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Forum: 2011 Playroom

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  • 1 Post By mBABYe
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  #1  
May 6th, 2013, 04:43 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: OCNY
Posts: 6,431
Hope everyone had a great weekend!

Do anything fun??
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  #2  
May 6th, 2013, 07:08 AM
ShelleyB80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
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Well we tried to do something fun. Every time DH is involved in the outing, it turns into a bust. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Being separated for a year has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Should I stay or should I go.....

ETA....didn't mean to turn your post into something sad. Hope everyone else had a good time.
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  #3  
May 6th, 2013, 10:05 AM
mBABYe's Avatar ♥ Life with BOYS ♥
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Location: South Florida
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AWWWW sorry Shelley! I say if you can't enjoy yourself then why stay? But.. I don't know your situation so don't listen to me. We only have so much time here on this Earth. Don't waste too much of it being unhappy. *hugs mama* I hope it works out.. no matter what the decision.


We had a great weekend! Gorgeous weather! We went up to Cocoa Beach and saw this awesome replica Spanish ship that's at the port for 2 weeks. It's like a floating museum. So cool. Then we had some drinks and danced to the live caribbean music while the kids played in bounce houses. ..until my 4yr old saw me dancing and had to come out and join in the fun All the old people tourists were like "AWWWWWW" when they saw us dancing together haha!



Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo so we had a little fiesta at our friends house. They put out some slip-n-slides and kiddie pools.. We had a blast! There was so much food I didn't know what to do with myself. Haha. & margaritas! Looooove me some margaritas! It was a drinking weekend around here. LOL god bless the Spanish!
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  #4  
May 6th, 2013, 10:29 AM
Julka
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Saturday my older girls had ballet and later I did some much needed alone-shopping aka retail therapy. DH took the 3 kids outside in the meantime for 2.5 hours, he's awesome! We also had some Indian food for lunch which we all love around here! (must be the amounts of it I ate during pregnancy, haha).

Sunday the girls were at my parents for the day'. DH & I went to Church and then did some shopping, had dinner with Sebastian at Swiss Chalet (he was sooo good!) and then took a really long walk.

Easy, relaxing weekend My spring allergies were making me miserable on Sunday but I tried not to let it ruin my day.
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  #5  
May 6th, 2013, 10:46 AM
ShelleyB80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Pennsylvania
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[QUOTE=Julka;27343043]Saturday my older girls had ballet and later I did some much needed alone-shopping aka retail therapy. DH took the 3 kids outside in the meantime for 2.5 hours, he's awesome! We also had some Indian food for lunch which we all love around here! (must be the amounts of it I ate during pregnancy, haha).

^ This. All I'd like to be able to do is this. I haven't bought myself clothes in about 3 years - aside from maternity. DH NEVER has all three kids by himself. He has one excuse after another but when it comes down to it, he can't handle it. I took all three kids by myself to the park on Saturday - actually went over pretty well considering I had no help. The weather was perfect, too.
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  #6  
May 6th, 2013, 11:03 AM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ShelleyB80 View Post
Well we tried to do something fun. Every time DH is involved in the outing, it turns into a bust. That's all I'm gonna say about that. Being separated for a year has really taken its toll on me emotionally. Should I stay or should I go.....

ETA....didn't mean to turn your post into something sad. Hope everyone else had a good time.
I am so sorry to read this

We didn't do much. . . Yard work, some playing outside, some shopping MAJOR house clean out. The usual. lol
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  #7  
May 6th, 2013, 12:25 PM
Julka
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Originally Posted by ShelleyB80 View Post
^ This. All I'd like to be able to do is this. I haven't bought myself clothes in about 3 years - aside from maternity. DH NEVER has all three kids by himself. He has one excuse after another but when it comes down to it, he can't handle it. I took all three kids by myself to the park on Saturday - actually went over pretty well considering I had no help. The weather was perfect, too.
I don't know your situation too well, whether you're still separated or now living together, but have you ever tried putting your foot down? 3 years is tooooooo longggggg to not get out by yourself to buy some clothes. There have been times when I needed to get away for 1-2h and I left DH like a 'schedule', i.e. at 12noon - feed them this (specific instructions), then at 12:30pm (insert nap routine), then afterwards (insert snack idea), etc. Very, very specific instructions. If he wants to take the kids outside, I lay out their clothes on the sofa for him, etc. I don't have to be too specific these days because he now knows their routines, but I still leave him with food & clothes instructions. I do make it easier for him and usually leave during nap time (my youngest 2 still nap and my oldest can entertain herself and play on the iPad or something), so he doesn't have to do much. The weather has been warming up though so he enjoys taking them out b/c outside they really entertain themselves, he just watches them! But what I'm saying is, is lay it out for him one day. Tell him in advance, "This Saturday I need to leave for 1 hour between 12-1pm. Here is what you will feed them. Here is when nap time is. Call my cell if you need help." I'm sorry your DH is being difficult. Mine has always been pretty hands-on so this isn't something I need to ask of him, but I also don't take advantage and leave every weekend, either. But it allows me to re-charge, I think every mom needs to re-charge once in a while.
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  #8  
May 6th, 2013, 12:32 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
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I agree with Julia. 3 years is too long. I would say something and MAKE it happen. I also do not know your situation, but everyone needs some time to there self.

This weekend was nothing special. We stayed home and just hung out. I went food shopping on Friday, but that is it. I like lazy weekends. Oh yeah, DH was on call all weekend so he had to leave a few times, but that was it.
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  #9  
May 6th, 2013, 12:38 PM
ShelleyB80's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Julka View Post
I don't know your situation too well, whether you're still separated or now living together, but have you ever tried putting your foot down? 3 years is tooooooo longggggg to not get out by yourself to buy some clothes. There have been times when I needed to get away for 1-2h and I left DH like a 'schedule', i.e. at 12noon - feed them this (specific instructions), then at 12:30pm (insert nap routine), then afterwards (insert snack idea), etc. Very, very specific instructions. If he wants to take the kids outside, I lay out their clothes on the sofa for him, etc. I don't have to be too specific these days because he now knows their routines, but I still leave him with food & clothes instructions. I do make it easier for him and usually leave during nap time (my youngest 2 still nap and my oldest can entertain herself and play on the iPad or something), so he doesn't have to do much. The weather has been warming up though so he enjoys taking them out b/c outside they really entertain themselves, he just watches them! But what I'm saying is, is lay it out for him one day. Tell him in advance, "This Saturday I need to leave for 1 hour between 12-1pm. Here is what you will feed them. Here is when nap time is. Call my cell if you need help." I'm sorry your DH is being difficult. Mine has always been pretty hands-on so this isn't something I need to ask of him, but I also don't take advantage and leave every weekend, either. But it allows me to re-charge, I think every mom needs to re-charge once in a while.
Yeah, I have laid it out on the table for him many times. The more blunt and to the point I get, the more defensive he gets. Usually, "I'm going to the mall by myself on Saturday" is followed by "Well, I have to see what's going on. I'm tired - haven't slept much this week." He's fine with knowing what to do - doesn't really need me to plan out what the kids need, it's just getting him to watch them alone, period.

I know my willingness to stick around is fueled by me not really having friends or family for support. I'm by myself a lot. No one calls or stops by. I want to work things out with him because he's all I have other than the kids. I'm really not confident that I'll make out ok by myself if I do decide to leave.
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  #10  
May 6th, 2013, 02:02 PM
Julka
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Originally Posted by ShelleyB80 View Post
Usually, "I'm going to the mall by myself on Saturday" is followed by "Well, I have to see what's going on. I'm tired - haven't slept much this week."
That just makes me sad. I don't see why you have to make plans based on his availability. Sure, if he was attending some game or a guys-night-out or something from time to time, that's one thing... But every time? No, not good. I'm sorry. I don't know what to suggest, I just feel sad he's acting like this. And he hasn't slept well, um, so what? I think it's part of the becoming-a-parent description...
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  #11  
May 6th, 2013, 04:21 PM
IronMamma's Avatar Intactivist
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Arizona
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I know how hard it can be when you have no support, but to me it seems like you have no support at home either. I know for me, I would rather do things on my own then see someone who CAN help but won't. Every Mother needs to take some time to herself. It makes you a better parent when you are able to recharge and just relax. I would have a serious SERIOUS conversation with him and basically lay down the law as to what WILL happen. Who cares if he is tired. You are probably exhausted as well.
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Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy

Want to find a calmer way to parent? Please visit here HINTA Hitting Is Never The Answer
Gentle parenting is about guiding instead of controlling,
connecting instead of punishing,
and encouraging instead of demanding.
It's about listening, understanding, responding and communicating.

)O( Peace on Earth begins at Home )O(

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  #12  
May 6th, 2013, 05:32 PM
ComfortablyMum's Avatar <3 Mummy 2 Eve <3
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 8,302
It's Tuesday here

It was raining most of the weekend so we didn't do a lot outside. On Sunday we managed to get to the Botanical Gardens, but it was dreary outside. It was fun though

That's really sad that he won't step up, Shelley
I wish I was there to help you out!! Every mumma needs time out once in a while
I'm sorry
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  #13  
May 7th, 2013, 06:25 AM
D@mnedYankee's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Virginia
Posts: 2,460
Shelly- I hope things turn around for you soon. Since he is being a butt maybe hire someone to sit with the kids for 2/3 hours and hand him the bill

As for us this weekend was crazy, I had a wine tasting Friday night, Saturday we had an event at our Church I was involved with the planning and set up for so I spent all day Saturday at Church. Sunday was another full day at Church lol Between the service and a meeting that evening I only had time between to go to Moe's (kinda like a Mexican food version of Subway) for dinner and interview a babysitter. Last night I went to see The Great Gatsby (won free tickets to the advance screening from the radio station). Hubby is out to sea so its just been me and the kids...
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