no friends of the opposite sex, too. We also have an agreement tthat neither of us drink alcohol without the other since soooo many cheating stories start with, "Well, I was really drunk..."
We want to do everything we can to stop problems before they even develop
Do you think men and women can be "just friends"? Yes
Do you or DH have friends of the opposite sex you hang out with? Yes
Do you spend one on one time with people of the OS, or only hang out as a group? Both
Do you and DH feel the same way about this, or do you disagree? yes we do.
I should say that DH and I both trust each other with friends of OS. Dh has many friends from grade school that are women and eats lunch with one often (couple times a month to once a week). Now, we are both honest about meeting friends of OS. We tell each other about our time. I think that if one of us started withholding information about seeing OS friends, that's when it would be time to worry.
I have had SOs previously that I didn't trust and so would not trust them with certain OS friends. DH isn't the same and I think it's because of trust and DH has constantly proven to me that I can completely, wholeheartedly trust him.
Mom to M (6), K (4), and little rose (18 months)
I saw a guy that I had MAJOR butterflies for in college and we um...slept together once...he didn't have much of a brain and it didn't last. But he joined the military and was gone for a while. He came back and I saw him over at the junior college in the summer (in 2010) when I was there with some of my students. He was SO BUFF and so handsome. He gave me a huge smile and a HUGE bear hug and told me that he always wonders about me and we talked for a while. Well, that gave me super butterflies.
I went home and told DH that I need him to hug me more. I didn't tell him WHY, but that hug from Brian REALLY made me miss being hugged and really made me want to feel special to DH...(he wasn't my DH at the time). If I were someone who gives in to temptation, that situation could have been bad!
Mandy - it's good that you recognized the situation for what it was. Temptation is tough in OS friendships, especially if there was something there before. I would say, I am more afraid of temptation than I think DH is.
Mom to M (6), K (4), and little rose (18 months)
Do you think men and women can be "just friends"? Some can, yes...in my experience, all of my male friends, even ones I have known for a while always has an hidden agenda that comes to surface at some point in time....
Do you or DH have friends of the opposite sex you hang out with? Neither of us do....I would be more likely to hang out with Male friends than he would be to hang out with any female friends. He is not from here where we are now, I grew up here so all of his friends are back in Indiana, if we were there, I am sure he would have some old female friends but I doubt he'd hang out with them.
Do you spend one on one time with people of the OS, or only hang out as a group? N/a
Do you and DH feel the same way about this, or do you disagree? I am sure he has the same viewpoint, but he would be fine with me hanging out with anyone...
Missing my sweet little boy, RIP Baby Sullivan Parker
Do you think men and women can be "just friends"? Yes, but a little over a year ago I learned that my husband was having an emotional affair with a co worker whom he'd claimed was "just a friend", so it's a touchy issue. He's still rebuilding my trust.
Do you or DH have friends of the opposite sex you hang out with? Not since "the incident", but I do have a couple of gay male pals.
Do you spend one on one time with people of the OS, or only hang out as a group? See above...
Do you and DH feel the same way about this, or do you disagree? I'd say technically we do agree, he understands that I will naturally be suspicious now of any "new" woman friend, at least for a while. Sad that it has to be that way, but it is what it is.